Would you ever marry someone who never wants kids?

lol, that may be so, but I take care of my responsibilities. Gotta keep him in the lifestyle to which he'll become accustomed.

 

Which is why I'm seeking a vasectomy.

 

OMg……..what the heezy!!!!????

What in name of skittles be on people minds now days?

 

Same here. Def do not want something serious with a woman that doesnt want kids. I dont feel i'm quite old enough to where I am really looking for a wife right now, but thats a big thing for the future for sure.

Bingo. That is such a turn on for some reason for me when a woman is affectionate and loves kids.

 

In all seriousness, can someone explain to me the appeal of having children?...for those of you who have them, or want them...why.

I have wracked my brain and there's only a tiny piece of which understands this, and then in an instant, logic takes over and I see all the wonderful things I could do without kids and I give myself a huge boot in the ass.

Why? Is there some weird biological thing that I am missing?
Is it just something that is so fundamental to the way we are raised that we can't help but want it?
Is it because nothing else means as much?

Sure, I get there are good times...but there are so many bad times.

I would really appreciate some thoughtful responses here. And, I'm not saying I don't appreciate the fact that some people want and love kids...good for you all...just tell me why.

 

If you met me in person, you'd want children too . . . rather immediately.

 

-be fruitful, and multiply

 

Oh. Thanks. Suddenly - everything is clear! Wow. A whole new world has opened up in my mind....

 

That quote was simply the title of a chapter...

a chapter which outlines why we need to have kids..

but I won't go into that

 

Hmmm ok.
I think I'll just go back to head scratching...

 

There might be a lot of bad times, but there the good most definitely outweighs the bad. I can't say that I was ready to have my son when I got pregnant with him, so I can't answer why a person would initially want kids. I was having a hell of a lot of fun in my life before I got pregnant with him, and I thought my life as I knew it was over. What I didn't know was that it was about to get better. But there is NO substitute in this world for the unconditional love that a child gives. Nothing can make a bad day go away like the feeling you get when you see your child running across the daycare room when you open the door and they hear your feet walk in.

Explain something to me though, what are all of the wonderful things that you can do without kids that you can't do with them? I mean, a lot of people here know my situation, (and I don't know if there are any other sole custody parents on here I think all the single parents I've talked to at least get every other weekend), and I don't think that one person here who actually "knows" me would say that I've given much up to be a parent. I have a great career, I travel (with and without my children), I have a life and figure out ways to include (or find sitters) my kids in what I want to do. (Example...we still go camping, and I take them to the river, I get sitters when I want to go out with my friends, my son is learning how to ride a dirtbike, etc.) In fact, as I look back, the only thing huge in my life that I gave up was going to Juliard, and that was all on me at the age of 17.

And besides, there's hilarious moments...like the one that just happened in this house about two minutes ago:

"HEY MOM! YOU GOTTA COME SEE HOW MUCH POOP JUST CAME OUTTA MY BUTT!"

Maybe that's what you'd consider a "bad moment," but I almost peed my pants. Different strokes for different folks I guess.

 

LMAO! Don't you just love those moments?

No, there is nothing like the unconditional love a child gives you. When you come home and they run up to you and give you a big hug and tell you how much they missed you.

Those moments when they do something (for the first time) that they've been trying to do and they look up at you and BEAM!! And you get a tear in your eye because you're so proud of them.

And teaching them everything. Watching in their faces when they finally understand what you've been trying to teach them. Hearing them laugh for the first time, seeing them smile for the first time, seeing them take their first step, read their first word....seeing their personalities take shape. Waking up in the middle of the night to touch their backs, talking to them on the phone as they grow and realizing just how "grown-up" they sound now.

It's all of the little things wrapped up into something so big that it becomes indescribable unless you experience it firsthand.

I wasn't entirely ready to have my daughter when I did - I'd never been around children before. I was scared to death...LOL.

But, it's been the most rewarding experience of my life and while there are times I can't do things because I don't have a sitter, or because she's sick and whatnot, I don't regret "missing out" on those things. Because I know that there will be other opportunities, and I know that every second I'm with my daughter (the good times and the not-so-good times), my life is better for it. And every second I'm not with her, I miss that little munchkin and the joy she brings to my life when I can look at her face and see her beautiful smile and hear her laugh.

 

no, i would not date/relationship/marry someone that does not want kids...actually guys who don't like animals are on that list as well...i doubt that i will have more myself (getting too old) but i love the one i have and would welcome additional if i met someone that already had children...i am looking forward to being a grandparent one day...i would even consider adopting and/or fostering children...

 

No. I wouldn't marry someone who don't want to have kids with me. It's very important to pass down to next generation, y'know? That's why god put us here on the earth to pass each of the generations down!! That's why I want to have five kids and then later on, two more comes in.

I want to have much bigger family ever. God forbids, if I winding up marrying someone who don't want to have kids..there'll be shortest marriage ever!!:smt011

 

well i have one child and i dont want anymore so i can say yes i would :mrgreen:

 

They want kids because they want to add more problems to a society that is already suffering from overpopulation. They're a major threat to my dating pool.

I can live myself without kids. I choose this lifestyle because I don't like children.

 

It would be silly to end a marriage over this petty issue. Kids aren't everything, ya know. And they don't always secure relationships. People just have their minds wrapped around kids, which is why I don't like children.

 

YES

 

Socal. thanks for your thoughtful response.
Perhaps it is something that I would understand more if I had a child...Some people get one by accident then love it. But, I think your last simple sentence summed it all up

What could I do without kids that I couldn't do with kids??
Umm...just about everything.
But, the thing that I am starting to realise, is that I think my parents and family influenced me a lot.
I come from a traditional house...where you get married, settle down, then have children...

I grew up knowing that there was something wrong with my life, then I realised what was making me feel discontented and it was that, as a child, I had assumed that I would just grow up to be like my parents...but that thought made me want to kill myself. And then I realised that I didn't have to be like them at all.

So, I think it was their OVERLY stable (boring) life that made me so anti-kids. The general consensus is that if you're not doing that, then you're irresponsible. I kind of think the opposite, but I'm yet to formulate that in my mind.

I think that that the benefit of having kids is that when you're old, there's still someone around who cares. Instead of being the last one standing, when all you're friends are dead. Instead of looking forward to your own death, you look forward to your future lineage. I can understand that. I just don't think it's a good enough reason to want kids.

Anyway - thanks to the girls for your responses. I will ponder it.