Have you ever been fetishized or felt like you were being fetishized by a black man or white woman?

Discussion in 'Conversations Between White Women and Black Men' started by 4north1side2, Nov 8, 2022.

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  1. 4north1side2

    4north1side2 Well-Known Member

    How did that make you feel? How did you react?
     
    4north1side2, Nov 8, 2022
    #1
  2. beccaomecca

    beccaomecca Well-Known Member

    Is fetishized even a word? I can’t say the word without sounding like I’ve got a lisp or something.

    The only time I remotely felt this way was when I’d done a big ass hike from the cliffs into the city. Unbeknown to me, the sexy American navy or whatever the heck they were were in town lol. I power walked past one with a beautiful face and solid body (yes I paid attention even though I was zooming by), I couldn’t help but look back haha and he had done the same (we had a moment).

    I walked around the block wishing all Australian men looked like that lol and then ran into him again, he gave me the biggest smile and I’m pretty sure I went bright red!!

    I don’t know if he was fetishizing lol but I guess I was (envisioning him handcuffed in my basement whipping him) hahah jks!

    I would say I had a moment of lusting, but maybe not fetishizing, because I feel that would mean I didn’t see him as a person more like an object to use for some form of kink.

    I can’t say if he was fetishizing either, he was probably more like what’s this crazy white bish doing power walking at 4am haha.

    I felt weak because black men are my krypronite :p
     
    beccaomecca, Nov 9, 2022
    #2
  3. Rollx007

    Rollx007 Well-Known Member

    Fetishized is honestly a silly word used, I won't be able to take the question seriously LMAO.

    But like kryptonite is definitely what I'd call that
     
    Rollx007, Nov 9, 2022
    #3
  4. Rollx007

    Rollx007 Well-Known Member

    I don't think it's really a thing when it comes to genuine attraction or having a preference.
     
    Rollx007, Nov 9, 2022
    #4
  5. beccaomecca

    beccaomecca Well-Known Member

    I don’t think fetishised because that’s more of not liking that person as a whole but liking them for what pleasurable adventures they can take you on based off your own selfish needs.

    I think lust is the word, you can only lust over someone you’ve just come into contact with that sparks your interest.
     
    beccaomecca, Nov 9, 2022
    #5
  6. Tamstrong

    Tamstrong Administrator Staff Member

    "Fetishized" is more of a slang term, so whether or not it's a real word is immaterial. There's also more to it than your typical definition of a sexual fetish when it comes to race or interracial pairings. The biggest issue is that people who "fetishize" people in this sense reduce them to something base and trashy, usually based on degrading and offensive stereotypes and bullshit. In their minds the only possible kind of "attraction" between black men and white women is based on those things, and never on any genuine or serious connection between them. It's a lot more common than people evidently realize, and that kind of crap pops up on this site on a regular basis. It's disturbing to say the least.

    A few examples that come to mind (often seen on the site— all trashy and/or offensive):

    • The "BBC" fixation. Dudes that show up on here bragging about the size of their dicks (or posting pics of them), and the women who show up announcing that's what they're looking for is downright gross. Some of them even include "BBC" in their users names. SMH Use of that acronym is never a positive sign if the person using it claims to have genuine interest in IR dating; it's a big ass red flag and not a good look by any means. Just an FYI, people with genuine interest should eliminate that crap from their vocabulary if they want to be taken seriously by other genuine people.
    • The so-called "Hot Wife"/cuckold couple thing. Many of them also like to throw the "BBC" crap around, and they tend to refer to all black men as "bulls". They automatically assume that a site specifically for BM/WW could only be for that purpose.
    • The spade tattoo. Marking your body with an advertisement announcing who you fuck or want to fuck screams "fetishization", point blank.
    • People who behave in stereotypical ways in effort to impress or get the attention of someone who is a different race. It's one thing if someone is being who the hell they are, but when a person is putting on an act pretending to be someone they're not, it's something else entirely. They're making fools of themselves, and they're basically mocking whoever it is they think they're acting like.
    • Dudes who think dating white women (or other non-black women) elevates their social status somehow. They often use it as a means to gain a more "privileged" position in life. They tend to look down on other black people in general, yet contradict themselves by claiming to be pro-black man (or pro-interracial) when their words and actions say otherwise. A lot of them sound like they don't even really like women, and many come across as though they think women (and the world) owe them something. It's not even a sexual thing, but it's still a type of "fetishization".
    • People who see IR dating as some type of novelty. They do it to be "different" and for the attention it gets them.
    I try to pay close attention to people's vibes and behavior, and I try to avoid the types of people who "fetishize" BM or WW like the plague. Of course age and experience have made the red flags more noticeable. I've encountered some creepy ass people over the years with questionable interest in my interracial love life, and a few dudes looking for the 'white woman experience', and I'm always quick to shut that shit down.

