I really need advice

No I totally get the anger on your part or the part of the wife, IF the other woman goes out of her way to get with the man. Some married men though do go after women and I mean go out of THEIR way to go after another woman, I've seen it happen. I know there are some women that seek out married men but he still has a choice. If he values his wife and loves her and cares about his marriage/family, he says no, no matter how much the woman may pursue or come onto him. I still see the husband being to blame in infidelity EXCEPT if the other woman is a friend of the wife's or knows the wife then yeah, in that situation I'd give the woman a piece of my mind; otherwise my husband would get the wrath.

I can see how you would be angry towards the woman because she knew you were pregnant etc... but your husband didn't have to hit it if he cared anything about you and your/his baby. He's the one that had everything to lose. I'm not saying the other woman in this situation is innocent but if she saw that he doesn't give a shit, why should she.

 

Everybody should give a shit Serendipity,
When aware in situations like this and i say AWARE! then everyone involved has to take responsibility.

Happiness is not found by seeking it in other peoples marriages.
If i did something similar myself, i'd know i was wrong and therefore would shoulder some blame. By knowingly participating in the situation shit rubs off onto you 2.

But i feel sorry for the women who are lied to by married men, those women are hurt just as much as wives.

I did read the other thread, some things you said i agree with but we are all responsible for our actions.

 

I understand your input it is strong and very opinionated but i understand from you not knowing the whole story. I have told him to stop calling me and he even found my number and address when i wasnt living in my hometown and still contacted me begging me to see me which i had said NO. i moved back to my hometown after leaving my husband to be with my family. I have told his wife but it seems to be going nowhere because he still contacts me. I have moved on with my life!!:|

 

I did not know at first he was a married man. My friends and i went out one night he tagged along it was a friend of my friends and he DID NOT tell me he was married until after several months when his wife had called my mother's house because i was seventeen at the time to tell me that he was married. He was 18 or 19 at that time and was married for one year. Granted i should have left him alone after all these years but i have tried moving on. I should probably have my ass kicked because i did let it go on for so long but i have also tried resolving the problem by telling him to not call me and told his wife but it seems not to be working. I dont seek out men that are in a married or non married relationship i was lied to from the geko with this one......

 

Wow, SweetAngel he sounds like a bit of a stalker. Seems like you've done all the right things by stopping contact with him, good job.

I understand moving closer to family after leaving your former husband. I did the same thing.....

 

I understand your point about "the man being married but the home-wrecker isnt," but we live in a society that respects and encourages marriage, or at least committed relationships.

If you find out someone is married after youve started fucking them, youre in the clear as long as you break it off when you find out. If you choose to fuck around with someone else's spouse or partner when you know they are in a relationship, then you deserve whatever ass-kicking you may get.

The whole "Im not the one in the committed relaionship" bullshit is a cop-out by low self-esteem people who prefer a doomed relationship because they dont have the balls, strength, or courage to make a real relationship work.

Or sometimes they are just a horn-dog that will fuck anyone who asks them.

 

If you truley have moved on with your life and this guy is still contacting you even after you told him not to, then you need to file a restraining order, because as someone said earlier, you could be putting your family's well-being in harm's way.

If you dont have the strength to file a restraining order, then you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself how serious you are about completely removing this guy from your life.

 

I've missed your posts, Jelly. They are always so straightforward and you don't hold anything back - good or bad.

 

:smt091:smt043Seriously, you don't need me, you all are doing a FINE job here!!

Serendipity, oh Serendipity, it's not because it's right, it's because we don't have to live with her after wards, and we are trying to "keep our man". It's irrational, it's emotional, it's stupid, BUT IT WILL HAPPEN!!

So now we should only behave responsibly toward persons whom we know personally or who are pregnant or somehow otherwise deserve our concern? What about the wife who trust's her husband, and who is now being betrayed by him? Doesn't she deserve your pity or concern?

If that were true you would not be bothered by the wife.

SweetAngel, you "moved on" as jellybird pointed out when you married, but it did not stop even then according to your own confession, you have "told" him before, so you have to do more if you really want it to stop, if not don't pretend you do. You see, I don't believe you, I think you like his attention and something down inside you secretly wants him, and you think he will be there for you again while you are "hurting".

