I really need advice

I have been a friend and a lover with a man for 12 years on and off even through my marriage of eight years which i know was a mistake but it happened. whenever i would leave my husband because of abuse i would fall into my friends arms and things would go from there. I have been with my friend ever since i was seventeen. I didnt know from the beginning he was married but eventually on my prom night in high school i found out and that is what steered me away from being in a total relationship with him. A couple of years ago when i got my divorce i ended up pregnate by my friend and lost it and eventually his wife found out and there was a huge argument. I told him i didnt want to see him again but when i just moved back to my hometown in june he has called me alot, come over alot and and told me he has loved me. I want to believe him but it is kinda hard and it still hurts from everytime his wife found out he left me high and dry. Well his wife eventually recently found letters that were being sent back and forth from him and i on a computer program and started another rukus so i backed off so he did not loose his kids but mind you he still calls and tells me he loves me and wants to come over to my place but now it seems like everywhere i turn she is getting her family involved by calling me, harrassing me and sending messages back and forth on the computer. I just dont know what to do from hear i just want to move on with my life but it seems like they still want to get involved in mine.

 

*waits for Tinkerbell's input*

Really, forget the guy.

He is married, what do you expect?

He is a dog for messing his wife around for starters, no wonder her family are harrassing you. If your husband was was sending love letters and got another woman pregnant wouldn't you be pissed off?

I understand perhaps you're expecting something to come between you and the married guy but - if he is sleeping around on his wife, what do you think he'd be like with you if you two ever got into a relationship? I'll be blunt, if he really wanted to be with you he probably would have left his wife by now. He's playing you both. Hell, he may even have other mistresses.

You seem like a nice lady and a loving mother so I'm sure there's someone out there for you.

Change your phone number and e-mail address and try to forget about him.

 

yeah, forget him. Why be with someone married in the first place?
Thats just asking for trouble.

 

Youre kidding, right?

Youve been knowingly fucking and corressponding with this lady's husband (for what sounds like more than a decade) and you cant understand why they are harrassing you because now you want to move on with your life?...like when you moved on with you life before by marrying another man?

Here's some advice...stop bullshitting yourself! You moved back to your home town knowing this guy would contact you. Which is exactly what you wanted, because if you didnt you would have said to yourself, "Im not gonna move back to my home town because I know Im not strong enough to say "no" to this married guy who I know is gonna contact me!"

Stop focusing on their actions and focus on your own! Do you know why? Because dispite the letters and unprotected fucking youve done with her husband, those two are still together. And they are probably gonna be together long after you are out of the picture.

If you are really serious about ending this crap then tell that guy to stop calling you and that you are tell his wife about any contact he makes with you. If that doesnt work file a restraining order. End of story.

 

SweetAngel you are really gonna regret starting this believe me. I wished I had never started that I Need Opinions thread. Now I feel like everyone thinks I'm a freak. I noticed something last night that happened will probably continue. MemmphisGuy was reading the ? Other Memphians, I wanted to see if he was going to suggest anything. I waited & then saw that he was reading the other one for a while. This is gonna happen to me with any guy on here from Memphis, they will read it and avoid me. I was very upset & emotional when I wrote that & said things I normally wouldn't say to people. Now I really regret it & can't delete it. I know I'm too old for MemmphisGuy although he is cute. If I was only younger. But anyway it's gonna happen every time a guy reads it.

 

I guess you could say I dug my own hole now I need someone to push me in & cover me up. But when you're upset & crying you say things sometime without thinking. I thought about not posting on here for a while until that thread gets pushed back & also deleting my pics. But that could take a long time. But I admit it was my mistake & I have to deal with it.

 

Also expect alot of negative & hurtful things to be said to you. That took me by surprise but I need to learn how to not let things like that hurt my feelings. I thought maybe I should change my name from Blueyes to MemphisMostAvoidable. Because I will be avoided by anyone who reads it. But I makes me feel better knowing that I'm not the only one who's found herself in a weird situation & not knowing what to do. But I am sorry you are in that situation. You should email me, I added it to my profile, I don't know why I did. It's not like anyone else is gonna email me.

