Family Acceptance?

I ask this to both WW and BM....how were welcoming were your partners parents and family to you when you first met them?

Personally I've yet to have a bad experience, luckily I live in quite a multi-cultural part of England and I've had white girlfriends, white female best friends, Indian best friends male and female and although the Chinese population where I live is quite low, I hang out with a Chinese girl quite a lot at college.

I guess I'm blessed in the sense that I have a lot of multi-racial relationships.

But back to family - even at my tender age I've had a few WW girlfriends and their family has been more than welcoming to me - though I must say that things always seem awkward with their fathers...though I've put that down to just them not wanting their daughters frolicking with boys !

However, my cousin who lives in Illinois got stabbed last year by the father of his white girlfriend - the father had never even met him yet didn't even give him a chance. He just judged him by the colour of his skin.


I'd like to hear of any experiences you've had with your partners family, whether it be good or bad.

 

My first real relationship with a black man was at 16 and my father would say things to me like "do you know what people think of you when they see you two out together?" I would say "I really don't care and they don't have to look". My father just couldn't accept it. I got pregnant at 18 and moved out of his house. He didn't talk to me for 3 months. He always said he didn't have a problem with "black people" just didn't believe in race mixing. I was 7 months pregnant and he and my step-mother called and asked if my children's father and I would come and have lunch with them. They gave him a hug and everything, I was shocked. Ever since then they've been alright. My dad will still crack jokes from time to time thinking he's funny but we ignore him. He loved my kids. I have some uncles and cousins that choose not to speak to my husband and don't have much to say to me either but we don't go around them much. We don't really care anyway, they are just bitter and mad. By the way, WELCOME

 

Hey I'm a first time poster, but I have yet to have a negative experience with the parents of my white girlfriends. They treated me like anyone else, even though I was really nervous that they wouldnt accept me. I think that where you live plays a role also. I live in and have for my entire life an upper middle class/ mostly white neighborhood, so I think most of the people are pretty open, but I'm sure there are some people who probably cant stand interracial relationships. I have yet to encounter it though. However, when I first bought my girlfriend around my parents, my mom wasnt too happy and my father didnt really care. But after my mom met my girlfriend and they had conversation, she realized she was a great person.

 

I am surprised at this jogabonita5, seeing that you live in NC. I have been to Raleigh only once and only for a short time and maybe it is different there. My husband and I went to Myrtle Beach and we didn't see too many IR couples there at all. As a matter of fact, we got stared at, a lot. Especially in restaurants and when we went out. It was strange b/c we were sitting there eating and I feel like people are staring......I look up and what do you know.......they were staring at us. I'm looking at my husband asking "do I look funny or something". He says "no baby, you look great but as you can see there aren't too many mixed couples around here". I can't stand that shit. I mean it really gets under my skin, I stare back and smile. I've said "WHAT!" or "can I help you?" before. I should just keep my mouth shut but it's hard. It was quite noticable. I'd love to go back though, besides that, NC and SC are beautiful states. I loved the trees!!

 

I dont know then, most likely has something to do with age since I am around college aged kids majority of the time. But I still the Triangle area of NC is pretty open about interracial relationships.

 

jogabonita5 I live in your city too. Do you go to the White Collar Crime club? If so what do you think of it? Lots of BM\WW.

 

No I live near campus, but where is that located cause I would like to give it a visit.

 

It is located on the same street as the Ess Lounge the place where Uncle Cracker got in trouble a few months back. I will send you the street address.

 

It is 319 W Davie St. Maquest it from your location. Enjoy,hope to see you there when I return to the States.

 

I can see I'm not only one in NC who uses this, I live 15 miles southeast of Raleigh. I concur this area is getting more comfortable and accustomed to seeing IRs, but this is still pretty much a Conservative biased area. Personally, I don't care as much what others feel as I used to.

Back to the topic. My parents, who are now divorced, say that they wouldn't mind me being in one, but then have a change in heart. My sister is against it. For me, I would probably wouldn't listen to any advice from them, I'll go with my instincts since I have been attracted to women outside of my race since I was little.

 

I hope you can Mike. The Triangle area is still a growing community. You may not go to clubs so in other avenues success can be closer than you think.

 

Jogabonita5 e-mail me when you have the time.

 

negative reaction

I have had a negative reaction from my parents. They think he is the typical bm and its really iritating. My boyfriend has a really hard time with this. He hates that my parents dont like him. They said they would not give their blessing for the wedding if we got married. When I got pregnant (miscarriage) my mom they would not want me to have kids with him. They feel it's aweful to the mixed children for them to be mixed. This is my experience.

 

Re: negative reaction

Just curious, what region/city are you from?

 

I live in Seattle, WA and I am 21 basically - 2 more days =D

 

I've only been in a couple of serious relationships with bm, where it got to the meet-the-parents point. The first bm I ever dated asked me to stay with him and his family for a week, in Decatur, AL, I was a tad hesitant. They were so accepting! After a couple of days there it was as if I'd known his momma for years. The second guy's family was the same way.

 

Really? I thought Seattle/Washington was genrally IR friendly?

Maybe its the younger crowd that is more IR friendly while the older generation still isn't?


Oh yeah, Happy 21st B-Day!

 

Most of my family is REALLY racist, with the exception of a few who are cool, so most of them have rejected me for having dated outside my race. I tell my aunt I must have been adopted because I don't think like most of the family.

 

Virginia Right???

No surprises there. lol

 

I have actually never met my boyfriend's parents yet.They live in Memphis,Tennessee and that's a little far from Germany to just fly over but she has invited me to meet her and gave me her home,cell phone and work number and we talk on Myspace daily.
Actually she used to be stationed in Germany back when she was in the US Army and has made some positive experience so I guess that's why I have been welcomed warmly.
No complaints here.About my boyfriend's dad I don't know.They don't have a good relationship and they hardly ever talk