No ordinary love, A 24-YEAR-OLD woman fell in love with a man 44 years older than her

Jul 4 2021


A 24-YEAR-OLD woman fell in love with a man 44 years older than her, despite other people assuming that she's with him for his money.

Conni Cotten, 24, met her now fiancé, Herb Dickerson, 68, in 2018 when the two of them were volunteering at the homeless shelter where he worked.

The couple, from Charlottesville, Virginia, USA, moved in together within four months and got engaged last year while Conni was celebrating 18 months of sobriety.

She said: "People were shocked when we got together. The most common comment I get is people thinking that I'm with him for money, they think it's a sugar daddy relationship or they think he's with me just for sex because I'm a younger woman.

"My family were shocked initially and they weren't a fan of the relationship. They were concerned for my safety but they've accepted him over time because they can trust him and how happy he makes me. They love him like family now. "

Farm worker Conni said she felt an instant attraction to Herb and this grew as they bonded over their recoveries from substance abuse.

She said: "We were both in recovery and that's what really drew me to him.

"He proposed in 2020 as I was celebrating 18 months sober. You get a medallion to mark the time but he gave me a ring instead.

"I started flirting with him and he was really surprised.

"We started spending time together. It moved pretty quickly from there."

Herb added: "I didn't know what to think at first. It was a bit unusual that she was flirting with me and I was on the job at the time.

"I don't know why she was attracted to me but she came on really strong.

"My family said she was too young and some people said she wanted money but they've come around over time.

"I lived with her parents for a year throughout lockdown so they got to know me really well.

"We're from two different races so it was a culture shock as well.

The couple's loved ones are now convinced that the pair are in a loving relationship

"She has a completely different energy compared to women my age. She's really outgoing."

Conni admitted she does worry about the future and how much time she might have left with Herb but wants to make the most of the time they do have together.

She said: "I have thought about the fact that Herb might not be around for as long as me but I would rather spend the time we have together than give it up.

"There are so many benefits to being with an older man. I want a simple life with no games or complications. I just want a life full of family and happiness.

"Herb has said to me that one benefit of being with a younger woman is that I still have aspirations and goals.

"I'm really goal driven and lots of women his age may not have goals anymore."

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.th...19190/woman-marry-68-man-44-year-age-gap/amp/

 

They both look happy as hell. lol

 

God bless them and may they share many more milestones over the decades to come!!!

 

Man, this old player is crushin' the game. Many of y'all young black dudes can't get a WW that cute. Team Viagra FTW! LOL

 

I wonder how her family would feel

 

Dude married his future homecare aide. Not mad at him, still odd though.

 

I'm totally fine with big age gaps as long as people realize what they're in for. A 68 year old (based on the article) is still a mostly capable person. They go out to do stuff, they travel, etc. 68 is not that old in the sense that people who are 68 often still lead normal, active lives.

But 78? 88? For most people, the body is really starting to slow down at that point. In 10-20 years, that woman will be in her 30s and 40s, and her husband will either be dead (hope not!) or (more likely) substantially less mobile than he is now. She has to be prepared to take care of him.

This can even be a problem with much smaller age gaps like 10-15 years or so. The difference between a 30 year old and 45 year old is not huge -- both 30 and 45 year olds can be highly active, doing prime-of-their-life stuff like strenuous outdoor activity and lots of work -- so it seems fine for those two people to get married. But once they age 40 years, a 70 and 85 year old are often in very different places in terms of their bodies. Not always, but often.

Again, as long as people think that through and know what they're getting into, I think it's totally fine once you're 24+ and out of college, in the real world, etc. And in this case, it does seem like this woman has thought of that. No complaints here!

 

That's a Hugh Hefner move... on both their parts if you know what I mean. LOL. Congrats to them though I can't really hate when I been substantially older than most of my GFs including my love with me now.

 

Mad props to the happy couple. Situations like this should give all you brothas some hope no matter how old you might be. Even if it was an older White Woman with a younger Black Man. It's all the same as long as there is a mutual understanding between the two.

Charlottesville though??? That's the part that REALLY cracks me up. The irony is hilarious. One of them tiki-torch carrying muthafuckas will probably see this couple together and be mad as hell and can't do shit about it. Lol

 

Girl was in treatment at 24 years of age, her family probably helped drive her to drugs or drink in the first place.

 

They look very much in love. I am happy for them.

 

Well this changed my view on dating

 

How so?

 

I'm not scared to dating a women in their mid 20s ever though it would make women around my age (42) upset

 

Homeboy has won the lottery of having a young woman who is loving him. That is so rare.

 

They look like they star in a new RomCom on Disney+ about Nick Fury and Captain Marvel.

 

I would not care

 

I have no problem with age differences in dating, to each their own. My main issue is a double standard in which the couple in question is an older woman with a younger man, they get criticized more. Older women seem to be ridiculed and scorned for expressing any sexuality beyond youth years, including any dating, especially dating younger men, but it is more acceptable for an older man to date younger women.

Have seen it here on this forum, more props were given to this guy and the young woman, but other threads featuring an older women with younger men, the women are ridiculed. Cultures still tell older women to pack it up when they are 40 and older, that they do not deserve love or pleasure beyond that, and it is too late. The only exceptions are if she is an ex model or celebrity or something like that, where she can afford plastic surgery and such to ward off with signs of aging, and to conform to beauty standards.

Again, to me it is fine for an older guy to date a younger woman, I will not get mad, but I do get mad when society tries to tell older women they cannot date a guy of any age, especially a younger guy because of her age.

 

What do you think of the Canadian and European women who go to African and Caribbean islands who have fun with young Black men? I never set foot there for that reason.

 

That is their business, what do you think of men who go to Asian or other countries to have fun? some of the guys on this forum have made trips for fun with women, some have gone to Australia and enjoyed the attention they got there.

I would not let a few women in the Caribbean stop you from going if you want, just tell them no thanks and move on. Not all the women are there for that I imagine, some might have family there. And many of the men like the attention from them, and some of the men scam the women, and some of them harass the women, and some of the women do not like it, so it goes both ways.

Many of those type of relationships that is described, between Caribbean and African men and white women is not real, the men are trying to get green cards, or money, or what eve else, so those who blame the women going there, saying they are exploiting the men, well there is exploitation going both ways, the men are exploiting the women, telling them they like them and such for money etc, well that is going into a whole other thing. Then there are a few of those relationships that do turn out to be genuine. For me, I want to be sure a guy wants me, not my money or whatever else he might perceive that I have, or what I might represent, and vice versa, I may may lust after a guy, but I also look for good qualities, not stereotypes.