Forgetting Someone

I recently told this girl I known for 2 1/2 years that it's better to forget each other. But I still really love her and she has feelings too, I think. She says that she knows it's the end and she offered to remain friends, but I don't agree to that. I love her too much to be friends because if she finds someone new, I know I will become jealous. She says that after this, she won't find a new bf for long time, maybe after she finish her college because she's very busy with her study. I don't believe that because I think it's hard to be alone. We said our goodbyes today but I regret doing so because I said it first and I didn't know if she wanted to end because she wanted to be friends. We ended all contact with each other too. Should I just try to forget her? Try to have chance again? I need real answers, not someone who will answer sarcastically because anyone who has been in love know how it feels.

 

You really love her? GET HER BACK! I speak from experience...

 

Should I try to do that? I was her first bf and she says I'm a good person and she's thankful for everything I did for her, but she says it's the end. When problems first occured in the relationship, she said time will tell all about our future. There are many reasons why we are breaking up, but to me they are reasons that can be solved by talking heart to heart, but I'm kind of scared to say anything to her because I was the first one to initiate the break-up. Maybe I should wait some time until I get into contact with her again?

 

It reads like you didn't say everything that you wanted to say to her. If you'll have regrets, then go back and say what you want to say. And then listen to her. If she still says that it's the end, then move on. At least you'll be able to move on without regrets.

 

When ego and pride get in the way, good things can be lost forever. You said that she says it's the end but that you ended things. Was that because you felt she was going to and you wanted to beat her to it? There is nothing to lose and everything to gain by having a heartfelt, honest discussion with her. If you've made mistakes (like breaking up), admit them. It does not make you less of a person. Best case scenario, she feels like you do and it works out. Worst case, she really does want to move on. At least then, you will have peace of mind knowing you put your feelings out there and you tried instead of asking yourself "what if?" down the road. Don't wait until she has found someone else to try and make things right.

 

If she really wanted to just be friends she would not have agreed to end all contact. We women do that when it's too painful to stay in touch. If she said she won't find another bf for a long time, that means she still loves you!

Most of us women also pull away hoping and praying our guy will pursue us. We may even scream in a fit of pain and anger after a bad fight that we want you out of our lives, but we usually don't mean it! It sounds like a game, but it really isn't, it means we are truly scared, and somehow when our guy hangs on it gives us a since of security in his love.

I say call her, tell her how you feel. Offer to start off slow again, but let her know you are really hurting inside, that you need her and love her. Men don't often talk about how they feel, and women need you to do that sometimes.

If you don't do it soon, she'll think it isn't real. She'll think you are coming back because you didn't find someone else, and now she will feel like she's second choice. You need to do it SOON!

 

From your post it sounds like you are college age. I would recommend to date others and move on, but stay in touch. Keep her email address and send her a Christmas Card. You may get back together someday or maybe just a booty call for old times sake. Why burn a bridge?

 

I agree with SirNose, I'm at college and it's hard to keep up with people when you go to college/move etc...

Like he said, keep her email/number.

If you're adamant though give it a little time, absense makes the heart grow fonder. Give her time to miss you, but not too much time!

Don't make mistakes I've done and come accross as a demented stalker begging to get back together, you don't realise you sound demented until you look back and realise you lost your dignity somewhere a long the way.

I love your username, BentBoner... lol.

Good luck whatever happens though.

 

I totally agree with tinkerbell if your sound in your own mind that you love this girl and you can make it work you need to move SOON because she may think you played the field somewhere else got ur fingers burnt and returned to her as second best.

please dont do the Sir Nose way off doing things the booty call attitude! its sounds like you had true feeling for her thats not the way to look upon her. I agree college makes things hectic but there is always time be it little or large for someone you care for.
Whichever way you go i hope you sort it out.

 

TheBentBoner...

wow..

 

I agree with the above quote...