Standards

[FONT=&quot]What are the things that would prevent you from going beyond the first date with someone you found attractive?

Here are a few of my standards that hold dear to me.

Children. I've made mistakes dating girls with children in the past. I will not make that mistake again. I have more than enough semen to create own when the time is right.

Drug Addicts. The risk of her robbing my flat to get high is too risky. No thank you.

No College Background. I’ve travelled all the way from Europe to the States, bunked with relatives, in order to further my education. I don't see the logic for a girl that didn't go through such an ordeal state she is not in College. I have more tolerance dating exchange students that have difficulty pronouncing the English dialect properly than, a girl who thinks working, as a cashier is perfectly fine. [/FONT]

 

Good standards. Fuck dating a girl who doesn't want to go to school. That's all bad.

 

For those who I find attractive and actually go on a date........

1-Children......I adore them but don't want any baby moma drama. Every other weekend vists with a single child may be excusable.....MAY BE

2-Alcoholic-I love me some beer and to let loose every now and then, but a man that needs to drink is a man that doesn't need me....

3-Ex-Cons or Parolees....No thanks...A past DUI conviction when he was younger okay....misdemeanors ......tolorable....

4-Drugs! Need I say more.......

5-Control freaks....I am a grown ass women.....don't need a daddy...need a good man!

6-Women Beater.....I have purchased a few rounds for my weapon, don't need someone who thinks that beating the shit out of me is gonna change me....

Everyone deserves to be love unconditionally....everyone deserves to be accepted for whom they are. While in a relationship if you believe you can change someone or something to better yourself .....your dead wrong!

 

1) Kids. You can call me after you put the little one to bed no problem but other than that...

2) Smokers. Can't do it.

3) Republican/Conservative. Fuck "debating."

4) MUST LIKE GOOD MUSIC. This is a must. If her repertoire consists only of the top 10 BET hits and the collected works of 2Pac, I'm out.

5) Sloppy fat. We all like our healthy women but please know the difference between thick and fat.

6) Ghetto/hip-hop acting chicks of any race. Like Kramer says "POISE COUNTS!!!"

7) If you think Tyler Perry is a cinematic genius, I'm out.

 

Don't count out conservative women...they can be some sho'nuff closet freaks.

Seriously, you're on point with the rest...just hope you don't get slammed for #5 and #6.

I don't have the lungs for smoke.

No Druggies/Alkies

I want kids of my own.

Pleeeease, if you say you have no boyfriend or any other man, mean that.

We all know the musical genius of talented artists such as Young Jeezy and David Banner. :razz:

 

1. Respect. Respect yourself, your momma, and me. No respect, no dates.

2. Manners. See above.

3. Let the goddamn old ladies sit down on the bus, even if it means you have to stand! It's not so fucking hard! Goes back to respect and manners.

4. Kids. I love kids, and they are not a deal breaker with me, as long as there's no baby momma drama involved. This also means: pay your child support, spend time with your kid, BE A GOOD FATHER. If a guy has kids and doesn't care about them, then why the fuck would he get a chance with me? Way I see it...you never know when one of those miraculous little accidents that'll change your life forever will happen, and it's best to be with a guy who'll actually help you and care about the child in the event of an accident happening, not some loser who has 4 kids with 4 different women and can't even remember the names of his children.

5. No money, no problem, as long as you're in school. No school, horrible job, no ambition to do better? Find someone else.

6. If you do well on the first date you might get a kiss goodnight, but other than that KEEP YOUR FUCKING HANDS TO YOURSELF! My body belongs to ME, thems MY goodies, and you have to prove yourself to me before you can play. I don't fuck on the first date, I explain it clearly. THIS IS NOT REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY, RETARD.

7. I can handle being smarter than someone. I can handle carrying conversations. But please. please please please have at least -some- substance. I can make some pretty neat stuff with a blank piece of paper and a pencil, but the paper has potential. If you already don't have anything going on in your head, and you likely never will, then why should I waste my time on you?

8. Don't be shady. I can be suspicious at times. I'm very cynical and pessimistic. But there's a difference between cynicism and paranoia, and my instincts are not generally far from the mark. If you make me feel like you're being shady, then again, why am I wasting my time? Everyone needs their space. Everyone does not need space that makes it seem like they're hiding something.

9. Honesty is the best policy. I'm an open person, and I don't lie often (...we're not counting to the people at school, right??? Those bureaucratic assholes don't count >.>) and if you can't be honest with me it's a deal breaker. If you're going to lie to me you better make DAMN sure I never find out, because if I do you're going to regret it.