    I've never viewed BM in a "fetishized" way myself. I've always had nothing but genuine love/attraction for BM, and I would never show them such disrespect.
     
    Tamstrong, Nov 9, 2022
    #6
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  7. orejon4

    orejon4 Well-Known Member

    I've had a few surprises slip out of a woman's mouth while we were together in the moment, and it kind of surprised me, but never something that happened on a sustained basis. I probably wouldn't be with a woman who expressed that repeatedly.
     
    orejon4, Nov 10, 2022
    #7
  8. breanna03

    breanna03 Active Member

    I don't know if I'd call it "fetishized", but the guy I'm hooking up with right now tends to love talking to me in a certain type of way. He was pretty forward with me when we were just talking. I thought it was hot tbh, and he hasn't pushed it too far. I could see pushing it too far as being cringy though.

    [​IMG]
     
    breanna03, Nov 10, 2022
    #8
  9. Tony Soprano

    Tony Soprano Moderator

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    Tony Soprano, Nov 10, 2022
    #9
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  10. beccaomecca

    beccaomecca Well-Known Member

    beccaomecca, Nov 10, 2022
    #10
  11. beccaomecca

    beccaomecca Well-Known Member

    Hell you had me fooled with your display pics!! All I saw was a crazy fit, pretty and tanned woman lol. If you’re considered pale I’m considered invisible lol.

    Men over here are submissive LOL the women have bigger balls than them! You wouldn’t catch a man here being that direct. I do find it attractive that American men (the ones I’ve encountered) ooze confidence and are very direct about their wants and needs.
     
    beccaomecca, Nov 10, 2022
    #11
  12. Shulz021

    Shulz021 Well-Known Member

    Shulz021, Nov 11, 2022
    #12
  13. Ra

    Ra Well-Known Member


    Add Pick Me Karens to the example list. These are white women who clearly don't know, much less like, black folks overall but will "date" any black men they believe have money or social status. Basically the white woman version of the black men who date white women to elevate their social status.
     
    Ra, Feb 18, 2023
    #13
  14. Tamstrong

    Tamstrong Administrator Staff Member

    Ah. yes. How could I forget the cringey Pick Me Karen types when they definitely belong on the list of common fetishiezers. Agreed, they do have a lot in common—evidently both groups think of themselves as somehow superior since they're so "different". :rolleyes:
     
    Tamstrong, Feb 18, 2023
    #14
  15. Ra

    Ra Well-Known Member

    Careful now. You don't want to end up being labeled as a jealous hater by self appointed betters.....:confused:
     
    Ra, Feb 18, 2023
    #15
  16. Tamstrong

    Tamstrong Administrator Staff Member

    Oh no—how will I ever survive being labeled a jealous hater by a bunch of textbook narcissist poster children?!? :p Hell, they pretty much slap that label on everyone who doesn't agree that the world should or does revolve around them and whatever image they think they are portraying. lol
     
    Tamstrong, Feb 18, 2023
    #16
  17. orejon4

    orejon4 Well-Known Member

    I notice these types of couples whenever I see them. They always give off a weird sort of 'not at ease with oneself' sort of vibe, in my opinion.
     
    orejon4, Nov 4, 2024
    #17
  18. Ray0407

    Ray0407 New Member

    I have fetishes of white women and actually proactively, periodically, manifest conversations to test their interest. I think it is the lusting after what is in most cases disdained and hated on. I would have a fwb arrangement with a white woman before I engage in a fullfledge relationship. I need to feel that it is worth the scrutiny.
     
    Ray0407, Dec 16, 2024 at 8:55 PM
    #18
  19. orejon4

    orejon4 Well-Known Member

    Damn, this guy got right to the point. LOL
     
    orejon4, Dec 16, 2024 at 9:01 PM
    #19
  20. Ray0407

    Ray0407 New Member

    Lol! This IS a safe space for direct conversation, correct?
     
    Ray0407, Dec 16, 2024 at 9:06 PM
    #20
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