Some black men will sleep with white women but have no serious relationship?

I was talking with a bm I work with last week. He is married to a bw but he likes ww. He said before he was married he would date or mess around with a ww but not have a serious relationship with one. I thought that sounded ridiculous but he told me it was not so cut and dry because he was raised in the South. I argued that I recently dated a bm who was raised in the South and dates nothing but ww and hopes to marry one.

He is not the first bm I've met that felt this way. What is the reasoning behind this method of thinking? Why date ww at all? I have some theories, but I want to know what all of you think...

 

I think the word "date" is a euphemism for the word "fuck".
Anyway,there are lots of white females like that too.

 

Yes, I was trying not to be so crass. I suppose you're right; I'm looking into a simple sexual situation too much. There are ww who like messing around with bm but wouldn't think of getting serious with one due to racist feelings.

 

I haven't met anyone like this but I hear it all the time on the net. Apparently we're freaks in the bedroom but not wifey material... according to various youtube commenters :|.

 

Yesssss. That's what I was getting at.

 

I think there's a lot of guys out there like this. Like you said, there's also a lot of women only interested in the BBC too though.

It's annoying.

I don't get the logic behind it at all. :smt104

 

It goes both ways which is sad, Reason number 1,234 why I won't have sex with a woman until i'm married.

 

Most, not just much, but most of the white female/black male relationship has historically revolved around preventing black penises from entering white vaginas. Of course, this binary was not entered into with the direct consent of both parties but rather a third party. Any instance of a black man or white woman invoking the desire to have sex with each other, but not deem the other a suitable longterm partner by virtue of the other's "otherness" constitutes a symptom of this pathology established by white men centuries ago.

 

Reason #1: Jesus wants my penis for himself.

 

Yes, unfortunately. This is something I was thinking about recently. A person lets you know early on, and you'll know if you're paying attention, how seriously they take you and where you are on their list of priorities. Whether you're number 1 or number 10, it doesn't mean they're a bad person or a jerk or anything. But YOU better make conclusions ASAP and act accordingly, for your own good.

 

I don't think black men or white women hold the monopoly on this. There are all sorts of people out there who may *play* with this or that type but want to marry another.

And as far as priorities...that's a different topic. Someone just wanting to play with you may indeed treat you as a top priority for the time they are playing. That doesn't necessarily indicate that they are wanting a real relationship.

 

CS, I think much of this depends on where one lives and the level of acceptance of IR dating.

A lot of people would prefer to marry someone that they are less attracted to than upset their parents and siblings and friends. In the South (and even in some Northeast cities, like the outskirts of New York), interracial marriage is just not as accepted as it is in other parts of the country. Those that would be inclined to date interracially (in these kind of communities) fool themselves into believing that their community is right, and they are wrong.

To satisfy their craving for what they REALLY want, people play games instead of face the truth about themselves.

So, instead of developing a real relationship with someone of another ethnicity, you see BM and WW living their lives in secret (secret affairs, "discreet dating," one night stands, etc.). These are sad folks cause they let society choose their mate for them.

I have a friend that lives in a conservative area of northern New Jersey; not too far from New York. He saw an ad from a professional WW that was "happily" married to a WM, but wanted a long term secret affair with a BM. How happy can she be if she is looking for a long term affair with someone that looks nothing like her husband?

Here's the irony: If they both lived just 50 miles to the south (closer to Philadelphia), the two of them would be happily dating out in the open and no one would even blink an eye. They might even be married.

Instead, she's living a lie and he's thinking of taking my advice and (eventually) moving elsewhere (as he can afford to do so).

The BM (in your example) who is attracted to WW is living a similar lie. He sounds like someone that let others pick his wife for him, which is horribly sad.

If you were an independent man that can get along with being away from family and friends, I'd almost advise you to move just as I did with one of my friends. I think you'd find that there are far fewer games played when you live in a community that is more accepting of IR. IT WORKED FOR ME...BIGTIME.

But, women are caregivers and are a lot closer to family. And these are tough economic times. So, moving to a place where IR is a lot more accepted may not be an option for you.

 

When it comes to sex, logic normally is the first thing to go.

 

I don't really understand why not marry the girl who's a freak in bed.. The marriage will be a lot more fun.

And god, toronto, it's nice that you like God and all, but can you stop make those badly covered up misogynistic comments? I don't know your story, but I suppose you were hurt by someone. At some point it might be time to stop letting that grudge go out over the other 3 billion women on the planet?

 

Some Black men will sleep with any woman without a serious relationship.
So would a White man, Hispanic man, Asian man, or any man in general.

 

And some women do the same.. So. Is it just me or is this whole discussion quite redundant?

 

Na there are particular guys who do say that they'd only ever mess with white girls and not be in a relationship with them. I think that's what she meant.

 

Amen to that. Been there done that, don't wanna go there again. You'll be their top priority when they want you then ooops, I'm busy and all sort of excuses that didn't matter before. "you're a good distraction" went to "you're a distraction" and then some in my case.

 

I've been in this situation, which is why I won't be having sex again unless the relationship is serious.