A List of Questions for White Women

First of all, I am a 17 year old biracial product of an interracial black/white liaison, and my complexion varies from a light tan to a scorched mahogony depending on my contact with sunlight...I think I am obliged to say that for the most part I have had a neutral stance on interracial dating, which has, over the years, veered towards intolerance. Yes, I will acknowledge my moral shortcoming, but my views are not entirely devoid of reason. As a bi-racial male in a society that is all but willing to accept racially mixed humans as beings fully receptive to prejudice and capable of emotions, I have experienced ostracism, racial profanity and blatant disgust from members of the black and white communities respectively. Hence my dislike for black/white relationships.

For those of you who might say that bi-racial kids can get along just fine in society, I am living proof that this is complete crap. Black people CONSTANTLY ask me why I look and "speak" white and white people are just dismissive of me all together. I have tried to fit in, I have tried to immerse myself in the roots of my culture on both my parents' side, and it has all been in vain. I have tried the non-conforming approach as well, being spontaneous or just "being myself". Newsflash: It doesn't work. Reading Plato's Republic and claiming that Victor Hugo's Les Miserables is your favorite book while wearing a tupac "Thug till I die shirt" and earnestly trying to speak ebonics at the same time doesn't really fit well with blacks. And as for whites... trying to fit in with them... is simply HARD. Yes I am generalizing, yes that is ignorant, but damn ITS TRUE.

So... without further ado, I have compiled a list a very straight-forward questions for you white ladies who condone dating/marrying black men to produce halflings like me who sometimes feel lost and out of place with no true cultural identity:

1)Do you find it odd that there are more black men on this site than white women considering the fact that there are far more white women than black men in the world?

2)Do more black men approach you than white men? If so, do you personally think that your physical appearance has something to do with it?

3) What are your favorite or most prominent physical traits? If you answered blue eyes, blonde hair, brunette hair, red hair, straight hair, or light complexion, would you marry and have babies with a black man knowing that your child will most likely not possess any of these physical traits that you admire?

4)Have you ever thought that black men might have an ulterior motive for desiring you?

5)Are there any black men who truly annoy you, black men who you would never think of dating?

6)Have you ever had doubts about dating black men, if so, when?

7)Do you really find our nappy, knotted annoying and inextricably twisted hair attractive or do you just ignore it?

8)Are there any white men you find attractive? (celebrities, businessmen..)If so, and if these men were interested in dating/marrying and settling down with you would you stop dating blacks?

9) What are your academic qualifications? (ex. Master in Psychology... Doctor of Philosophy in Chemistry)

 

Well, first off, I'm sorry you've had such a hard time. It's never easy dealing with prejudice in any form, and when you get it from all angles it's damn near impossible to handle sometimes.

A question for you, before I answer yours: Where do you live? A lot of problems can stem merely from where you call home. Some areas are much more open to everything (or just some things) than others. It's like comparing Houston, where I live now, to West Virginia, where I was born and lived my first 22 years. The two are as different as can be, and if I had a child who was biracial I'd never consider raising them there, except -maybe- a couple of the cities, but that's a big maybe and would depend on circumstances.


1)Do you find it odd that there are more black men on this site than white women considering the fact that there are far more white women than black men in the world?

Not really. It seems to be far more socially acceptable for black men to date outside their race than white women, so perhaps that has some bearing on it, but it could just be that the ladies haven't found this place yet.





2)Do more black men approach you than white men? If so, do you personally think that your physical appearance has something to do with it?

Yeah, they do. Since I've lived here I can only remember one white guy who even bothered flirting with me. On the contrary, almost every day a black guy hits on me. Is it my physical appearance? Probably. I'm a white girl who has a big ass. Obviously not all black guys like that, but it certainly seems to help when they hit on me.



3) What are your favorite or most prominent physical traits? If you answered blue eyes, blonde hair, brunette hair, red hair, straight hair, or light complexion, would you marry and have babies with a black man knowing that your child will most likely not possess any of these physical traits that you admire?

