The thick white girl

I'm going to go deep here. And yah, I know some of you all hate that - so don't read it.

I think the reason why so many get all upset about some of these things is this....

For many women on these boards, they have expressed that the black men they have come across in their lives and been with, are men who have not only accepted them as they are, but truly celebrate how they are. And that is one of the main reasons they love black men so much. Lets face it....everyone wants to be appreciated and truly loved exactly as they are.

Quite a few have talked about that they always felt picked apart and overly scrutinized by other men. While with black men they have felt respected, accepted, celebrated, and loved...every bit and part of them.

Some may have even felt really beaten down and objectified by other men. And this is where we get some women who come on here and are so wide eyed and over the top turned out. It's not just about great sex....it's about feeling like someone gets who you are and loves that!

So then, when the men on here simply do things that all men do - get into photos of models, porn stars, etc. maybe it starts looking a bit too much like some of the other men out there. I've heard it over and over again....shit here we go - now they are acting like fools just like others. Ok - so what. Are we trying to hold black men to a different/higher standard than we would another man?

In my experience though, men like to look at pictures, maybe they like to look at porn, they even like to look at women on the street. That does NOT mean that's who they end up with...or that it's even what they want or need. It's not because someone can't get that model or whatever...it's usually more of a matter of that they end up wanting very different things when it comes to reality. It doesn't mean that all they do is objectify women. It's soooooo easy to get things skewed on the internet!

Someone from these very boards one day said to me - look I may think it would be great to find a woman with the butt of this celeb and the boobs of that one, the face of another and so on...but that doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate and get turned on by women who are very different than that. It doesn't mean he won't be head over heels with the REAL woman he ends up with and worship and ravish every inch of her body (ok some poetic license taken)

Ok that's my $2 on it all.

It's really too bad though that it seems like every time there is a thick/big girl thread it can't be ok. It makes me think of doc Nate and his numerous attempts. What difference does it make that some men like big women? It has NOTHING to do with those who don't.

 

AMEN

 

Like I said Emmalee22, you'll be crowned Prom Queen in any secondary school in Angola, you'll be elected Miss in both Congos etc. The only downside to that is that you would also get sexually harassed

 

Just to add that it's not that black men have lower standards in white women, but it's because globally, they really prefer women like the ones who have posted photographs in this board. To a lesser degree here in the Western Hemisphere, but go anywhere in Africa in large cities, you will see black men, rich or poor, with thick, curvy girls, white, black, or middle eastern.

I don't want to post photographs to flood this thread just to prove my point, but most African moguls, president politicians don't date or marry anorexic looking super models. They go for the healthy, curvy or even "plump" girls because that's what turns them on and that's what they are attracted to in women, wherther them being black or white.

It's the sociocultural conditionning of most Western men that make it seem like a girl looks better if she's "anorexic" or skinny beyond reason. Skinny girls became mainstrean as soon as Fashion became a very lucrative industry. And the fashion industry is an industry where most of the great designers are gay men, men who therefore aren't intersted in women to begin with.

Back in the days, it was the Marylin Monroe, Gina Lollobrigida, Sophia Lauren and other curvy and healty looking babes that were considered the hot chicks, and nowadays, a Jennifer Love Hewitt has to justify herself for having so much junk on her trunk. In the real world, real black men from all corners of the globe like women who have meat on them and even "extra meat".

 

So for the brothers who like athletic, lean women they arent "real black men"?

 

I have found that the black men I've known have higher standards rather than lower standards. It's not enough to simply be an arm piece looking good keeping quiet at his side in this or that designer outfit. The men I have known are interested in a woman of depth and strong character who also happen to look really good. They are interested in women who carry themselves well and can handle themselves in just about any situation in life and still truly appreciate the man they are with. In other words...they want/need/seek a real woman. And they aren't insecure, they are confident in who they are and what they are about.

The really great thing about a real MAN is that he makes his own choices about the woman he loves. He's not about catering to some other's ideal of beauty or substance.

Thankfully, there have been some truly great black men in my life.

 

come on Fly...he didn't say that.

 

Damn - I'm starting to think we should go back to doing sex threads.

(Actually I'm thinking everyone really needs to get LAID!)

 

hahaha!
that's what it was like when i went to trinidad last summer
apparently, the fine fellas down there like their women thicker
ahhhh memories :tonqe:

 

Read the quote. It is exactly what he said.

 

I hate when people say the word "real" in front of the word woman or man when it comes to weight.

Real women can be skinny or fat, real men can like skinny or fat women.

End of.

It doesn't make you less of a woman to be thin nor does it make you less of a man to like thin women.

Don't believe the hype.

 

He said they like them. That doesn't mean that they don't like lean athletic women too.

 

I forgot to use the quotation for Real black men. It will be too complicated and complex to try to explain what I meant by that. Haven't you ever heard of someone being labeled "not black enough"?

That's not what I meant and I think you know it. I also used the term "Real world", how would you define the real world? It was clearly a subjective thing, just like most of the things we write here, hence the subjective interpellation of our conscience.

 

I know I do.

 

That brings me to one of my most common irritations. It's not just the negative attitude that we curvier girls had to endure, but it was the lack of positive role-models. The complete lack of (truly) curvy top actresses and models is enough to tell a young woman all she needs to know about how society feels about her body. No other negativity is really necessary.

It's true that the Marilyn Monroe-esqe figure was once considered the pinnacle of female perfection but not in our lifetimes. I remember getting out a tape measure and showing my ex-husband what he was calling "fat"; didn't faze him in the least. Boobs=fat. Booty=fat. Thighs that could scissor-choke you into submission=fat. Therefore, I (at 116 on a 5'1" frame) was "fat".

I always saw it as a weird cultural brain-washing that not only harms the esteem of many beautiful young women but does a huge disservice to the men as well.

Thank God we have Ebay now, Tink! :smt114

 

I don't. Sex is over-rated.

 

Ok we should clarify - REALLY GREAT sex! None of that stuff like on that one thread!

 

KnCA,

You already know what my idea of "great sex" is...we talked about it in the chat room

 

I told you though - I MISSED that conversation! I only saw a bit of it when you were talking to brit.

 

Really great sex sounds good