How important is it to you to date a similar faith??

Don't really care if the person is religious. Just not hella religious and makes me go to church. I don't do church. I would rather not deal with the religious issue at all.

 

It's very important to me only Christian or Messianic Jew

 

and why, Elklodge? are you a very religious person and you think a muslim or hindu wouldnt understand your religion?

 

I dated a muslim guy once and when it came round to ramadan for about 6 weeks we couldnt have sex or anything intimate because we wasnt married, Does your boyfriend uphold this muslim tradition which should be for the whole year not just 6 weeks buts adapted to just ramadan to fit in with modern life, because to be honest it put a strain on our relationship as im quite fond of sex lol. And general affection off course

 

Well, we are together for only 2 months, have been talking for half a year before. 1 week after we kissed for the first time ramadan started and yes, there was no kissing or other stuff. It was hard, yes, but I found it quite nice that he wanted to see me 3 times a week for talking and taking walks, for it showed me that he was really interested in my heart and brain as well as in my other more prominent features. :lol:
There was one day off (they can pay for it or repeat the day later in the year) which we spent kissing in the park like we never kissed anyone before, so sweet.
But he likes to drink wine and does not pray 5 times a day. and as to sex before marriage; I could not have a bf who does not love me physically as well. I could not live with that, no kissing, touching, kidding around naked etc.
the man must be tested before marriage! For if everything is good it is supposed to last forever ( I know I am being optimistic here) and there is no forever with me without a good sexlife. ;-)

 

He sounds very nice honey especialy as he took the day for you and was willing to put himself out and repeat it.

He sounds like his willing to adapt with you and in my opinion you cant argue with that.

 

The same goes for me. Everyone is entitiled for their own personal requirements-but this is mine also. (and I found Him already)!

 

And still I would like to know why? I respect that. I ask out of interest. What are the reasons for that wish? and congrats you found him. ;-)

francie, yes, he is very nice and he makes affords to be a very good man for me (he is already or I would not have taken him, but I see that he is thinking about how he can make me happy which is nice. ;-) )

He is adapting and me as well. He was very relieved/happy when he saw that I did not try to disturb his ramadan by trying to make him kiss me or something like that.
There is a lot of respect from both of us, otherwise it could not work, our cultural and religious backgrounds differ so much. But we have a similiar atitude towards life and a similiar educational background. ;-) * drawing little hearts* :mrgreen:

 

I think the most important thing is not having the same faith, but being enough tolerant and acceptable to your man\woman faith. cause if God made two people of different faith to meet each other and be together, it probably had a reason...God maybe wanted them to change some of their opinions, cause being in a relationship is always about mutual changes and concessions.

 

The religion of the person doesn't bother me. The mentality of the person does. It is important to me to be with someone who is openminded about religion, despite their own personal beliefs, and who can respect my own beliefs which lean more toward Agnosticism than anything else. I don't impose my religious beliefs on others, and if a man can respect me enough not to force his on me then we're cool. I don't mind going to church, or participating, or whatever, because I respect the religion of whoever I'm with. But if they can't be as open minded as me, then it wouldn't work out.

 

thats what I thought you would answer, dh. ;-)

 

It is important to me that he is also Muslim. I think it would be incrediably sad to have to go to masjid services by myself. And a wife and husband praying together, fasting together, making hajj together is very beautiful. I couldnt imagine how it would feel to take part in these things by myself.

 

Im sure a shared faith would be a truly beautiful thing especially the way you put it Fly girl

 

this is a beautiful point of view.

 

Cause I'm awesome that way! Besides, I always feel like I'm saying the same thing on here. *L* Just worded differently and applied to different situations. It's pretty easy to tell how I feel about stuff like this...it's all about respect and open-mindedness!

 

I believe that if two people are going to share their life, everyday together, they plan to have children, and celebrate holidays and make traditions in their family, it is very important to have a very similar faith. I don't think they need to agree on every detail, but if one is Muslim and one is Christian, then how would they celebrate the holidays, weddings, and teach their children about God/Allah/Jesus? There would be a lot of confusion. These two religions are very different. If they were Wicka/Christian for example, or Atheist/Muslim, or Budist/Christian. All of these combinations are a potential disaster. If however they were Catholic/Orthodox, or Baptist/Pentecostal, there may be large differences but the basics of the faith are the same, and I think it is doable.

I absolutely need to know that my man is a leader and can be a leader spiritually for my family. I would have to know that I could agree with him and learn from him, and that he would be open to my ideas, and beliefs.

 

More conservative religions tend to be less tolerant of any outsiders. For example, when a Catholic and Orthodox get married, both churches traditionally agree that the Orthodox rite marriage ceremony should take place, because the Orthodox Church only allows that, and the Catholic Church is okay with it. But I don't think it makes sense. The wedding should take place in the husband's church. A friend of mine from church was born a Polish Catholic, and she married a Czech Orthodox. She became Orthodox! And if I marry a Catholic man I'm marrying him in a Catholic church, and I'm raising the kids Catholic. Whether the little brats like it or not. I don't see myself marrying a Protestant/Evangelical or a non-Christian... too different.

 

To me, it doesn't matter if you can both accept and respect each other's differences. I think if you can be in an interracial relationship, what's so different with an inter-faith relationship too? My man and I are kind of up in the air though right now. Sometimes I say we're together and sometimes I say we're not. I've known him since I was 14 and we've been together ever since. We were both mostly Christians in our younger days. Then I started leaning more towards New Age spirituality. Then not so long ago he decided he wants to be Muslim, now he's Muslim. And we're "on the rocks" because I'm not Muslim and I'm not planning to become Muslim so he says that it's against his beliefs to marry me now because I'm a non-believer. Which made me feel incredibly hurt and betrayed and just blindsighted because we've been wanting to be married and start a family for so many years and he slaps me with this. I told him how I felt, that I don't understand how he can just suddenly decide to become Muslim and choose a religion that's against marrying me because I'm not Muslim. He told me stop being so negative and sound like my world's coming to an end and that all is doomed. Trying to reassure me that we'll work through it together. Telling me that "Things are not as gray and gloomy as you cause yourself to believe they are. We are a team and it's like we have been walking hand in hand for many years and you have been guiding me and helping me to be a better person and just because I have found what has lead me to be what you knew was in me all along, doesn't mean that I am gonna let your hand go now." Telling me, "I love you Brittney, with a love that abounds all others. Don't worry yourself so much about things that can be overcome. We made it through a lot worse situations, we shall make it through this as well.!. together." I hope he's right...

 

Britty, muslim man are allowed to mary jewish and christian women, as these are "book religions" too. They cannot marry hindu or buddhist woman.

Other way round; muslime girls are not allowed to marry christians or jews, for they believe that the man is the spiritual leader of the family and the women would live with his non-muslime-family and covert sooner or later.
A friend of mine fell in love with a christian and he converted for her, now they are married.

Tinkerbell, I think you have to have a similiar ideas about raisng interreligious kids. One should talk about that befor children come.
I think you can have all the celebrations, they dont contradict each other.

You can have bayram in december, than christmas and new year and easter and later on its ramadan and eid al fitr and so.
I think a child can learn a lot from that; there are always more options even to stuff like religious believes. But both partner have to be open minded and supportative.

 

Understanding Islam after having been raised in a western/Christian/Jewish society isnt easy. Unlike other faiths, there is more than just sin and not a sin.