My favorite physical trait on me? I like being a redhead, and I sometimes like my freckles. I don't think freckles would be a problem if I had a biracial child, but I don't think the fact that my child wouldn't be a redhead would have any bearing on my decision to have a child with a man I love, regardless of race. The gene that causes the red hair "abnormality" is recessive and only usually pops up every few generations anyway, so even if I procreated with a white man chances are I wouldn't have children with red hair anyhow, unless the gene was more prominent in his family, as it is not in mine. I personally Have no hang ups about kids who "don't look like me" as far as my parenting when it happens, because I'd be just as likely to adopt a child who has no biological relation to me at all. It's simply a nonissue with me, since I want to be a parent someday, and since adopting may be the only way, it'd be stupid of me to be so judgmental on a potential mate solely because I wanted white children with red hair. A child is a child, and if it's yours, whether biologically or not, you should love it with all your heart.


4)Have you ever thought that black men might have an ulterior motive for desiring you?

Some, yes. But you can't generalize. I believe a couple of guys I've went out with wanted me for reasons other than myself, but oh well. I'm not going to judge all black men on a few. That's retarded.



5)Are there any black men who truly annoy you, black men who you would never think of dating?

Of course. And there are white men like that, middle eastern men, hispanic men, asian men, ect. Annoying traits happen across all races. I judge people on who they are, not what they look like.



6)Have you ever had doubts about dating black men, if so, when?

The only doubt in my mind about dating black men was more of a fear. I was afraid of how my racist family would take the news, and what sort of backlash would be brought upon me because of it. However, just as with every decision I've made in my life, I make my decisions based on what I feel, not anyone else, and while I was worried, I never let it change who I dated. I will go out with whoever I want, and nothing will change that.



7)Do you really find our nappy, knotted annoying and inextricably twisted hair attractive or do you just ignore it?

I love my boyfriend's hair. I've spent hours just rubbing his head, especially right after he's gotten a haircut.

8)Are there any white men you find attractive? (celebrities, businessmen..)If so, and if these men were interested in dating/marrying and settling down with you would you stop dating blacks?

Well duh. I don't discriminate in anything. I'm attracted to all sorts of people, though I have a strong attraction for men who are darker than me.
I would stop dating period if I found that one man who I would spend the rest of my life with. I prefer monogamy. I think this question is a bit on the silly side, because why would someone continue dating if they had a good mate who wanted to marry them, as long as they felt the same way?



9) What are your academic qualifications? (ex. Master in Psychology... Doctor of Philosophy in Chemistry)

I really don't see how this is relevant. Intelligence and maturity aren't based on a diploma. But if you have to know, I posses nothing more than a high school diploma. I'm presently attending college, pursuing a Bachelor's in Animation. I don't have a doctorate or masters, nor would my future degree give me any sort of academic weight in any situation that didn't involve cartoons.

A degree doesn't make a person nor make their opinions more important than someone else's. A person does that on their own.

 

Double-post sorry...no delete feature on this site..

 

I live in Jacksonville, Florida.

My questions are slightly judgmental and biased, I admit that that, but I would truly like to thank you disposableheroine for answering my questions honestly and not straying from the point like I've seen a lot of people do.

This answer in particular was my favorite:

because my Caucasian mother thinks the exact same way . It's such a pity that many other mothers don't think the same though and its even more depressing to know that society is generally impervious to racial acceptance.

I have posted this exact question on three different forums in the last five years and you'd be surprised at how many answers of "no" I have received to the second question. [/quote]

 

Okay, so you have a dislike for black/white relationships, yet you choose to post threads here to complain about it? Dude you're making about as much sense as screen-doors on a submarine.

 

I would get into an argument with you but I can see that you're just asking for it by not backing up your accusation and we'd be going way off topic so I'll just thank you for at least acknowledging this thread. The metaphor was unnecessarily harsh btw... and to think that black guys say black women lash out for no reason...lol.

