race and family

I don't accept racism from anyone in my life and would be quick to even cut off my own mother if she gave voice to such sentiments.

 

way to beautiful for hate csbean

besides csbean your way too beautiful to let the stress and hate get to you just let it wash it over u like cold water, and keep steppin, much luv and peace be with u

 

I understand how exactly you feel! When i first meant my ex-husband who is a BM my dad was not happy. He grew up as a country boy who's father didnt like black individuals so he had the same beliefs. Also he believed that mixing races was not acceptable. I didnt give up dating my exhusband though just because of that, eventually i married him and my father accepted him. He saw that i was happy. When things took the worse when my ex use to physically abuse me then he started not to like him and stood strong by his beliefs again. I had a mixed race child and my dad loves him as his grandson regardless of his race.

I feel there are ignorant idividuals out there and people just dont understand that we are all the same and humans we are not different, and they make selfish remarks about people that they do not even know because it supposly makes them feel better but really it just makes the person who makes them look ignorant.

You just have to learn you cannot change anybody that have their beliefs, you just have to ignore them and go on with your life. If you are happy then that is all that matters.

 

My family never cared about who I dated. They know I date interracially and it's not a problem with them

 

And that's why you're such an overall sweetheart! You come from a sweetheart family! I want to give you ALL a big squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze!:smt114

 

I wouldn't say my mom is racist but she does have race issues and has said things that I think were borderline racist and it pisses me off every time. When I point out that her comment is racist she gets very defensive and usually there's an argument that stirs up from that. I should point out that she hasn't and would never say such comments in mixed company, so to speak, but even to me, it just upsets me, I can't stand to hear talk like that from anyone family or not and don't tolerate it.

As for my extended family, I don't think they're racist but I know if / when I bring a black man to meet the family, eyebrows would be raised and there would certainly be comments made behind my back just because no one in my family has dated or married interracially.

Personally, that is a big hurdle for me to pass but I am finally in a place in my life and within myself where I am more secure and will do what it is that makes me happy and content and not try to please everyone else around me.

 

Sometimes one has to cut ties with their family to be who they are destined to be. What's best for me and my wife / kids (if I'm blessed with a 2nd opportunity) will always be my paramount focus. I choose my wife, I do not choose my parents. That being said, I will choose who makes me happy and if my parents do not support that decision, then their LOVE for me (their own flesh and blood) is obviously not as important to them as their HATE for those who they have not even met, due to them being born of different skin.

Do not allow yourself to become a victim to their foolishness.

 

Some people will hate on you no matter who you date. If it wasn't a racial issue they would say something else to cut them down. Maybe they would say the person is to tall, too short, too fat, isn't in the same class as you or some other crap.

In my family I have always been told do what makes you happy within in reason. I mean if I and dating a white woman and that is the only reason that they don't like her that is not a reason for me to stop dating her. If they suspect she is cheating, lying or doing something serious like that then thats when I pay attention.

Like other people have said sometimes you have to cut others off, even your own family, to be happy and be with who you want. If they don't want to deal with you because who you are dating, fine let them go. If race and no other issue is the reason that they don't want to deal with you and your spouse they never really were in your corner to begin with.
It sucks but its better to let people like that go as soon as you can because they will eventually drag you down if you let them.

 

Imagine being 36 and single. At this point I've become immune to all the comments. I used to care but I don't give a fuck anymore.

 

Hear Hear! I was heavily pressured by my family to get married. Now that they've seen me go through a divorce, they know better than to mention marriage to me again, lol.

 

*hugs Moskvichka back*

 

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