10. ACT YOUR DAMN AGE!!!! Yes, I'm a college student, yes I like to drink, yes I like to go out and have fun. But unless I'm dating another college student I expect you to not spend the majority of your spare time in bars getting wasted. If you wanna do drugs then by all means, do your thing, but if by "drugs" you mean anything but weed then find yourself a fellow coke or crackhead to share your time with. It's nice being able to chill with your man over a blunt at home, watch a movie, have some sex, and call it a night. It's nice having a drink on karaoke night, or just chilling at the bar sometimes over a beer. It's not cool having to listen to his drunk dials at 3 in the morning every night, worrying he's going to spend all the money he has on an 8ball, ask you for money for drugs when he doesn't have it, or steal you blind when you say no.

I'll add more later probably!

 

Interesting topic!!

Okay for me some of the deal breakers from a first date only would be:

He shows no respect for me, no respect for himself and no respect for other people (i.e. waiters if we're out to dinner).

I don't want to see his cell phone (no texting, calling, etc) (Goes back to the respect thing).

Smoking is not a huge deal breaker for me, but I'm not fond of it.

He has to dress appropriately for the date. If we're going out to dinner, he better not show up in jeans and flip-flops. If we are just catching a movie and a drink afterwards, jeans and a nice button down or sweater is fine. In fact, no flip flops on the first date!!

Conversation has to be appropriate first date conversation. I don't want to hear him bad-mouth his ex for an hour. If he does that, not only does that tell me that he isn't over her, but it also shows his lack of maturity. Or if all he can talk about is the drinking he and his buddies do every night, that'll be the end of that.

Being a single mom, I can't fault anyone for being a single dad, and I won't. However, like DH said, if he isn't a responsible dad, then bye bye to him.

Act your age. Fun is good, but acting like a 19 year old when you're 40, not so good. :smt018

And if he gets too touchy feely on the first date, that's another :smt018.

Any other deal-breakers usually show up after a few dates to several dates.

 

I have to agree about the conservative women being closet freaks. Get them in the bedroom, behind close doors and you could be in for some trouble.

Woman I'm with now is a classic example of that. Third grade teacher, always dressed prime and proper, carries herself a certain way, etc. In the bedroom......DAMN !!!

 

There's a huge difference between a woman who dresses conservatively and one whose thought processes (in politics, etc) lean to the right....

 

I think I could tolerate the flip flops.

Really hadn't thought about it much, I haven't really dated much, this is an interesting topic.

I have to agree with DH though on most of her points. (Not the drugs though, if I knew he used anything illegal, I wouldn't go again, just shows he doesn't respect the law. Shady.)

Lies are a biggie, but I don't expect you would know that on a first date. I think guys are like us, we all try to put our best foot forward when trying to impress someone. So if he's trying too hard to impress me, I think I would be suspicious.

Mostly I would want to feel I could trust him, if I were going to continue to date him, and if I felt he were shady in any way, I probably would not go again.

 

I am very well aware of what conservative is. Are YOU aware of what etc. means???

 

I didn't realize my comment warranted a rude response. :-|

 

Don't be a dick to Bookworm. She's one of the most awesomest people on here.

She's also smarter than you, I'd wager. And a damn sight more respectful.

 

Awwww....thanks chicky!! Right back at ya!

 

YES!!!! God damn right. Music is one of the top things in my list.

1. Attractive(Not going into detail n' shit)

2. Post-high school education. She doesn't have to go to a university but do some shit after college. Not just a 3 unit class or some shit.

3. Decent taste in music. She doesn't have to listen to NWA and Big L and Ice Cube, like i do. Shit, she could listen to MF Doom and Little Brother and other hip-hop I don't listen to or a little mix of mainstream radio hits and non commercial hip-hop. I just don't want a bet, top 10 girls, as was stated before. If your cd collection consists mostly of "now that's what I call music 87", then I doubt you have great musical taste. Also, I don't want a girl who claims to be a Pac fan and her favorite songs are "California Love" and "I Get Around". At least choose one of his deeper songs that established him as one of the more political rappers. I would actually like if a girl was honest and said "I don't like 2Pac", because I don't either. Also, if I ask you what kind of music you like, PLEASE, do NOT say "I like a little bit of everything". That shit pisses me off. To me, it's just like saying "Anything thrown at me by viacom and the radio, I will eat up, because I don't want to develop an actual taste in music". I would be a turn on if the girl knew the history of hip-hop, a BIG fucking turn on..........yeah I wrote a paragraph on music, do somethin'.:smt070

4. Doesn't party too hard. I'm not a huge party person, but if a person likes to party, it's cool. But if it's drinking all the time, then fuck that. I like to drink, but it has to be a pretty epic fucking night for me to do so.

5. I'm not even gonna go into the having kids thing.

6. Has goals.

7. Not a bitch, to anybody.

8. Mature. And example of what I don't like is that playful hitting shit. There is the soft hit shit, which I still don't like but can tolerate the shit. But then, there are girls who hit as hard as they can, as if that shit's cute. You don't want a full force shot to the ribs, do ya now mufucka? Neither do I. Also, talk like you sound your age. Those girls who try to talk hella cute and end up sounding like an 8th grader, STOP THAT SHIT. They say shit like "me and my mommy went....." or some shit like that. My friend's ex girlfriend talks like that. Luckily they broke up last week, so I don't have to hear that annoying ass voice.

