This is very sad

Discussion in 'Conversations Between White Women and Black Men' started by maghalil, Dec 23, 2008.

  1. Ronja

    Ronja New Member

    Maghalil, I appreciate what we're saying, and you are right: this does happen. Of course it's going to be more common with men from some countries than others. If an African is not "lucky" enough to be from one of the few extremely fucked up countries that'll almost certainly give a refugee status, coming to Europe can be virtually impossible any other way.

    Even those who study here, are not guaranteed jobs afterwards, and if they don't get a job they'll have to leave. That being said: some does choose to study things, that will surely not give them a job here afterwards and they've obviously not checked which professions are in high demand AND in businesses which are "colour blind". (Here, in reality, only medicine/dentistry/nursing and natural sciences/engineering will give you a job after studying.)

    As you know, I strongly believe anyone should have the right to try to make a better life for themself, as long as they don't harm others in the process. As the immigration laws are right now, I honestly don't blame Africans, or any other, for marrying to get a visa. However, I too feel terrible for the women to whom it happens, and I pray with all my heart it will never happen to me, and that I am right when I believe hb truly loves me. Also, I despise the men who impregnate the women, and abandon the children. Even if they only married for the visa, there's no excuse for bringing children into this world if they don't plan on taking care of them and staying with their mother.

    I don't speak any African languages, and I don't know what African men talk about when I'm not around, so you might have a better understanding than I do, of how big this problem is. However, as you know, I know several women who are married to, and have children with, Africans. And based on what I see and what they say, I make a slightly different conclusion than you:
    Yes, it does happen! A lot! African men will go out an "hunt" for ww to get a visa. However, I do believe the majority also look for a life partner. So it's not just the visa, it's both. The whole "package". You might wonder why I think so, I'll tell you: most couples I know actually do stay together long after the man has gotten his resident's permit (which is 3 years here). In most cases they're even together after he's gotten a citizenship (7 years). And those who get divorced soon after he's got the resident's permit(shortly after 3 years), are couples who have had problems for a long time, but who have stayed together for the required time because of the children. But, children or no children, I know more who have divorced before the required period, than who have gotten divorced shortly after. And that sort of tells me most of the men did not marry the women to get a visa (not exclusively anyway), cause then they'd hold on for the 3 years instead of divorcing and thus taking the risk of having to go back.

    OK, that seemed to come out a bit unorganized, and might be confusing to read. To say it simpler: most couples I know, with an African man, either have long, seemingly happy marriages, or they get divorced quickly as hell, long before he has a resident's permit...

    Speaking for myself and hb:
    Do I ever worry that he only wanted me for a visa: Of course!
    Do I believe he only wanted me for a visa: absolutely not!
    Do I believe he took that into consideration though: probably...

    If he were to write an honest pro-con list about me, I wouldn't be surprised if I saw "visa" on the pro-list. I wouldn't be insulted by it at all, unless that was the ONLY thing on the pro-list. I think most people don't just fall in love with a person, but the whole "package" of things that person can offer. I happen to come with a visa...
    He happens to come with a lot of education and a high probability of making a lot of money in a not to distant future. I'd definitely put that on my pro-list. That doesn't mean that's the only reason I wanted him either...

    :D
     
  2. Moskvichka

    Moskvichka New Member

    In my experience as an immigration paralegal, I see a lot of clients come in who are contemplating a green card marriage. They JUST NEED A CITIZEN WIFE. She doesn't have to be white... or pretty for that matter. If it's a business deal, it's a business deal. They sit in the chair in front of the senior partner, and calmly discuss options with him, with a serious face.

    I had a dear Jamaican gentleman come in the other day with his lady cousin. He really has no options other than marriage. He's a plain-looking man in his forties, and he's very nice. The cousin said, Now he wants to get married. I said, who's the lucky lady? :D They smiled and said, we don't know yet.

    Such people don't usually scam women. They either really get married (good for them), or it's a straight up business deal between the two.

    Ronja is right: they would prefer the whole package.:smt057
     
  3. Moskvichka

    Moskvichka New Member

    I don't know about Europe, but here in the U.S. you can still get a green card :cool: even if you divorce :smt084 before the three years are up, as long as you prove that you got married in good faith.:smt057
     
  4. fromdc_withlove

    fromdc_withlove New Member

    I'll take a guess at what was written in the article:

    Elderly Swedish (and other European) women go vacationing to try getting their grooves back with young Maasai dudes......who already know the ladies' agendas and proceed to lay some serious pipe on these female tourists......who in turn show their appreciation by giving cash and/or gifts (if not the goats themselves) to the Maasai brethren......who in turn purchase the goats accordingly.

    Did I capture the gist?

    Now for the not-so-funny part: anyone here ever had goat meat? Don't sleep.......sh*t's da bomb!! I'd give a touring lady some lovin' myself for that...
     
  5. Ronja

    Ronja New Member

    You can still get it here as well, but it's not likely, unless you've got children AND a fairly good job. I know good fathers who had to leave their children behind when the marriage ended, knowing they'll probably not see them again until they're grown ups (when their mums are very angry and bitter).:( That's why many slightly more well functioning couples stick together until the 3 years are due.

