I'd like your opinion on this. A couple of months ago, I was walking out of my house towards my car. I was moving out of my house and getting boxes from my car. It was also like -20 degrees outside. Also, I live in a very middle-class neighborhood, with different ethnicities. So, I see a black guy walking on the sidewalk towards me, on my side of the street. I look at him, and think, that guy is crazy for walking in this weather. Then I go about my business and don't give him another thought. So, I get what I need out of the car and when I turn around to walk back to my front door, I see the same guy, several houses past mine now, crossing the street BACK towards the side of the street I was on. I looked at him as he walked away and I realized that I didn't see him walking past me. So, I can only conclude that he saw me, and since I didn't give him any friendly gesture like a smile (I had about a billion things on my mind that day - none of which had anything to do with him) he crossed the street and walked past my house on the opposite side of the street. I felt a kind of sadness that he felt he had to do this. It's not like I turned around and screamed and ran back into my house. I just saw him and never gave him a second thought. When I relayed that story to some friends of mine the other day, a girl said that when she walks her dog in Chicago, the black guys give her a wide berth until she smiles and says hi to them, then they walk past her like normal. She smiles at every guy who passes her, but she says the black guys are the only ones who walk way around her. Is this a phenomenon that happens alot? Do you guys feel safer doing that? I'm so not understanding why this happened. So, I guess I'd like some insight as to why it did. Thanks!
It's not so that we feel safe. it's so that YOU feel safe.. black men in america, have been given such a badboy rep.. every prison movie you see, features tons of black guys.. you always hear or read about our fellow brothas killin each other on the street.. etc etc.. so.. when they see you, they give you more space, so that you don't feel "threatened by another angry black man" or.. maybe they're doing it, out of their own safety, as you suggested.. or.. maybe they feel animosity towards white people..and do not want to be near you, unless you flash a warm smile and make them feel at ease or maybe you could actually approach a black guy, who crosses the street, and ask him why he's trippin as for me.. whenever I'm walkin around the hood after hours (12 am or later), I keep my distance from people, to make them feel safe. I know if someone rolls up on me real close, afterdark, I'm going to feel a certain way and maybe do something to shake my man off me. You never know what someone's thinkin.
Good advice. Next time I notice that, I'll ask the black guy why he's trippin'. :wink: This did happen at like 10 a.m. And I live in a very benign suburb of Chicago. It must have been the vibe I was giving off. Since that time, I've made a very conscious effort to flash my winning smile at all people. Of course, I have been told in the past that I seem mad at people all the time. I thought I had changed that, but maybe that expression slips back from time to time. Well, everyone should feel they have a right to walk on a sidewalk. I hope that's not a trend I will continue to see. Thanks, Petty!
One thing I noticed is.. this doesn't happen frequently but... Sometimes when I'm at the a store shopping grocery/Target-type stores.... I notice that when there's a WW shopping in the isle by herself and she sees me make eye contact with her, she moves from where she was standing and keeps moving until she's gone from the isle. Don't flame me for that comment because I'm not generalizing or reading into things. I have no hard feelings towards WW in any way. I just noticed it happens frequently. And when this happens, it's not like I'm looking for a product that she's standing in front of. I'm not even paying her much attention but I notice that they sometimes will leave the isle immediately after I show up. Is it a coincidence? Who knows. Am I being paranoid? Well, you can call it what you want but basically, it seems like some of the women become uncomfortable and they immediately walk away from what they were looking at. Not shortly after, but right away. As if I disturbed their peace by showing up and hanging around them looking for products right next to them. Anyways, for the WW reading this post, please don't get angry or pissed. I'm just making an observation. Maybe its misunderstood, maybe its true to some extent.
Yeah pettyofficerj hit it right on the head (with me and my boys anyway.) with the whole safe thing and black guys having that reputation of scaring white folks, you don't give us nothin first most of the time we are going to be cautious. It is like I said with the whole attraction thing with us, most brothas won't approach a ww unless they know or have some kind of hint that the girl is into them. Every now and then you'll get them brothas that don't care and will just try to holla at you whether you interested or not, takened or not like my boy :lol: he a trip.
i'm not saying walk around with a permanent "Chester Cheetah" grin, like you're hopped up on anti-depressants.. but.. you know, some black people I guess, never had REAL contact with white people, and just do not know how to approach certain situations... or, if they did have contact, it wasn't a positive learning experience.. so, they do what they do, and cross streets or jump fences, when a white girl is about to walk near them... don't forget that black people in general, have as much potential to be just as racist and prejudiced as certain (not all) white people, and simply won't go near any which could be the case with SoCal guy, in a reversed scenario; where the white women try to avoid him btw.. why were you lookin back at the guy in the first place? did you like lookin at him? or were you simply lookin in the direction of where he was going; only conjuring up ideas about why he crossed the street afterwards
I'm not offended or mad in any way. I feel really bad that it's happened actually. That's really sh*tty. From the posts I've read from you, you seem like a pretty stand-up guy, so I can't see how you would get that reaction.
I don't know. I kind of thought walking around with a Chester Cheetah grin was a good thing. It's not?? :wink: Dammit! Back to the drawing board. HA HA. He's way too young for me, so I wasn't looking at him to "look" at him. Just more of a hey, someone's walking on the sidewalk in -20 degree weather, he's insane kind of look. And yeah, when I turned around, I was looking at him walking away from me. So, that's all. I don't even remember what he looks like.
maybe you're lookin in to this matter too much.. perhaps he kept changing sidewalks because he wasn't sure if his destination was to the left, or to the right mind you, the next time I do something like that, I will gladly and prompty ask you for permission and explain why I need to frequently change which side of the street i'm walkin on :wink:
considering my phone got disconnected, you're going to be in for a long wait j/k I fall into that category sometimes. Usually, I will try to make mutual eye contact with a white girl ( any girl, for that matter), and read their facial reaction before doing anything. If they smile, I'll be more willing to engage in a convo. If they don't smile, but on the same hand, do not try to avoid me, I may still start something up. Most white girls that I been around (at places like work, school, stores), have been willing to behave like any other girl around me. The last time I ran across openly prejudice white girls, was when I was much younger, in grade school.
It also might be because lots of whites act like the are scared of blacks or see black men as invisible and subhuman and so they dont pay them attention, so he wanted to get out of the way of a hostile or indifferent white person. I have felt that before
I don't care what race a person is, but it does depend on the neighborhood I may be walking in/through, the time of day, and the body language of the person(s) involved. And my pet peeve....aggressive guys who can't take no for an answer and yell out a greeting to a total stranger. More subtle does it for me.
I've done that before. (What you were talking about). It was because I thought he was attractive and I didn't want to embarrass myself, like start drooling, or have him notice me staring at him (I couldn't help it, because he was so handsome.) and because I'm shy and attached, I thought that could be awkward. So I just left the isle. Then oogled him from afar, inconspicuously, heh.
Sometimes I like to "zigzag" on either side of a small (with no traffic) road (to both sidewalks), just for the fun of it... "Simple minds, simple pleasures." :smt003 Maybe he was just bored? :smt102 Or trying to distract himself from the cold by not just walking in a straight line which doesn't take as much thought as zigzagging from one sidewalk on one side of a road to the other.... Hmmm...
