Standards

Even though I never said they would end up flipping burgers or having a degree, you are right.

 

I absolutely agree. Some really smart people might not even do well in school (due to boredom, dyslexia, whatever). But, get them out in the real world and they'll wipe the floor with you. A college degree does not a smart person make.

 

Male requirements:

1. A man who is upwardly mobile. I have a good job and a Bachelor's degree, and I will finish my Master's degree next year. After graduation, I plan to begin work in a leadership position in my career track. You should be as ambitious as I am about your own education/career goals. Self-sufficiency is a non-negotiable.

2. You should be intelligent and capable of providing thoughtful insight into current national and world situations. Having a cute face or even being good in bed alone never holds my attention for long (although I might have a little fun with you for a short time).

3. You need to go down. You need at least 6" and damn well know how to use it. I am not concerned about thinness or muscularity in a man, but if you can't go round after round in bed, it probably won't work out between us.

4. A previous marriage with or without children is not necessarily a deal-breaker, but you need to have a healthy relationship with your ex-wife. Having a "baby momma" is NOT attractive to me.

5. Finally, the obvious: no felons, drug addicts, drunks, depressives, immature, insecure, or emotionally unstable men.

 

The whole idea of going to college is to further ones education. I value learning something new everyday. I don’t need a girl that feels she can learn everything from television and reading the newspaper. For lets be honest here, the media is a poor excuse for entertainment. There are many people who grow out of relationships based on having fewer things to talk about when one party is in college while the other one is not.

There are certain jobs that require degrees. In the Medical industry you need schooling in order to attain a substantial position in the world of Medicine.

Real Estate is hit or miss and not considered a stable career. As for the Salesgirl opening her own business, she has a 90% chance of going bankrupt within the first year due to lack of business skills.

Bare in mind this is not an issue of money. It is more to wards having someone within the same level of intelligence (which usually stems from having many things in common) as yourself so you won’t venture elsewhere to enjoy stimulated conversations. While sex can bring two people together, it is not the final say for a long-term relationship. Married couples that celebrate 30, 40, or 50-year anniversaries are a prime example. Substance is needed in order to make the relationship prosper. That prosperity can only come from a kinship between two individuals that feed each other with the wonder of inspiration.

[FONT=&quot]Cheers![/FONT]

 

Just because a person went to college, it doesn't mean they're any smarter than before they entered college. And just because a person didn't go to college, doesn't mean that they aren't smart and have life experiences that can make them more interesting to talk to than a person who did go to college.

Base it on the person and not the degree. You aren't an employer. You're a potential mate. I know many people who aren't college "educated" who would probably kick your ass in a conversation. There is something to be said for life experiences. That's all I'm trying to say.

 

The topic is based on "Standards." What I wrote is based on My Standards no one else. I did not disagree on Jellybird's views. I merely explained why I prefer College Women seeing that I did mention it as one of my standards. It's pretty much how many would state their reasons why they prefer White Women correct?


I'm not sure where the "I know many people who aren't college educated who would probably kick your ass in a conversation" stems from when I'm just expressing what works best for me based on past experience.


And I kid you not I have a lot of experience with the opposite sex.


[FONT=&quot]Cheers![/FONT]

 

I understand your point, and yes, I know it is harder to make a livable wage without a degree, but having an education is not synonymous with being intelligent, and vice versa. And just because someone doesnt go to college doesnt mean that they arent abitious.

One thing that has always bothered me is the propensity of people with college educations to look down on those without. Its reaks of classism and says, "Im better than you and youre not good enough for me."

I dont want to speak for others, but it seems that people should be more concerned that the person they are interested in has a career plan - and isnt just "working at a job" - as opposed to having a college education. There are a lot of firemen, policemen and military people who thru circumstance, and yes, even by choice, decide not to go to college and make a career in those respected areas. And personally, I dont see anything wrong with that. Actually, I would be honored to date a woman who was a fire-person or in the military. (A police-person is a toss-up.)

