An innocent question?

I am really quite naive when it comes to racism so I have a question.

I would never use the "N" word in reference to anyone, but I hear a shortened version being thrown about like it was a complement sometimes amongst black people and even some non blacks seem to use it comfortably when teasing or playing around with black friends.

So, I'm confused, is there really a difference when it sounds the same, just cuz someone changes the "er" to an "a"?

When if ever is it appropriate and not offensive?

 

"er"- is a no no. It is used as dragatory form by members of other race.

"a"- used mostly by blacks. It means, you are my home boy, homie, buddy, boy, man etc...

In today's hip hop culture, the "a" can be used by anyone: white, black, latino, asian

 

Thank you zorro, so hearing a latino kid calling a black kid this is acceptable if it is in keeping with the "hip hop" culture? But someone outside of that culture should probably not say it right?

 

It's never appropriate nor not appropriate to say. It's not who says what, it's who is listening.

How offensive anything is will be determined more by the people hearing it than by who says it. Some things don't offend some people; the same things can greatly offend others.

I don't easily get offended, so I try to surround myself with people who are similar, because due to my not getting offended by a lot of things I tend to say things that could easily be offensive to other people. So I keep myself in check when dealing with new people until I know they won't get offended at some of my jokes or language. The only time I don't watch myself when meeting new people is online. Online I'm myself all the time. I censor myself far more in person. It's just polite.

 

A latino or a white kid can call a black kid my "a" or vice versa.
Infact, a white kid can call another white kid my "a" with in that culture.

 

That was my take on either word DH, but I hear the younger generation saying the "a" so much it shocks me! I've tried to say something, and I get told they're not "offending anyone" it's just their "hommie" and that sort of thing, so that's why I asked, if it isn't being offensive to them then I'm cool but if they are really offending them I'd like to know.

Gotcha, so a kid who is within that culture, is cool only saying it to another kid within that culture, but to say it to, say a black person who is not a part of that culture would be offensive? (as in an older person, or someone from another country?)

 

They're basically saying it to people they know are ok with it. It's just like swearing. Cussing in front of people who don't like it can cause problems. Calling the wrong person "nigga" can cause problems. Calling the wrong person -anything- can cause problems. It's really just dependent on who you're talking to as to whether it's ok or not. There's no definitive answer to anything involving other people's feelings, because not everyone feels the same way. And you can't just say "well, it's ok within the hip-hop culture" because it's not always ok.

There is no real answer to your question, because there are too many variables when it comes to offending other people. Some people are gonna get offended at everything, some are never going to get offended, and all shades of gray in between the two extremes. It really just comes down to the person you're talking to, which is why it's always best to feel someone out before using terms which may be offensive to them.

 

Something like that.

A black person who is from Africa, latin america, and the islands would not be familliar with the word "a" unless they were watching MTV, BET etc..

A teeneager or 20 something can't use the word "a" to an older black american, unless that older individual is down with the culture and jiggyin' with it.

But I have seen a 50 yo blk guy using my "a" to his buddy, who I would say in the same age group as him.

 

no one can call me the er or a because i'm none of the above

 

Thank you both, you've been very helpful and I would never feel comfortable using either word, any more than I use the "f" word when I speak, but I don't get upset hearing it in certain circles and groups because I know it doesn't mean anything specially offensive most of the time.

I guess, I'll just consider this another type of swear word, and treat it accordingly.

Yes, DH, you are absolutely right about some people getting offended at everything and others at nothing, I'm much more like you, in that I don't offend easily, but I do tend to offend others more than I know somehow. I'll probably be working on that till the day I die!! LOL!!

 

For my white ladies: if you aren't absolutely sure it's ok...don't use it....even if you do...be careful about using it around friends in public because a not so friendly militant patterned after yours truly might start some conflict over its' usage.

 

I can only say words are only meant to convey a meaning, this delivery is subject to interruption...therefore, your proposed meaning may be understood or missinterrupted...with the knowledge of this fact, the use of any word like Nigga/Nigger (which honestly I dont think there is a real difference just that the pronunciation is slightly different probably only because of differing dialects) will have a definitive consensus of approved use...Just like I can call someone a punk but really they know I am calling them friend, or I can call someone buddy but really I am saying they are an asshole...Take it from a black guy that grew up in the hate, if you are white you are probably just better off not saying it at all, out the possibility that the meaning you are conveying must enduring several layers of interruptation...I would say about 20 percent of the guys I grew up with, were just sitting back waiting for a white guy to call them a nigga just to give them an excuse to kick their azz...and I would say about 70 percent would say in the back of their mind you are being ignorant b/c no matter how cool you think you might be, you are still not cool or black enough to say it to a black person b/c you are not respecting the history of the word....the rest of the 10 percent is probably just lost

 

Everybody says "nigga". I hear white kids say it to each other all the time. I do remember one time riding the city bus when a Puerto Rican dude said "nigga" to his black friend, and all the black people looked straight at him :smt107. But the dude said sorry and his friend didn't seem offended anyways, so no one got beat the beat the fuck up, as Dave Chappelle said lol

 

I think the difference is in who says it. If its black people among black people its acceptable and not seen as racist but if a white person says it it takes on a whole different meaning and understandably so.

I find the word offensive no matter who I hear using it but the rap/hip hop culture made it OK to say.

 

Exactly, it depends who you're talking to. Its like if I'm talking to a male friend of mine and call him a dick he knows I'm kidding, and its sort of like a term of endearment but if I call a man I don't know well and doesn't know me, a dick he'll take it as an insult.

 

Not necessarily. I mean, some black people despise the word, so even if another black person said it, it still would offend them. Perhaps not as much as if a person of another race said it,but it would still bother them.

My thing is...words only have power if you allow them to. In the end, words are just words. But when words are percieved either negatively or positively, that's when they have meaning, that's when they have weight. There are words that bother me greatly...and others that used to bother me, but I don't let them get to me anymore. I may never be able to remove the power from all the words that get under my skin, because it's a long and arduous process, but I'm working on it. It's all about the perception. If we allow words to bother us, they will. But if we can realize that words are only going to get us when they let us, then we can see them for exactly what they are: words, and words only. Nothing more. The problem is that some words elicit such emotional responses that they become hard to ignore, and it becomes difficult not to give them the power others want us to.

It's just like when someone is antagonizing you. If you can allow yourself to realize that the things they say or do are only words and actions (not talking about actual violence, of course. Different level) then it won't bother you as badly. It's just very, very difficult to do, because emotions are very complicated things.

 

I didn't mean all black people use it and would not be offended by it. Ofcourse there are those that despise the word as well they should. I completely agree that words only have power if you allow them to and I think with the N word being used by black people its a way to take the word back and take the power out of it.

 

Me personally,i dont like when latinos use it(especially latinos with little,to no black ancestry)

 

We also hope you of all people don't use it or else some of us would look at you as a fake much like we look at the southern Baptist minister who smokes after service is over....

Personally I have no issues with the word or who uses it, if you are offended by it, to me you are giving the word power. The word does not pay your bills, takes you on vacation, or makes your child better when he or she is sick. It's just a word.

 

I don't hear it a lot over here. I don't use it and cringe when white peeps use it.
Meh, everyone's different.