Appropriate time of Sex

I dont know if anyone have bought this topic up...I never really thought about it before b/c I was never really that hung up on relationships...but I have a question. what would be the average time between first meeting someone, then going out with someone and I guess dating someone before you have sex with them??? do anyone have like a preprogrammed time frame??? I know people will say whenever they feel comfortable with the person, doesnt that include the first date??? is there a difference if you wait one month versus 3 months versus 6, it doesnt seem so but yet there maybe...when do finally have sex do u feel that this seals the deal of the relationship, or do u feel like the deal has already been sealed and this is just the benefits of it...I can go on and on about it, but again I dont have time to write a thesis or anything...hopefully peeps can fill in the blanks...black folks and white folk all welcomed

 

Between 30 and 45 seconds, on average.

 

lol!

Well I know it might sound (don't know the word in english, lol), but I really think that there isn't a real appropriate time for sex. Personally, I never waited more than one month because I'm a passionate person . If u and your girl are officially a couple, u feel each other etc... why wait? I met people who want to wait months, people who just do it when they feel like. Personally, I think that if you like somebody, especially at the beginning, u r excited and hyper etc... So 1 kiss, 2 kisses etc... after a while u feel the need to go on .
But it should be a natural thing, not forced. If u guys feel like waiting and just enjoy each other's company, I don't see anything bad with it
Just be sure u both want it, whatever u chose to do. :smt057. Good luck

 

I agree, whenever it feels natural. For some people that is within seconds, lol for others it can be months. Follow your own spidey sense about it SirNice

**EDIT** I think if you rush it you may simply find down the road that you both say, yah we rushed it a bit, but I don't believe there are lasting impacts on your relationship (assuming you've established one before having sex). I think having sex on the first date would definitely affect the relationship - i.e. there wouldn't be one.

My personal take on having sex for the first time with that person is that I am IN an established relationship, THEN I have sex so yes this is a benefit of the relationship. I don't have sex at the beginning. But that is what works for me, to each their own

 

Here's an idea....

Talk to the other person about it and make sure you are on the same page. Sex can mean very different things to different people. With this topic...it's best to talk about it before hand, outside of the heat of the moment.

Of course, you may want to make sure you know where YOU are about it all first.

 

Anytime of the day is a great time for sex. Morning, noon and night.

But seriously...if I was dating someone, maybe two or three weeks. But most of my relationships have evolved out of friendships first, and in those circumstances hopping into bed on the first date is the way forward. Best to start early and get some practice in !

Communicate with the other person about it?

 

Co-sign. :lol:

 

Yeah, this is something that's different for everyone I guess.
When I was a bit younger I was all for 'wait six months! prove our looooove!' but I'm past that now, haha. Like Shawty, I'm quite a passionate person myself, got a pretty high sex drive but that doesn't mean that I'm gonna slag it about on the first date or the second date.

It depends on the person you're with, and how quickly the relationship is going. My only advise is that when a girl says that she doesn't want to, don't try and force it like the last guy I dated did :smt092

 

I don't really have a "set" time. It just depends on whether or not I develop those feelings...sex isn't casual for me, I like to have a relationship with feelings and trust...I know blah blah.

 

whenever you feel is right, I dont genuinely believe there is a difference in waiting a day to waiting 3 months. If the person is right for you then they are right for you.

 

Like everyone already said it all depends on both of you and if the feeling is right. I think you'll know when that is.

I don't have a preset time limit. I haven't done it on the first date but hey some people do. I can't say I'd definitely not do it, its all a matter of timing and on both individuals involved.

 

well damn...now where can I meet you at again??? ahah

 

I think I sort of didnt convey my thoughts well enough on this post...it is not really one for me to get advice on...I mean I have sex when i am comfortable and and I know that my partner is comfortable as well...I was basically just trying to gather opinions, fresh ideas, new data...I sort of knew i would get the type of responses I have recieved thus far...but I was hoping someone would present something interesting...not to say the posts above are not so, I thank you for your input...


Ok to be honest, I wrote this post b/c of me and my recent interest. I dont know if you guys know but I have been seeing this lady for about 3 or 4 weeks. We came close to a couple of times, but I was really trying to avoid the physical portions of involvement. It really has been hard and I have recently buckled in and it has happened. I refused having sex on two seperate occasions, but I saw that it was starting to affect her self esteem.
She told me she never had anyone refuse her before. I told her my hesitations, there is an age gap and plus she is the first white woman I have been involved with. I have done my best to hold off until everything possible was A OK. But u know temptation got the best of me, along with the fact it was really starting to affect her. Now you cant really keep us off each other and afterwards she always have a little smile on her face, which makes me happy. I dont feel bad for my actions, I know I didnt do anything wrong. I was just wondering what other people do.

 

Is this "lady" the 19 year old?? And you had sex with her because her self-esteem was being affected? Please. :smt017

 

people only see what they want to, that is all I have to say

 

a side of you I have yet to see..

(your sarcasm, that is).

 

In answer to your first post, I think one should never have sex until they are absolutely sure they want to JOIN their soul to that persons soul. There is a real joining that takes place in the act of sex that cannot be reversed. So that is why I chose to wait till marriage. I think a strong long term commitment is absolutely necessary. JMO!!

That is the dumbest reason ever for having sex! If her self esteem is that fragile, you really made a huge mistake, you better not ever break it off, because you will really be in trouble.

Or did you plan to marry her so that you wouldn't damage her self esteem too??:smt017

 

again people only read what they want to hear...probably 85% was temptation and I wanted to , 15% or less was other factors

 

"people" can only go on what you present.

 

Is this the nurses daughter? Just curious. You posted about her prior.