    The rules will vary from one country to another btw...

    Of topic: the 3 years is a problem to other groups as well btw. It's not uncommon that men who have mail-order brides, are abusive. Often that's why they have to get a mail-order bride, as the local women leave them quickly. Many women have been forced to move back to their home country if they can't take more abuse before 3 years have passed.
     
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2008
  6. tonytony

    tonytony New Member


    Maghalil I will go on the record and call you an asshole.
    Arent you the same dickbag who compared being black to being gay?

    your posts are constantly insulting to black men and you come across as an idiot.

    Wake up and smell the roses people use people for different things and that is not defined by gender or race. Alot of these women go after these guys and know that they are at a disadvantage position and use thier purchasing power to entice them and these guys are all to willing to oblige but these women know that.

    you should also know in my time I have met bw, but also oriental and eastern european women who have used men to get there papers too. This stuff happens all the time, its just that when bm do anything its scrutinised and exaggerated by fuckfaces like you.
     
  7. maghalil

    maghalil Member

    Hey Tonytony ,

    Thanks for replying to an idiot , it makes you even worst than an idiot...

    Who are you to tell me what i should discuss or not , listen man stop and please stop right now coming after my posts , i do not know you ... you do not know me... so please back off.

    I bet you one of these racist , sexiest , abusive , selfish black guys who think black people are always right and victims. If today Africa is in this chaos , it mainly
    because of people like you with very little notion of introspection, and blame everything on white people. No body in this forum has denied the fact that this marriage scam exist , so what point are you trying to make ? in what country/world are you leaving ? do you have a heart ? sorry i won't insult you even though you called me an asshole , i have been thought otherwise by my parents. So i understand were you coming from , by reading all your replies.

    I am starting to be suspicious about you , believe me i will post more of these kind of posts... This is the best i can do to protect people i love. I do not think you can tell me anything about black people. My dad , mom , brothers, families and most of my friends are blacks, i speak about than 10 African languages plus 3 European ones , i know what Ubuntu is ... as i am a born Muntu , trust me . I do not regret putting this post here , and i know it might help some women visiting this site who aren't aware of this.

    Please do not go out of topic , everyone know that people get hurt in many ways , i am raising an issue that i came across as an African in Europe. So why are you guys always defensive? Even when something is wrong... You really sound like this people i can't mention the name here :D Trust me as long you will never be willing to recognize your mistakes and correct them, you will never gain respect from anyone.

    Good advice , better keep quiet if you have nothing to say.:smt025

     
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2008
  8. z

    z Well-Known Member

    Agreed. Merry Xmas!
     
  9. z

    z Well-Known Member

    Logical post. I could not said it better.
     
  10. Soulthinker

    Soulthinker Well-Known Member

    Scylla,don't let hypocrites in the African community get you down. They are not giving you Krone for your needs and just wanted a harem of Swedish girls. Plus those guys should clean THEIR houses.
     
  11. Soulthinker

    Soulthinker Well-Known Member

    M,if the marriage is not in good faith could the guy's green card be revoked? If not it is a sad system in the US.
     
  12. scylla

    scylla New Member

    I can understand that yes, they are desperate and wants to get out of there.
    But what bugs me is that someone will get their hearts completely broken in the process.
    If they would be like the guy who offered me to be the perfect lover.. He was a really sweet and good person, then it would feel ok. But when it's a guy who would treat the woman like shyte.. well then it's different- I can respect these arrangements when they are done with respect.
    It's a tough question because everyone is worthy a good life, undependent of how they behave (with the usuall exception, sex-crime and such).
    I don't defend women who go travelling down to africa to buy sex, and I don't respect men who call me a slut just because I'm white. But I would respect someone who really wants to get out of their country and does whatever it takes (almost) to do it.. as long as they don't disrespect the person who helps them..

    A bit confused there, hope you understood.
     
  13. scylla

    scylla New Member

    lol.. all true. Thankfully there's loads of good people around aswell.
     
  14. maghalil

    maghalil Member

    No worries green zorro ,

    I will see if i can get the webmaster to delete this thread...



     
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2008
  15. Moskvichka

    Moskvichka New Member

    :D Yeah delete my posts on this thread too... in fact delete all my posts on this forum... I don't want any burning crosses on my lawn.
     
  16. z

    z Well-Known Member

    ha ha, just taking precautions!
     
  17. scylla

    scylla New Member

    why should we shy away from discussing issues in our own subculture?
    Should we let the ayran brotherhood, neo-nazis and so on win? Because thats what they do, if we govern what we say just because they exist.
    :/
    I dont like the idea at all.
     
  18. LUCIFERMORNINGSTAR

    LUCIFERMORNINGSTAR New Member

    [​IMG]
     
  19. Moskvichka

    Moskvichka New Member

    Exactly. The fact that the topic is not as entertaining as some others you see on this forum:D doesn't mean that it's not a problem that requires awareness.
     
  20. scylla

    scylla New Member

    CO-SIGN
     

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