 

Dude first off, stop trying to blend-in with people and just do you. People tend to flock to those who have a lone-gunman mentality. If you can't find a fraternity to join, then start your own.

And if you thought what I said was harsh, you really wouldn't want to hear what I have to say when I'm really being sarcastic.

 

hey Adolescent!
well, thanks for the topic, it was very interesting to read, cause i'm really planning having bi-racial kids someday, so I know that there are problems that they face with. i didnt know that though, i usd to think that bi-racial people are accepted everywhere...

and to answer your question:
1) I dont even know how man men or women are on this site...lol soo...I think it should be something roughly the same...

2) Since I live in Russia, there are not that many black men,well, in my town there are just about 10 of them, and i know them all. lol so...usally it's white men who approach me. but when i was in the US, it was much more black men who tried to get to know me for some reason. and i dont think i have some features that could be the reason...I guess it might come from inside of me. I mean, if I look at Black men only, it should leave its mark on me...

3) I have black hair, dark eyes, slim constitution...I dont mind my child to have black physical traits. I want it! and I'm sooo curious how MY child's gonna look if his dad will be black. I cant wait to have that bi-racial baby of mine!))

4) ummmm no I dont think so. I think their attraction to me has to do with something about me anyway. lol

5) oh yeah! of caurse there are! like I wouldnt date a thug (even though i used tobe attracted to them lol), because f the dissrespect that they have towards women in general. I would never take a role of a bitch for somebody...

6) yes, i had doubts about dating black men. and I had 2 reasons. one of them was my dad, who couldnt take the fact that i'm into black men only. and the other reason was because of the G's and thugs and their attitude towards women. when i realized that the first time, i was really depressed! cause i thought that all the black men were dissrespectful and stuff. so it seemed like i will never be happy with a black man (if i dont take and accept his attitude and the way to treat me). but now I know that i was really mistaken. so i dont worry about it anymore.

7) I love black people's hair!!!!!!!!! and I hope my kids will have the same in their little bi-racial heads!

8 ) Nahhh i dont think there are any. Im not attracted to white men at all for some reason...and it's probably not something to be proud of, but this is the fact though...

9) I'm 21 so i'm still a student. But i'm gonna graduate the next year!

 

[/quote]

Well, you're welcome! After all the times I've seen people (and myself) accused of "dodging questions" on here, it's refreshing to see someone say something was answered directly. *L* The difference is, I suppose, that while your questions may not have been perfectly PC, there were two things to take into account

1) You're 17. That doesn't mean it makes what you say have any less weight, but I remember being 17 and being judged harshly by everyone around me. It gave me a lot of anger, and, though the targeted demographic would've been slightly different, had I been able to pose questions to the people that gave me such feelings, mine probably would've been even more biased and judgmental, and honestly...likely really harsh, simply due to the anger I'd been fostering.

So, all that to say I somewhat understand how you feel, though the situations are pretty different. Empathy is a powerful thing.

2) You explained yourself without making a bunch of rude, condescending comments like I've seen a lot lately (and on internet forums in general). I feel that if someone can have the maturity to at least remain civil, even when discussing something they don't like, then they deserve my respect.

As for Jacksonville...I've had no experience with Florida, so I can't say for sure anything about it, though I can say from what I've heard this may be your problem. I encourage travel, because personally I found it was much better for me to find an area better suited to me, instead of trying to adapt to where I was born. Maybe getting out of there and finding a home of your own could help you. Look into colleges in cities you're interested in. Sometimes going just a little distance can drastically change the environmental factors, and can make you so much more happy.

I can speak about Houston, at least, and I've found no problems here with interracial relationships or biracial people. My friends have comprised a lovely rainbow spectrum since I've lived here, and the only time I've noticed any problem (overtly) is when an ex coworker made a comment about how me dating black guys was "gross". That's about it. I'm not going to say it's perfect, because I doubt that anywhere is, but I do find the atmosphere here much more open. Perhaps, if you're interested in moving out of there, you should ask around as to what places might be nice to you.

