Regional differences with IR dating.

Long time listener, long time caller....also a long time ranter.


It seems to me that some of the comments here come from a radically different place from my own reality and I often question the intention. What I mean is that some people place a heavy emphasis on pointing out the obvious differences between black and white. Some of the discussions talk about the overt racism that is encountered with IR dating.

I am taken aback by the perception that some people have and I wonder if the difference in the take on IR dating is really a regional thing (yes and yes). I have always lived in California. I was in southern CA from age 4 to 24 and I have been in San Francisco since 2004. In CA I see IR couples all of the time and for the most part things are easy. I have never met an overt racism or negativity from others. I have met the parents of girls I have dated many times and things always go off without a hitch. In fact I have been the good guy ex bf a few times, the guy that the parents constantly refer to; "what ever happened to _____, he was very nice!"

My take has always been that people are people and thats that, you find love where you can. I have never been one to be about "omg white girls! so precious, forget all other women!" And my other black friends who date white or other are in the same boat. People are people.

So i guess the point of the post is this; to those of you who have lived in other places as an adult how do other places compare? I have heard that NYC is tough to crack. I have heard that a lot of IR dating in the south happens but in a schizophrenic manner, as in it happens but there is a conflicting social code that is not unlike our take on sex ans sexuality in relation to our puritanical roots, oversexed but trying hard to deem it dirty.

 

I'm from West Virginia.

That should say enough!

Opinions on everything vary vastly region to region. Chances are the more conservative the state (or city, or town, or village, whathaveyou) is, the less accepting people will be of anything deviating from the norm (their norm, of course).

It was a big deal when I "came out" to my parents about my boyfriend, and we'd been together about 9 months when they finally found out he was black. It's still something being discussed on the various branches of my family tree, and it's news that is more often than not less than well received.

But that's in West Virginia.

In Houston it doesn't seem to be a big deal, though there was this black guy giving me the most horrible looks just the other day because I had my arm linked with my boyfriend's. I didn't bother asking him why, but I can only assume. Maybe he just thought my shoes were ugly (hah, fat chance), but something in his expression gave me the impression he was mildly revolted at seeing me and my boyfriend together.

Most of the time the only flak I catch from it is from back home and on this message board.

 

Well I'm from southern california orginally. And I barely see any IR relationships in the OC, L.A, nor San Diego; and California is a liberal state. My cousin has seen more IR in the south than California.

 

I'm in tallahassee ,Fl . here is what I can tell you about that situtation. there are a lot of interrical couples here but most i the college age range. Its still look at and frowned upon but not as in the open.

Ill put it to you this way. About two years ago , I lost a bet to a female friend who was white. It was a Miami vs Florida State football game. Well the bet was she would either give me $50 or I take her on a dinner with that value or above.

Now part of what happened to me might ahve been because this girl was like a 9 or ten on the babe meter. But let me emphise we were just friends and no attraction form my part .

Heres what happened. I lost the bet and too her to a average resturant. Nothing special or anything like that. Nothing that expensive. Well let me tell you what happened next.

While she was teasing me, a table of older black women were looking at us with this look of disdain and almost scorn.. The table to the right of them with a guy and a lady was looking at us with envy and scorn as well. In fact it seemed like the waitress was the only nice one to us there and she was hitting on me in front of the girl .lolllolo..

I didnt care and even my friend wanted to mess around with the folks and give me a fake kiss on the lipps but I said its their problem "f" them and their hating"A's" .

Anyway not all of the city is like that. There are a lot of interrical couples here and the attitude is on a whole good here. But man o man did I get a wake-up call that day on how interrical relationships are still look at by the older generations .

 

it's widely accepted, and practiced here in san antonio

 

No IR couples in SoCal??

First off, you live in orange county.

Not sure what part of O.C but, the demographic is very white and latino. There are some asians and pretty much no blacks.

Los Angeles has tons of IR couples. I see one almost everytime I go somewhere. Doesn't matter if its West LA, East or South.

 

Here in Sweden, I see a lot of IR couples in terms of BW/WW, not in terms of arab/ww though, but still some.

I dated a guy before from cameroon, and the thing that made me not tell my mother wasn't that he was black (she couldn't care less), but the fact that he was a fugitive with very bad swedish. Also that he was religious, since none in my family is. She would have a hard time accepting him, because of the cultural thing.

Here the problem lies more in the fact of cultural differences then skin color. I dated a guy from tunisia as well for a while, and she (mum) was worried when I told her, before I explained that he grew up in sweden and wasn't that religious.

The most racist stuff I heard is from african guys talking about the swedish chicks that go to the same clubs as them, because the guys feel objectified. Otherwhise, I feel nobody cares that much. And I'm grateful for that.

 

I live in the bay area in northern california. There are a lot of interracial couples but there are still a lot of people who stare when they see one. I guess thats a problem no matter where you live though. Some people care more about who they see other people with than taking care of their own situation.

 

Perhaps the further away you get from the "old south" it gets better. I don't really know, I just know I live in Southern Arizona, and we don't really have a problem with it. I see IR couples all the time. In Tucson or Nogales you may find more racism against blacks due to the large Hispanic population, but it's not so much an IR factor as it is just pure racism, IMO.