Playa Talk

A gal I know on the net was recently on dating sites. She was talking about the men who send messages and how she considers certain things they say to be "playa talk"

Things like:

Hey baby, Hey Sexy, Hi Gorgeous, Pretty, etc They might be constantly saying baby, boo, sweetie, honey, etc. Or maybe they bring up things like how they want to have a baby with you (WTF is that deal anyway?!)

She was going on about how she feels when they do this that it's an indicator of being a player. I said I think it depends on the person and the situation.

I was going to stick this in the Ladies area because I know it's been mentioned here and there at times. But I thought it would be better to stick it in the conversation area so that we could get more input from men.

So what's your take on what is or what is not player talk? Not just on the net, out in life - dating etc too.

 

Do you think they are serious about that? How would they know they want to reproduce with her if they've just been hanging out online?

 

Depends on the context. I love such terms of endearment if they're in moderation and in good taste. What are men for if not to brighten our day by calling us these nice names?:smt049

 

Yah I think I should clarify this one - sometimes that may come after a few dates too. It just seems off to me when men say that and think it's going to really entice a woman. But maybe it's working for them.

 

Thanks KnCA, that makes more sense to this under-caffeinated brain of mine, lol.

As for terms of endearment I admit, I love to use them with my loved ones and I enjoy hearing them if said with sincerity. :smt049

 

Personally I don't trust a guy that is Hi Gorgeous, sexy etc. right off the bat. I mean you can tell the girl you think she's pretty or whatever but the way some men go about the "compliments" it doesn't come across as sincere. I like those kind of things in moderation and only when I've been out with the man not when they don't know jack shit about me.

About the having a baby, that's just plain weird if you ask me. Why would a man think that would make a woman want to be with him ? or want him more. Something like that would have me running the other way. I'd end the correspondence with the man right there and then. Well after I'd ask him why he'd want to that is - LOL

 

Men who say "Hey sexy" do so because they are not players.

 

???

So does that mean the Players don't say those types of things?

 

I'm never complimenting a woman again. :-(

 

Don't do that! I think the big thing is if it comes across as genuine or not.

 

Hey, that's not fair..... We shouldn't all suffer because of some weird idiots that can't respect us... Please don't stop... not ever....

 

How can she tell if it's genuine or not?

 

I don't think you have anything to worry about J

 

Don't say stuff that you don't know is true, make sure you know her well enough to give her a genuine complement, other wise it flattery.

 

you know i have to chime in here on this one...half the time when a man uses these names it's because he can't remember your real name...LMFAO...
personally i love this kind of chat when it's with someone i am crushing on...as far as the "wanna have a baby with you" kind of guys...i have personal experience with this type of man...more than likely love addiction trying to see how far a woman will go to make him happy...some women automatically assume that if a man says he wants to have a baby with you the ring is on the way and she is picking out china patterns and planning their life together...way ahead of schedule...

the most fun you can have with this type if it all comes too early is get intellectual on them and discuss family health history...ask them to reveal their financial situation and start looking for a new house...they will be gone so fast you won't even have time to call a real estate agent

 

I use terms of endearment: baby, honey, doll, shoog, etc. I talk to children and those that I think are sweet this way. So does that make me a playa since I use those words often in general?

 

No, just makes you southern.
jk, jk.

 

Lol! This is true! You are cute as a button!

 

LOL I had one contact me and come on really strong and then disappear for a few months, show back up and he was going on and on about how 2009 would be OUR year...yep he couldn't even remember my name! um NEXT!

Interesting comments. It does seem to be addictive type of behavior. I think your suggestions are really good ones!

 

Nah

My take on it is that it depends on the intent.