"She is white" is their main issue

I have come over plenty of forum topics,articles,etc dealing with black men cheating on their black girlfriend WITH A WHITE WOMAN.
Now how does it come that their main issue seems to be the fact that the other woman is WHITE??? If my boyfriend cheated on me it wouldn't matter to me what race the other woman is. Cheating is cheating.He could mess with a pink woman with purple heart and I would be mad for him cheating.Lol
Then often comments like"white trash" ,"white h**s" or dumb stereotypes they have(I'm sure you can all imagine) are made.
I'm just so tired of it.

 

Probably becuase they feel as if their man is not only their property, but the property of their race. It's those women who try to act as if they are the dominant overseer of the relationship and at the same time they are the ones who are driving their men into the arms of another woman. That other woman just happens to be white.

Not to bash them in any way, but a lotta black women are on some serious power-trips as of late and I'm not the only one who has noticed this. I was in church one time and some woman was calling her husband and he didn't hear her. She called him again and he still didn't. By the third time, she called by his full name like she was his mother and he was like:"yes dear". Just sad.

 

Property of a race. Lol . Well that way of thinking also has some racist tendencies. Anyone should be able to date whoever they prefer.

 

It sounds like resentment which is an extremely difficult form of hostility to resolve because it's resistant to time and deep seeded. In situations like this, where a person says something negative about another individual, specifically targetting their ethnicity, it's usually the result of being resentful of that race.

 

Quite true, newpower. I dont think whites understand the problems that black people have with color. My ex was dark-skinned and she used to tell me stories about boys chasing the light-skinned girls and ignoring the dark skinned girls. So now they (dark and light skinned bw) have to compete with a group of women who they think are perceived to be more beautiful and desireable than them.

 

That's so silly. I mean not all men have the same likes/dislikes.Just as women have different ones.
If everyone was into the same type of man/woman all others would be single which is not the case.
Someone doesn't feel me because I'm not fitting their criteria cos of my skin color,body type,eye/hair color or whatever?? Fine, the next man won't have a problem with it.
It's actually quite simple.

 

Sure its silly, but as I said, white people dont understand black peoples problem with color.

 

yea we don't cos not all the bad things they connect with white people apply to all of us.
yesterday I read a news article on Blackplent.com with the title"Do you hate white people"
One lady kept using the words "devils","kraKKKa"(referring to the Kukuxklan) and expression of of similar nature.
And another lady said"Whites hate us so I hate them".
When I said something the article editor wrote another article with the title"Do Jews hate Germans".
So much ignorance there. That's why I like this site here better. Not so much crap

 

Well I think it is quite simple actually, some people who cheat on their girlfriend/boyfriend with female/male of another race makes it about race by telling them they rather be with this race of women cause they are better than your race. And I guess some take that and so much like we do in this country think it applies to everybody. Thus the creation of stereotype.

 

totally agreed.

however, i do believe there are a handful of whites who make an effort to want to understand the black point of view. i'm not saying that they necessarily do understand, but they are making an effort. i have found in my own experience, that in doing this - unless you are talking to an educated person - alot of blacks will put up barriers towards whites...such as "stop trying to be black", "you don't know what it's like", etc. personally, i do my best to understand peoples' points of views - their situation, what they've been through as an individual. i don't try to be anybody, but myself. i sincerely care about the human race, and i love talking about issues and concerns that the black community is faced with on a day-to-day basis.

i'm not sure what my point is, so maybe i should just shutup....hope i didn't step on your toes, jelly. i respect your opinion, so please don't be too harsh on me. :roll: :wink:

 

Wow, have I developed that kinda of reputation?

I dont have a problem with anyone giving an opinion, but I do have a problem with someone (white or black) being critical of black people. (Check out "Living in the Twilight Zone" thread under "conversations" on this site. But please, please dont revive it!) But still, I would never intentionally stifle someone else's opinion because of my own, so if I have done that to you, s-chic or anyone else, I apologize.

The issues that black women have with black men dating white women-or "white women taking black men"-is subtle and sometimes as brutal as racism itself. When society gradually instills in you that white is more desirable than black from the time that you can distinguish between the two, and then a black man chooses or falls or goes for a ww. I can see that opening an old wound for bw.

In the 50's, Kenneth Clark, a black psychologist, conducted what is known as the "doll test." (It was recreated a few years ago.) If you havent seen it, check it out on youtube. One of the saddest things you will ever see. These "kids" are already associating black with evil and bad, and white with good. You tell me, "where does that come from?"

Or if you what a more personal point of view, ask a few of the dark-skinned brothas here about the taunting they received as kids because of their complextion. I experienced it myself as a kid, but I was significantly bigger than most of the kids in my class (not to mention smarter than them) so it was kept at a minimum. Also, I was lucky in that my mom is a beautiful dark-skinned woman who taught me since I was a little crumb-snatcher that being dark-skinned was a gift and it was beautiful. She opened my eyes to the subtle nuances of racism and taught me to defend myself (physically and verbally) because I dont deserve less respect than someone else because of the color or shade of my skin.

So when I see bw get angry when they see wwbm couples, I dont fell anger back at them but compassion because I know where the feelings come from. But white women-white people cant.

But I do feel anger towards society and america itself. McCain is already talking about vouchers for charter and private schools, which would take even more money from public schools (FL cut almost 1 billion) making them even weaker and poorer than they already are. (Which is also why I could never vote conservative.)