I honestly never realized people could be so different just based on where they live, even though I sort of knew it before I moved. But I didn't know for sure, I guess, and heading to Houston was not only an eye opener, but probably one of the best decisions I've ever made.

And about the answer you liked...heh. I've got a slightly different perspective than the average person, I guess, because my fertility has had a big question mark on it since I was your age (I'm only 23, btw), and after one marriage with no children (not for lack of trying) it leaves me with little room for doubt that I will indeed have to adopt if I want a child and don't end up marrying, or being with, a man who has live in children already.

And I want to be a mom with every fibre of my being. So to me, the idea of not wanting a child, a biological child of your very own, only because their physical features won't be a perfect match for your own...it just feels wrong to me. Especially considering with the way genetics tend to work you are not guaranteed any specific physical trait with a child you create anyhow, unless you actively seek a partner that reflects those traits you so desire (or your only options are them), and then that begins to open up a whole new can of worms and starts sounding like a breeding program. And even "selective breeding" doesn't help always, cause, in the case of the gene that causes my sensitive, pale skin, red hair, and freckles, the very nature of the gene is to be annoyingly unpredictable. The majority of my family has brown hair and olive skintones, where I'm the black sheep with my super white skin.

Besides. If I can have a child someday, if the father is black and has brown eyes...well, the baby will most likely have my brown eyes too. So if that's what I truly wanted, it's more likely to happen than any other physical trait I have being passed down.

I just feel that physical looks have no place in love. They play a role in attraction when seeking a mate, but when it comes to loving your family, I don't see how looks should ever cross one's mind.



btw...don't get upset at Tony Soprano. You're just experiencing a hint of his sparkling personality

 

Much easier said than done my friend. You know that feeling when you've comitted an action or made a statement that reflects your inner thoughts and true feelings and then everyone in the room is plunged into an awkward drawn-out silence? and then you feel the victim of your own endeavor to just "be yourself"? I've run into this episode many times.

 

It sure did cross my father's mind ,which is why he left me. He thought that I would adopt more of my mother's white silky-smooth features and was perhaps too ignorant to realize that the black gene is usally dominant over the white. It was wrong of me to dismiss the fact that people like you exist, but it is the ideals of people who think, base their acts and have attitudes the exact opposite of yours that plague my community. Getting up and moving out of my home to explore the world is a dead-end possibility because my mother is bent on seeing me become a doctor and wants me to live with her until I'm at least in residency at 25-26, so we're looking at another 9 years for that day to come...lol. You're suggestion is logical, but for me improbable, but hey, that's life .

 

Hello Cowboysfan! Nice to see you again!

Are you all taking fool seriously? Look at the way he talks. He is no 17 yr. old multi-racial kid. No self-respecting black or half-black person would say something like this-

"Do you really find our nappy, knotted annoying and inextricably twisted hair attractive or do you just ignore it?"

and then try and cast a negative light on IR relationships by pretending to be a byproduct of such unions.

Also - "As a bi-racial male in a society that is all but willing to accept racially mixed humans as beings fully receptive to prejudice and capable of emotions, I have experienced ostracism, racial profanity and blatant disgust from members of the black and white communities respectively. Hence my dislike for black/white relationships."

Really man? I can tell you that bi-racial children nowadays hardly experience hardships to the degree you claim. I personally KNOW lots of bi-racial kids by people I work with and associate with outside of work and those kids have NO trouble or issues AT ALL from anybody - except from the few pockets of fools like you who have a problem with it.

 

No dude, it's very easy. Always remember to think before you speak, and think before you react. If I'm in a room full of people then I'm usually the quietest person in the room. I'm not saying that I wont socialize with people, I just choose to be very observant because I seem to learn that much more about the other people in the room. I'll give you a quote from my favorite move "The Godfather Part II", it should put things in a better perspective for you:

"Always think while people around you are thinking, because on that basis anything is possible".