You make the point about long-term marriages being based on substance, alluding to that substance being having things in common based on education. I disagree. Long term relationships are based on love, committment, understanding points of view that are not your own, and last, but certainly not least, sacrifice. Look at marriages and the divorce rate now vs. 30, 40, or 50 years ago. The educational gap between spouses was significantly larger then than it is now, but back then marriages lasted far longer and the divorce rate was significantly lower. (Yes, I know, there are other variables that have to be considered, but you get my point.)

And finally, if having a degree is a criteria, where does it end? If I have a phd., then I can exclude women who only have a bachelor's degreee because on face value, they arent nearly as smart as me and we probably are gonna have little in common. Or what if I have a degree in engineering and she has a degree in education? Least be honest, there is a huge gap in the brain power needed to earn those degrees.

My point is (finally) that when you meet the right person, as apposed to someone who you want to casually date, you will not care what they do for a living. And if you do, then you are not good enough for them.

 

Wow, just wow........

 

All I'm saying is, what you really want is someone with whom you can converse and with whom you have lots in common with. I get that. But, then you go ahead and add a quantifier to it saying that she has to be in college or have a degree.

My issue is this quantifier. Let's call a spade a spade. You want someone who is smart, is upwardly mobile and with whom you can engage in good conversation. Most people would agree with you. However, a person can be all of those things without having set foot on a college campus.

I just think you're putting way too much emphasis on a piece of paper. Who cares if someone graduated college? Just because they have the diploma does not mean that they have any knowledge of how to apply what they've learned.

Just don't pass up opportunities at meeting and getting to know a great woman just because she doesn't have a college degree. A college degree is not worth the paper its printed on if the person has no clue in how to apply the knowledge they've learned.

 

Hitting it out of the ballpark again, Jellybird. :smt023

 

re

Having a degree may not be synonymous with being intelligent, but most persons who earn a college degree have demonstrated some kind of intellectual competency and personal ambition.

If you aren't any smarter after attending college, you should get your money back! Some of us are looking for the "whole package." There are people with a college education AND life experience. If I date someone who does not have a degree or at least some college experience, they'd better have a damn good career.

This post was started for each of us to state our standards for the opposite sex. We're not trying to push them on anyone else. Frankly, some of you sound like you have a chip on your shoulder.

 

Somebody's defensive.

 

Unfortunately, a lot of people can't afford college. They can't afford a load of debt either. There was an article in the New York Times just the other day about how it's getting harder and harder for people to qualify for educational loans, and people end up postponing (hopefully only postponing) their education. And here's another one of their articles on the topic, by Bob Herbert who is African American by the way:

Stepping on the Dream
By BOB HERBERT


Published: March 22, 2007
One of the weirder things at work these days is the fact that we’re making it more difficult for American youngsters to afford college at a time when a college education is a virtual prerequisite for establishing and maintaining a middle-class standard of living.