 

Your "memphis" story aside :smt017, most "what should I do" threads are b-s because the people who start them know what they should do. They are either 1) looking for a place to vent, or 2) looking for a little sympathy because of predicament they have gotten themselves into.

I mean, really?...what sane, logical person doesnt know not to carry on a relationship with someone who is married?

Wait...is this the "sweetangel needs advice" thread or the "blueeyes needs to vent" thread?

 

:smt038

 

hmmm - missed you Jelly!

 

Pretty much. There was a guy I worked with about 10 years ago who went around telling everyone he got an anal fizure (sp). I told him to shut up and keep it to himself, that the people at work are not his friends, they are colleagues. About a year ago i see him again and he says "you remember me?". first thing that pops into my head, "yeah, your the anal fisure guy".

Same principle applies here.

 

Sorry Ive been missing in action. Ive had my hands full "playing" with doritos and WD40.

 

Ahhh!

Thanks for coming out to join us

 

Sorry if I was venting Jellybird. I'll stay out of this & let all of you give advice.

 

No prob.

And I must say, nice avatar! Once again youve outdone yourself.

Im waiting to see what youre gonna do when you run out of "pg" body parts.

 

Aww - thank you!

LOL - I'm creative... I won't ever run out.

 

SweetAngel, this guy is a complete loser. He will say anything to you to get into your pants and have you on the side. Why was a married man having a relationship with a 17 year old in high school??

His family has every right to harass you (although I know it's probably horrible for you) as you are allowing your relationship to continue by letting him come over and exchanging those letters with him. Married men will never leave their wives for a girl on the side. They are scum, liars, and are not worth your time - not another second of it.

As another poster has mentioned even if he did leave his wife - do you want a man like that around - one who will hurt anyone just to get his rocks off? Don't believe his "I love you" because it's pure crap. You deserve a man that is ALL YOURS. You do not need to share.

As another poster mentioned, change your number, lose the email and cut off all ties with this "friend". You deserve so much better!

 

Ok right, this is simple HE HAS A WIFE AND KIDS, and he used you and dropped you before.

What question are you asking sweetangel ? i think the answer is right there for even you to see hun.

But remind yourself that you are not Seventeen anymore! you are a fully fledged adult, the wife is letting you get off light hun, because you are continuing to entertain his advances by sending emails to him and talking to him.
If i was that wife i would kick him out and kick his arse and kick yours aswell.
What about your kid? you need to stop this especially if the family have it out for you, what happens if someone picks on your kid at school saying her mums a whore because they have spread your story around.

What happens if the wife turns up one day not to threaten but to actually kick your arse, what about your daughter then she has to watch more violence.

Get Rid Off Him Quickly!!!
By all mean possible, change your email, phone number tell him everytime he bothers you your gonna write it down and try to get an injunction against him. :smt104

 

I completely agree about getting rid of him. Sweetangel, you need to get him out of your life.

What I will never understand, and I know we already had a whole discussion on it, is why the wife and wives of cheating husbands in general go after the woman. Kick your husband's ass, he's the one that lied to you and had the most to risk and lose. If I were married and found out my husband was cheating I'd kick his sorry ass to the curb. I definitely wouldn't go after the woman UNLESS it was a friend of mine or someone I knew and knew me.

 

I don't have a problem with the women that are genuinely fooled by men who say they are single, but serendipity there ARE women out there who make it there buisness to seek attached men.

Look at sweetangel here (sorry sweetangel) she lacks respect for herself and others, she knows he has a wife but yet she chooses to participate in this heartbreak for the wife and mother of his children.

I have been in this situation serendipity, i got rid of mine, but!! i was angered with the woman that had an affair with my husband as she knew he had a pregnant wife and small child! before she got to sleeping with him (she called and told me herself)
If i had not been pregnant i would have sought out that bitch and kicked her arse just for her sheer nastiness, she was a cunt and so was he, he did not want her, when i finished with him he did not even get with her.
Just because they aren't married does not make them not accountable in certain situations, when a woman goes out of her way to be a problem to a marriage yeah she is partly to blame.

So be realistic about the shit you will get, but no ass whooping for women who are taken in by the man, but any self respecting woman when she finds out the truth will make a graceful exit on to greener pastures