I used to be a real quiet social misfit when I was your age. I didn't really fit in with anyone because I was still trying to figure out just who the hell I was. When I stopped looking for friends, the friends found me because I was doing "me" and just being myself.

Don't let society dictate what you should do with your life, do what makes you feel good and the rest will simply take care of itself. If you wanna only date ww, fine. If you choose to only date bw then that's also okay. Just do you and you'll do just fine.

I'm speaking from experience and now I got a whole crew of friends to hang out with, these cats are like my brothers too.

 

Goodeyes, drow.

I also remember what karmacoma said about Adolescent being = Cowboysfan, drow.

 

Hey I know you! You had to give it away so quick huh? And you thought you had it all cleverly figured out....

I am Dr. Interracial and I am coming to cure you from your pale troubled skin, your flaky hair, fat body and flacid pink penis. Do you find that attractive? Bring it on white boy, I recognize my peers

 

Cowboysfan? No I'm not him... There isn't much I can do for proof but you can check our IP addressess ... I also go by the name of adolescent09 on the Online Literature Forum where I joined and left last year.. I felt like an outcast..http://www.online-literature.com/forums/member.php?u=26038

As for me not being interracial, these are my pics under Bobbyj0nes :


You can find them here: http://www.ratemybody.com/profile_613243_BobbyJ0nes.html

http://www.realpics.net/Bobbyj0nes


If you notice, I have no friends on the "friend's list" except for myself and at realpics you can check my dislikes page which makes a strong statement about black/white liaisons and hasn't been edited since I joined that site.

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Ok. Now I'm gonna go off on a rant. Tell you all what I truly believe and you can take it or leave it.

Our hair is nappy, it has to be combed every ten minutes just to keep it from knotting up, and that was an honest question. I'm not sure about where you live but I've heard lots of racial comments about my hair: "All you black people have the same hair","My dog has better hair than you" and the all too cliched black women stipulation, "get a perm". It just makes me feel sick to the stomach that 70% of black women are single because 1) the majority of them are academically outperforming black men and black men are intimidated by that and 2) black men simply don't find them attractive.

I think there is something wrong with me because I am bi-racial which is why I came here to ask honest questions as to why people do it. I AM insecure, but you are no less insecure than me. You would not feel the need to fling yourself at the feet of the women who belong to a race of people that enslaved, oppressed, terrorized and dominated your race for 400 years if you were so secure. You haven't even made peace with your own women, why step over the boundaries to chase after women who are eventually labelled "race traitor","nigger lover" and deemed eventual outcasts by their own men. For Christ's sake black/white marriage was BARELY legalized a mere 40 years ago and already it has spread and continues to spread like wildfire while black women are left like last weeks stale bread. Doesn't any of it seem WRONG to you? or are you too damn swept up in the beauty of white women to acknowledge your past and attempt to re-write a better future?

Do I think white women look better than black women? FUCK YES. There are far more GORGEOUS white women than black women in my opinion and I can see why black males are hung over them. But look at history... Who are we to just let are black woman go as if the lives they lead are so different from ours. Haven't you ever felt we're losing them???? Is it fair to LIE and generalize that we don't care for them anymore simply because they have "nasty attitudes". BULLSHIT. Cut the SHIT. Half of me is you so I know how you think. You know and I know why we admire white women. They have been planted into the image of immaculate beauty and perfection dating back thousands of years. She is propaganda served as Eve, She is propaganda served as the Virgin Mary, she is a hallowed specimen of divine lecture, but she ISN'T ours. She is the WHITE MAN'S. Why can't we have a bit of solidarity and and at LEAST reconcile with our own black women before chasing after the prize!! Reluctantly eat the beans before you vivaciously wolf down the cake!