Its kids like the ones from the "doll test," who go to the worst of the worst schools, who would suffer the most. And to me kids come before all the other bullsh*t that we vote for first such as guns, abortion, and gays in the military.

I can feel the soapbox cracking beneath my feet... lol

 

Okay maybe my 1st statement came out wrong with no background knowledge about me as a person.
I am not scared of critisicizing people of ANY race when I see ignorance. Often enough I had to say something to my sister's boyfriend when he was talking ignorant stuff and once I even raised word against a teacher I had.
My comment I didn't make to criticizing blacks but those of them who are ignorant.
My sister's boyfriend once got mad at a German celebrity to date a balck man and I gave him a fitting answer as well.

 

I often wonder myself where our associations of certain colors with other things come from.
When a loved one dies we wear black clothes. When we get married a white dress. I know countries in that it is different.

 

I understand where your coming from, because I agree, ignorance, regardless of the color should be critisized. But black women getting angry and hurt wen they see wwbm couples istnt ignorance. Those are emotions. And those emotions regarding color are something they have dealt with their whole lives, and seeing wwbm couples brings those old emotions back to the surface.

 

I understand what you say about emotions there but a bit of ignorance swings in there as well in my opinion. All those bad things that have happened cannot be undone.It's not the fault of those white women they see with a black men what has happened.The situation has already improved a lot.That's why there even are so many mixed couples. It's just a personal dating preference in MOST cases(of course there are exceptions).

 

I guess we will agree to disagree because I think your wrong. There is nothing ignorant about being devalued because of the color or the shade of your skin. (Like I said, "you will never understand because your white.") These women have lived a lifetime with that and it doesnt go away because you've gotten older or smarter.

The best analogy I can give you is battered women. Their story are similar in that they have lived a lifetime of men telling them their worthless and making them feel worthless. And you cant see their pain on the inside based on what you see on the outside.

Did you go to youtube and check out "the doll test?" Maybe it will give you a glimse into the subconcious brainwashing that blacks experience.

 

My mother's ex husband abused me.And when I was old enough to have a relationship with men those guys hurt me badly as well.Inside. Made me feel there must be something wrong with me and I wasn't worth anything but still I know NOT ALL men are that way.

 

I am really sorry about what happened to you. I HATE people who hurt kids and women. (Sorry I didnt respond yesterday, but I had to think about this...)

I glad that dispite what you went through, you are still able to have healthy relationships with men. But if the things you had went through had left you unable to have a healthy, regular relationship with men, no one would blame you or hold that against you.

 

True my 1 aunt has made similar experience and she has only dated 1 man in her whole life yet.
I'm just a very positive person,fighter when necessary,but I believe in the good and don't put people in a drawer with others if all they have in common is that they're male and in other points I'm the same way(religion,color,ethnicity,...). Nd my current relationships proves every day that I am glad to be that way

 

no, you've never been "harsh" with me...that was probably the wrong word. you're just very passionate about what you believe in - i commend you for that. i apologize if i made you feel like you had a bad rep or something....i think most people on this board respect your opinions. even if i don't always agree with you, i still respect and listen to what you have to say! :wink:

anyway, about what you said...you enlightened me. i have a different perspective on black women who have "issues" with ww/bm relationships. i guess i never looked at it from the angle that they are probably acting out of pain, frustration, emotions, etc. i guess i just always looked at it from the standpoint of "i haven't done anything to you...i'm minding my own business, so why do you have to hate on me?" throughout my life, i've always had close relationships with people of other/all races...i love people. i don't really give a crap about the color of your skin. so, when i see black women or ANYBODY for that matter, judging me and pointing fingers at me b/c i'm a white woman married to a black man - it pisses me off. i can't help that i'm white anymore than those women can help that they are black. so for people to hate me, and disapprove of something i'm doing is just....it's just not right. it's not right for anybody to place such judgment on another person, solely based on their race. that's the point of view i'm coming from. so in reality, i guess my emotional viewpoint has sometimes blocked me from seeing from anothers' emotional viewpoint.

however, i think one of the underlying issues is that we can't let emotions dictate to us what is right and wrong. racism is wrong regardless of who it's coming from, or what they've been through. example - for the longest time i had serious issues with older white people b/c of the racist sting i've felt from so many of them. i guess in a sense, i had a prejudice attitude toward most of them, w/out knowing squat about them. i was emotional, it pissed me off. but over the past 3 years or so, (through lots of prayer) i've had to put my emotions aside, my pre-conceived ideas aside, and give those little old white people a chance. and praise God, i have been blessed enough to now have quite a few supportive old white people in my life. yeah, it sounds silly i know...but it's true.

i guess the point i'm making, is regardless of what a person has been through, racism still isn't right. i've had tons of whites tell me that they don't agree with IR or they "don't trust black men" b/c of bad experiences they've had with blacks. while i can understand where they might be coming from, i still think it's a load of crap. it's not fair to every black man that these people come in contact with to be first judged/hated just b/c they've had bad experiences with other blacks. it's a riduculous way of thinking. so, while i can understand where some of the hatred/frustration is coming from with some black women, i still don't think it's a valid excuse. i'm more than willing to modify my "attitude" toward black women...but i believe some of them need to do the same.