Cheaters

Damn, this is turning out to be the most peaceful thread on here!

I'm against the idea of open marriage. If you can't be faithful to one person, what's the point of getting married? It's just a nice way for two people to cheat, in my opinion.
If you can't be faithful to one person, don't get married. Simples.

 

I disagree with open marriage for me. If other people want to run their marriage like that, that is their business.

I wouldn't want an open marriage. If I am with someone, I am with them and thats it. I couldn't trust someone who claims that they love and care for you and then turn around and go sleep with another person.

Not to mention alot of other problems this may cause. I mean their are STD's going around. If you get one who in the hell did you get it from - your wife or husband or whom ever they are going around with.

And what about the children. Who should be called mom and dad, the biological parents or the parents significant others? And there would be a lot of calls to the Maury show for baby daddies tests. I mean if somebody wants to split they could have a claim for no child support because their wife was sleeping around. Or the wife could say she wants to leave because her husband fathered children out side of the marriage. Which wouldn't really be "out side" since that would be an open marriage. Real strange.

 

you see this in the military from time to time especially when a couple is separated by an entire country.
its seems to be unspoken but commented in a way as " she/he likes to go out as well so...."

 

I do not believe in open marriages. I think that the whole notion is a way to be a slut but to be honest about it.

 

Not trying to fight with you, but the whole notion of "slut" is what I do not believe in. Too much brutality towards women over the whole notion.

Personally, it aint for me. But everyones sexuality is individual. And I dont see the problems with our society centering on too much sex, but too much violence.

 

What if the man wants or agrees with an open marriage, what is he called ? Why automatically put it over on the woman.

 

I have seen "open marriages" they have all failed. I have spoken with a few people who believed in the "free love" of the 60's and they have not had any relationships that have lasted, and are now old and alone.

I do not and never will believe in open marriages. If you don't want to commit to monogomy, don't get married.

That's my opinion and yes, I think it's the right one, don't we all think that way about our opinions?

As to if this is an attack on the traditional family, yes it is, but it is not flesh and blood we war against,:smt074 but it is not new, it is simply another type of attack. Again JMO!

 

While I dont see myself ever wanting to be in an open marriage - couldnt deal with the idea of some dude pounding my wife and what woman would let her man get some on the side while she doesnt? - I dont see it as an assualt on conventional marriages. I just see it as people who like to fuck others on the side, but go home to their wife or husband. To each his or her own.

 

Yeah OMG the marriage, the holy marriage between a man and a woman that have to be done in ONE special way, or it doesn't count!

Whats wrong with open marriages? It's not like anyone is forcing you to have it? What other consenting adults do with their marriage isn't your business now, is it. As long as it is consenting equals, then what does it matter if they are five of them, long haired hippies celebrating the freelove and shaggin' away all they want.

What about the children, yeah, what about them? Wouldn't it be horrible if children grew up with parents who had a functional loving relationship?

If I against all odds decided to get married (instead of just having a huge party celebrating love, or whatever the alternative is), I wouldn't mind at all if it was open. But if it isn't, that's ok too. But I assume that if I ever decide to marry, it'll be with someone who likes me for who I am, for real, meaning it'll probably be an open marriage.

Lucky for you, I don't live in the US, so I'm not gonna ruin the american marriage.

 

That would be impossible as most marriages here are misery-inducing traps that forgot the meaning of love years ago.

Open or not, your marriage will probably suck.

 

The only reason ever to get married is to get to throw a huge party and force people to dress up properly. (Oh, and the legal stuff.. )
I think I'd be happy if it happened to me that someone proposed to me.. But I'd most likely just laugh it off. Especially if the person indeed thinks he/she is gonna be the last person I have sex with ever. Not gonna happen. ^____^

 

This part I agree with! It's all so ridiculous, really.

 

Cynicism, thy name is Satyricon, lol. Seriously, just because other people may fail at marriage, or are unhappy in their marriage does not have any bearing whatsoever on whether or not an individual may be successful and happy in marriage. Any person can get married no matter how ill equiped.

The problem for most is not the institution of marriage, but what the people themselves bring to the marriage. For example, there was a study quoted in Time magazine in '06 in response to the "more than one out of every two marriages end up in divorce" statistic you hear so much in the media. This study showed that if both the man and the woman had not been married before, were at least 25 years old, were both college graduates, made over $125,000 combined income, had both sets of parents still married and happy, had some religious faith (defined as going to church, ect. at least once a week), waited to have children until at least four years after being married, had no children prior to marriage, were and remained healthy/physically fit, own pets, and a few other factors, the divorce rate dropped to below 10% and of those who met those criterion, over 92% stated that they were happy to very happy.

Now there is the old saying that statistics can be made to say anything, and there is truth to that, however I think this study is a strong indicator that marriage can work, it just depends on *who* is getting married. I daresay, few marriages meet all or even most of the criteiron stated above.

 

Yes, perhaps I was bit tart with my response and yes the percentage of Americans who meet the criteria you laid out is extremely low.

That said, I'm not opposed to marriage but think that no one should enter one before 30. I don't agree with the necessity of religious belief, but education and financial stability are of paramount importance.

 

Well, if this is a recipe for a happy marriage, then I am screwed. :smt043

 

I agree. But, it doesn't have to happen after 30. One of my friends is 33, just got married and has the maturity level of a teenager (no joke). Age is really just a number - a person under 30 can be very mature and handle the complexities of marriage just fine. It's all in how mature a person is, no matter what their age.

 

....yyyeah, so, the people who actually fall into those categories (ALL of them, not just a few) also likely make up, what, 5 percent of the population???

If you zero in on things so much, of course the statistics will change drastically.

 

As for the original question...I personally don't think I could handle an open relationship of any level. I'm too jealous. When I'm with someone the thought of them fucking someone else makes me sick, so I couldn't do it. But if two people can handle it, then I wish them all the best. The pursuit of happiness isn't always a bad thing, even if it goes against what people perceive to be the norm.

The world would be a better place if people spent less time judging and more time loving.

 

True enough, it was just one study, and correlation does not mean causation. In my opinion, the factors the study focused on did make some sense in terms of giving a couple a really good shot at a long and happy marriage that lasts until death do they part. Plus it was good to see a study that suggested good/positive news regarding marriage versus the usual stories that are almost always negative.

 

I think people are just jaded about marriage anymore. But it's my belief that if someone wants to have a happy, healthy, lifetime marriage it's best to ignore statistics anyhow and focus more on working to keep the marriage good. Some marriages are doomed before they even start, though, and one or both parties just don't see it. And others, they just take a little work that the two aren't willing to deal with. Still other marriages end because one party doesn't put forth enough effort. No matter how much you try, if your partner isn't willing to work as hard as you are then it's impossible to have a happy marriage.

It's just about the individuals. 70 percent of all statistics are bullshit anyway. People who say a happy marriage is impossible are wrong, because it IS possible. But not all marriages will be happy, either. Everyone has their own life, their own experiences, and their own relationships. Some are good, some are bad. When they go bad you just gotta do whats best for you and the children that may be involved, whether it means sticking it out or getting a divorce. The individual circumstances are the important part, not some silly statistics.