Well my boyfriend and I are 20 years old and sophomores at our local community college. I'm a WW and he is a BM, we've been together over a year (but known each other all through High School). His family and I get along really well, but my family on the other hand does not. They don't like him because of his color, and will not even meet him. They don't even know the things that make him a "good guy". He's a full time student, goes to church twice a week (AND teaches childrens church), never done drugs, smoked, or been drunk. They just see his color. My parents and I have been in multiple fights on the subject, and as a result have lost all communication. It's to the point now where I haven't spoken more than 10 words to them in the past month. They even went on a vacation without me. The sad part is my parents specifically told me why they don't accept it. "What will the community think of us?" They don't want anyone to know we are together so he is not even allowed to pick me up, much less come on my street. And now, they are trying to break me down by telling me things like, "What if people don't accept you because of this?", "You're being selfish. This family is falling apart because you won't end it with him", and my personal favorite, "You'll feel the consequences of your actions one day". The thing of it is, they're the ones who are tearing this family apart because they care more about their "image" than my hapiness. They're the ones being selfish. Thanks so much, Amber
Giving up college would be a huge mistake. Don't put a partner in front of your career, unless you're married. Get through school, cause college is the new 'high school', meaning the requirements of the workforce nowadays are much higher w/ pretty much all decent jobs requiring a degree or technical training/lisencing of some sort. So, finish school, try to work things out with your parents and your partner and take it from there. Sounds tough but that's life and we all do our best to cope. Good luck.
Thanks for the advice. I appreciate knowing there are people that support us. The sad part is that my parents and I used to be very close, until this. Now that I have seen this part of them, I have lost a good majority of respect for them. And you know the best part? THEY'RE an IR couple. My mom is a WW and my step-dad is full blooded Native-American (most times he is mistaken for Hispanic/Mexican because of his color!). I thought maybe they were just trying to protect me from it or something, but then they became more angry than worried.
Get through school and leave time. Remind your parents of the REAL reason that kept them together. I trust it was LOVE and not RACE. When it comes to IRs time is the only thing that makes things right. If this relationship is meant to last then let it last on the basis of love alone and nothing else. Nothing else being that you don't have a point to prove to your family. Not all college relationships go the whole nine yards. We can live without our cars, monies and what not. But we cannot live without love. The completeness of love covers not just your life partner but family and friends. Its a give and take from both sides. Those who wont give are best left behind. Family rifts are almost always mended. Stay strong. Show maturity. don't ever let anyone break you down. Ever. Also the fact that you background is IR means they are stuck in the past when it was difficult for them. The world has since changed and they could simply be harbouring uncalled for fears for their baby girl.
It crossed my mind that they might have been trying to protect you from their experiences in their IR, but the fact that they won't have any dealing with him b/c of his skin completely erases that notion. This part saddens me because it was not that long ago that my gf had to deal with the same bullshit from her parents/community. Just continue doing what makes you happy/opens more career opportunities for you.
You two go to HCC????? I got friends who go to one of the campuses. I go to the Art Institute. Do your parents live in Katy or something? Outside of the suburbs, here in the city limits, I've seen so many interracial relationships it's crazy. I haven't seen many places here in H-town where people seem against it openly, so maybe your parents are scared for no reason. Perhaps try to remind them of that, see if it could help. It's a tough situation. My parents don't exactly approve of my relationships either, however they're 1900 miles away so I don't have to worry about them actually seeing any of my boyfriends just yet. Not until I find a really special one and I or him has money for a plane ticket to visit my parents. Thankfully, while they're not happy with my choices, they are slowly coming to realize they are -my- choices and they can't change them. I respect you for not throwing the relationship away instantly at the first sign of problems with your parents. a lot of girls I meet here in Houston who don't date outside their race generally use their parents or grandparents as the excuse, and it annoys me. There's not much you can do, though. You can hope they'll come around eventually, you can try to talk to them, reason with them, but if they're hardcore set against it, it could be years...or never. I'm sorry you're dealing with this crap. Parents can be so stupid sometimes.
This doesn't suprise me one bit. Native americans are very racist against Blacks..especially BM. The Cherokkkee didn't even free any of their slaves when they were forced onto the so-called "trail of tears".. You'd think they'd see the wrong they were doing while so much wrong was being done to them...but that's wasn't the case. When the Seminole found out they were in line to recieve billions from Uncle Sam..THEY KICKED ALL THE BLACKS OUT OF THE TRIBE. They let the Whites stay...suck-ass mofos.
VVovv... didn't knovv that. It makes me sad. It's like jevvs ppl... they had holocaust and everything and then vvent to israel and tried to kick ppl from ther avvay... BTVV. Amby: I don't have siggestions than keep being vviht him if u really love him. He really loves you. If he didn't he vvouldn't even stand not to be able to come and pick u up etc. It's crazy. Be strong and I hope they vvill accept it...
Amby, how are things now? My situation was a lot like yours. My mom was worried senseless about what everyone in town would think. I was "most certainly not raised to do things like this!"