Personally knowing someone is not the same as being someone. There are lots of people who think I'm perfectly fine when I myself know I'm not. I fantasize about murdering innocent people, feeling isolated and hollow and fenting up anger because you feel racially left out can all be cleverly tucked away under an implacably mellow appearance. Saying that sure does sound cheasy and unbelievable but you wouldn't know because I doubt you've ever THOUGHT this way. When you look for help people think you're begging for attention and then marvel at the fact that "psychopaths" like Theodore Kaczynski and the Virginia tech kind exist. Yeah like murderers were BORN that way. Go figure.

 

first of all, i'm very confused as to how you can disagree with the type of relationship that is responsible for your very existence. secondly, like tonysoprano mentioned - i'm not sure why you would come on a board that was designed for the type of relationship that you do not condone, to complain about the fact that you're a product of one of "these relationships". and thirdly, why are you only directing these questions at white women? it takes two to tango.

i'm sorry that you've had your struggles and your problems......but welcome to life. everybody has problems. everybody has struggles. racism is ugly, it's evil, and it comes in every size, shape and color. sadly, racism is a reality in our world. what do you do about? you be above it....you stand up for what you know is right....you don't get hung up on others' ignorance....and you raise your children to know that color is something that makes us unique, not different.

now to answer your questions.....

well, considering that there are 22,000+ members on this board, i'm doubting that you went through and polled or counted how many were ww and how many were bm. there may be more active members who are black men, but what does that really have to do with anything? what if this were an animal-lover site....and there were more dog lovers than cat lovers. are the cat lovers supposed to be bothered by the numbers? seriously, dude...where are you going with this? oh, and btw, if you did go through and count all the 22,000+ members, then i stand corrected. consider this my apology.

yes, more black men do approach me than white men. i can't remember the last time i caught a white dude "checking" me out or tryin to make a move. i don't know if it's any kind of physical apperance trait that i have. some of the men on this board have seen my pics - ask them what they think it is. my husband (a bm) has told me that black men just recognize "fine" as "fine", and they go for it...no matter what color she is. (fyi: i am in no way saying that i'm "fine" - i'm just quoting my husband)

my physical apperance - blonde hair, sapphire eyes, fair complexion. and i am married to a black man. i'm well aware that i'm not going to have blonde haired, blue-eyed babies with him. do you really think that white women are that ignorant and naive, that they'll give birth and then go into total shock on the birthing table b/c their baby doesn't look like them? :roll:

any man of any color could have an ulterior motive for desiring any woman of any color. make a point.

ummm, yeah. and when i was single there were tons of white men who truly annoyed me too...and come to think of it...there were some latin boys, asian, middle eastern, and a couple italians too.

i wouldn't necessarily call it "doubts", but before my husband and i started dating, we talked about the "hardships" that we might have to face if we decided to pursue that relationship. and we're perfectly aware of the difficulties that are children may or may not have to deal with.

dude, are we seriously talking about hair again? i don't know why black people are always obsessing over their so-called "nappy" hair. i've met alot of white people, who got some stank stuff growin' up there. hair is hair. people need to let the obsession go, already. if it's clean, i'm down.

this is such an ignorant question. beauty is in all colors - it seems like we have to constantly remind people of that on here. yes, i am attracted to white men too....christian bale, james franco (wipes drool), mark wahlberg, joaquin phoenix, david boreanaz (sp?), heath ledger, gavin rossdale...and there are plenty more! and yes if my husband was still who he is, but he was white...i'd still marry him. i love him for who he is, not for what color he is or isn't.

i have an AA Degree, a BSM (bachelors of sacred music), a minor in African American Studies, and i was accepted into grad school in an MAT (Masters of Arts in Teaching) program, but decided it wasn't time for me to go. i am also a certified chiropractic assistant, and i have taught school. so yeah, i'm well-educated and well-rounded.

anything else you'd like to ask?

 

He got hate in his blood!...

(this sh*t is f*cked up!)...he got hate in his blood...