I won't say that again, it has been said 3 times to you. Now do you see why I don't believe you are serious about wanting him to leave you alone?

 

You mean Ive made some bad ones?

 

:smt119This thread elicits strong feelings of deja vu in me.

 

No, you haven't made bad posts. You just aren't afraid to tell people how it is, for better or worse on their part. :lol: That's what I meant.

 

Lucifer, I love your avatar!

 

ok tinkerbell, yes i have MOVED ON WITH MY LIFE!!! Yes i have filed harrassment papers to my local police dept. "If that were true you would not be bothered by the wife". His wife still keeps it going even after everything was said and done and you dont know his wife. I DO NOT secretly want him you have no clue about my life!! "Now do you see why I don't believe you are serious about wanting him to leave you alone?" It is okay that you dont believe me because its my life and i chose what happens in it. I chose this man to get out of it and that is that. Gosh i hope you dont help anyone in the real world because it would be ashame to hear your negative comments to really put a person down and not bring them back up !!:smt023

 

I think this is all very easy.
You don't touch someone who is in a relationship. If you do, knowingly, you are a [derogatory term of your choice].
Its that simple.

I can't see any way of taking pity on someone for doing that, if they get harassed for it. If you are that dumb, you had it coming.

Switch phonenbr, email, everything and then stop answering the wife. It was you who did the bad thing here, not her. You can't really blame her at all.
As for the man? Who cares, he is obviously an idiot.

 

i am not asking for pity. I am just stating facts so that people can understand that i was not the one to pursue the relationship and i was just wondering some inputs how i can make it stop!! Yes i was young and nieve when it all started and i was lied to and sometimes i am still lied to throughout the twelve years saying he is no longer with his wife. Mind you those were the times he has called me. He still tries to play the same game like we were seventeen again. i guess what i am saying to people is just not getting through their Thick heads but that is was happens when people are ignorant to the whole facts. Thanks for the comment anyway

 

You still dont get it. Youre not taking responsibilty for your part in this. Yes, you were young and niave...12 YEARS AGO! But even after you found out this guy was a liar, and even while you were married to someone else, you still continued to stay in contact with this guy. Yeah, he kept contacting you, but you kept saying yes and fucking him. Even while you were married to someone else.

Please dont tell me youre the type of girl who cant say no and fucks every guy that asks? Of course not! And please dont tell me that after this guy lied to you the first time, you didnt even consider he might still be lying to you just to have sex with you? Of course you did. But you didnt care. You wanted to fuck him and have him in your life. Even if he was married. Even if you were married. You didnt give a shit.

Which is cool if thats the kind of person you are. Just be woman enough to admit it to yourself and be prepared to deal with the bullshit that comes with fucking another woman's husband. With includes some people thinking and saying a few bad things about you.

 

Oh great, "negative comments". Watch out Tinkerbell, you'll be investigated, or she'll investigate the site again.

 

WOW! Thank you for the name calling:yawinkle:That is very big of you. For your info and everyone else's i have had only two parnters in my life and that was my husband and this guy!! I am very proud of it considering some info i have read on other threads. I am taking responsibility:smt023 I have asked for forgiveness regarding this matter. Yes at one point in my life i wanted this guy in it he was my first love:smt053 Yes i liked being with him. Granted i am done with the games and lying and i want to move on!! My marriage was HELL and it was nice to hear from someone who still cared about me when i was going through a vulnerable time But i am not going to put up with the shit anymore and i have done everything in my power to stop it. I wanted advice NOT JUDGEMENT:smt073 But i guess that is how ignorant people can be and that is why we live in a world that we do but unfortantly i cannot change that so i accept that. everyone is entilted to their own opinions and i am entilted to mine so we will leave it at that!!

 

You are going to be judged everywhere you go, especially on the internet. It doesn't make it right, but people will do it no matter what you say. The situation doesn't matter, if there's room to pass judgment it will happen. Especially on the internet.

People are judgmental pricks a lot of the time.