Young men and women are leaving college with debt loads that would break the back of a mule. Families in many cases are taking out second mortgages, loading up credit cards and raiding 401(k)s to supplement the students’ first wave of debt, the ubiquitous college loan.
At the same time, many thousands of well-qualified young men and women are being shut out of college, denied the benefits and satisfactions of higher education, because they can’t meet the ever-escalating costs.
You want a recipe for making the U.S. less competitive over the next few decades? This is it.
Traditionally, one of the sweetest periods in the lives of many college graduates has been the time immediately after leaving school, when they could relax and take the measure of the newly emerging adult world. It was a time, perhaps, to travel, or to sample intriguing employment opportunities, even if they didn’t pay particularly well. Debt was not usually the overriding concern of the young graduate.
That has changed. Along with their degree, most graduates leave college now with a loan obligation that will hover over them for years, maybe decades. Student loans have decisively overtaken grants as the primary form of financial aid for undergraduates.
Two-thirds of all graduates now leave college with some form of debt. The average amount is close to $20,000. Some owe many times that.
Tamara Draut, in her book, “Strapped: Why America’s 20- and 30-Somethings Can’t Get Ahead,” tells us:
“Back in the 1970s, before college became essential to securing a middle-class lifestyle, our government did a great job of helping students pay for school. Students from modest economic backgrounds received almost free tuition through Pell grants, and middle-class households could still afford to pay for their kids’ college.”
Since then, tuition at public and private universities has soared while government support for higher education, other than student loan programs, has diminished.
This is a wonderful example of extreme stupidity. America will pony up a trillion or two for a president who goes to war on a whim, but can’t find the money to adequately educate its young. History has shown that these kinds of destructive trade-offs are early clues to a society in decline.
At the state level, per-pupil spending for higher education is at a 25-year low, even as government officials and corporate leaders keep pounding out the message that a college degree is the key to a successful future.
Ms. Draut, director of the Economic Opportunity Program at Demos, a public policy group in New York, got to the heart of the matter in her recent testimony before a U.S. Senate committee looking into higher education costs.
“The fundamental problem,” she said, “is rooted in the reality that our government no longer really helps people pay for college — it helps them go into debt for college. The question we need to be asking is not, ‘How much student loan debt is reasonable?’ but, ‘What is the best way to help students afford college?’ ”
The kids who graduate with enormous debt burdens — $40,000, $80,000, $100,000 or more — face a range of uncomfortable and even debilitating consequences, the first of which is the persistent anxiety over how their loans are to be repaid.
I’ve spoken recently with a number of law students who have already decided to go into corporate practice because their first choice — public interest law — would not pay enough to cover their loans. Many students have turned their backs on teaching for the same reason.
At that stage of life, you shouldn’t have to choose between a job you would love and one that you would take simply because it would pay the bills. Talk about stepping on a dream.
There are also plenty of cases of students who have postponed marriage or buying a home or having children because of their college loan obligations.
And then there are those who never see a graduation day. There’s no way of telling what talents have been squandered, or what great benefits to society have been lost, because bright students who were unable to afford the costs have been forced to leave college, or never went to college at all.
In a nation as rich as ours, it should be easy to pay for college. For some reason, we find it easier to pay for wars.

 

How depressing. A friend of mine is finishing her master's degree and she is currently teaching high school science. When she finishes and gets her degree, she'll have $90,000 to repay in student loans.

This is a major problem that needs to get addressed right away.

 

$90,000.00, wow. A friend of mine is in a nursing program and she's so happy that unemployment helped her foot the bill.

 

I said that because there are people who go to college because they're forced to by their family. They go, graduate, but get nothing out of it. They pick BS easy degrees just so their families will get off their backs. Others go just for the experience of getting away from their families and for the freedom. Not everyone is ready to go to college when they do, and there are many different reasons to go to college. Not all of it is to better yourself.

My soon-to-be ex husband is more of a hands-on learner and never went to college, even though he graduated from one of the best high schools in the city of Chicago. He also makes more money than I do (me being a college graduate). Some people just don't do well in the school setting, and fair better just going out in the real world from the get-go. It doesn't make them less smart.

I don't have a chip on my shoulder. I just know a lot of really smart, successful people who haven't been to college, and it just sounds like they'd be dismissed so easily because of it. That's all.

 

She's one of the lucky ones! Of course, my friend also went to a really expensive school for her master's. But, still, that is crazy. No one should have to start out life with that kind of debt hanging over their heads just because they wanted to go to college.

 

Exactly. And there are people with college degrees who can't spell without the help of a spellchecker. In my book, if a person can spell correctly on his own and uses a broad vocabulary, then not having a degree is not such a big deal. Of course, hopefully, the person still intends to get it one day and is working towards it.

 

What you explained is just the tip of the iceberg in what I am looking for. I don’t think anyone could summarize his or her ideal mate in a few paragraphs.

Absolutely! But, it doesn’t mean we will have a lot in common. Please don’t assume you know me based on the few post I wrote on this forum. There is a far more technical side of me in which I use 98% of the time on a daily basis. This is why I chose the screen name “Complex.”

What I am focusing on is a woman that likes to further her Education. From past experiences, I have more in common with women who are College bound than those who feel High School is all the education they need.

You are absolutely correct there are some College students who did not put their degrees to good use once they graduated. I would imagine there major played a factor or they realise within their senior year they should’ve studied something else. However, there are a lot of students that used the school to their advantage. Networked properly and, used that documentation to command the position they are aiming for.

[FONT=&quot]Cheers![/FONT]

 

Yeah...you got me!

I flip burgers for a living. :-?