9. Doesn't fuck with hella drugs. Weed, don't give a fuck. I do on HELLA rare occasions. Like 2 times a year. Shrooms. Don't care that much since my friend does it and he's not addicted. And I can't lie and say I've never wanted to try it. Haven't though. But if it is constantly, fuck that. I would prefer that they didn't mess with shrooms though. E? Fuck. It's probably more difficult to find a girl down here who doesn't pop E than in other place, with the whole hyphy trend n' all. But, there are still plenty of women who don't do that shit.

10. Honesty.....yeah.

11. NO FUCKING HOODRAT MENTALITY!!!! Forget that dumb shit. That shit is unattractive and embarrassing. I don't care what color you are, that shit is sad and a turn off. It is more of a turn off seeing white girls do that. Coming from the suburbs and seeing white girls do that is just sad. Do they want to be black deep won inside or some shit? From what I have seen from some in my area, I assume SOME of them do. My best friend's niece is going through her little hip-hop, act cool phase. She talks with all this slang n' shit she never did 2 years ago. Saying RIP to the cuddies n' shit. Using all the bay slang she can pick up in an E-40 song n' shit. she doesn't sound like a hoodrat, because I don't think she can train her voice to do that shit, but she tries and it's sad. She dresses hella different and throws up the typical corny ass peace sign in her pics. Then, the saddest thing I have heard in a long ass time. Her uncle, my best friend, was telling me how a week or two ago, she said "You know, I just really don't like white people"................yeah.

 

I thought I was the only one! "I'm the one who put the satin on your panties..."

And I think a little bit of everything works for many people. On the passenger seat of my car there are currently CDs of Nirvana, Christy Moore, Joan Baez, LL Cool J, and Russian folk.:rock:

 

And Britney Spears! Hit me baby one more time!

 

I personally disagree with the "girl not going to school" part. There are alot of smart people who for one reason or another choose not to go to college.

Let me ask you...if you met a woman who owned her own business, had a six figure income, but has never been to college...would she be acceptable? The reason I ask is because I know alot of women who either work in sales - medical, real estate, and a few other areas - or any number of other occupations who have never set foot on a college campus but are some of the smartest, brightest, people I have ever met?

Every person who doesnt have a degree isnt flipping burgers.

 

The superficial stuff doesnt bother me. I dont care how you dress, youre taste in music, or even your education level. I know too many smart, succcessful, happy people who dont have college degrees and listen to some funky ass music. It wasnt too long ago that people thought I was weird because my favorite music groups were rachel yamagata, rage against the machine, prodigy (the rock group, not the rapper), and moby!

My standards...

1) No smoking. nuff said!

2) No drugs, but I can deal with weed.

3) For a long time I said no kids, but Ive softened my stance. I can live with one.

And now for the intangibles...

1) Gotta take care of yourself. No, you dont have to be a size 8, but its hard to love an 18. I will take a 16 who works out over a 14 who just sits around eating doritos complaining about their weight.

2) Gotta have your own life. I cant stand a woman who wont do sh*t unless I do it with her...or when I go to do something with the boys, she wants to go to because she's bored.

3) Gotta be able to carry on a conversation on any number of topics...or at least be willing to listen and learn. Hell, we can only have sex for 7-8 hours a day at the most...we gotta be able to spend the rest of the day exchanging some ideas.

4) Cant be sexually repressed. Yeah, Im a freak and I need a freak...or at least be willing to try freaky things with me.

And last but not least...

5) Know how to fight! Not physically, but relationship-fight! I hate it when people fight dirty. Try to make you jealous...say mean, hurtful, things, etc.

And of course there are certain intangibles. Kind heart, respectful to others, confident, affectionate, and a few others.

 

1- Lack of hygiene if I see any indication she doesn't wash her hands regularly or bathe regularly that's a strike out right there.

2- Talks badly about people behind their back if she says that about other people what will she say about me when I'm not around?

3 - No goals - no dreams or major aspirations is always a red flag

4 - Petty - If a girl comes off as petty during a conversation big red flag that means she'll probably nag or get concerned about everything I do.

5 - Does a lot of drugs - I don't do drugs at all and I don't want to be with a woman who thinks to have a good time you have to be drunk or doing drugs.

6 - Kids - I know it's not fair to give a strike for a girl with kids but I'm a young guy I don't have time to deal with a woman and kids right now I want kids of my own when I'm ready but if a woman really is appealing I can deal with her already having kids. As logn as she's interested in me and not her baby's daddy.