Parents with Dementia or Alzheimer's

Discussion in 'Conversations Between White Women and Black Men' started by Tamstrong, Jun 20, 2013.

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  1. Tamstrong

    Tamstrong Administrator Staff Member

    Thank you, Loki, I appreciate that! :freehug:

    BTW, you're awesome too! :smt058
     
    Tamstrong, Jul 9, 2013
    #21
  2. orejon4

    orejon4 Well-Known Member

    Hang in there, Tam. You've got strength to spare, so I know you'll pull through this. And having just one person to help shoulder the emotional burden, even a little bit, will help. Share it, talk about it, with your son, other family members, friends, whomever. Just know that you have friends and you're not alone.
     
    orejon4, Jul 9, 2013
    #22
  3. Tamstrong

    Tamstrong Administrator Staff Member

    Thanks, Ore. I'm trying...to be honest, I don't feel all that strong these days. I guess I'm so used to taking care of everyone, that I don't know how to handle not being able to do anything about the situation. I know I have no control over what's happening to him, but what I know and how I feel are kind of slapping me around between them.

    It has been a big help to talk about it on here. I appreciate all the support, love, and encouragement, and I definitely know that I'm not alone in what I'm going through.
     
    Tamstrong, Jul 9, 2013
    #23
  4. orejon4

    orejon4 Well-Known Member

    Do what you can when you can. Try to keep them active to stave off the deterioration. Inactivity is the thing you should avoid to the extent possible.
     
    orejon4, Jul 9, 2013
    #24
  5. JamahlSharif

    JamahlSharif Well-Known Member

    My grandma has dementia, and has been in a nursing home for a few years now; as it progressed to that point that we could no longer care for her at home. Just found out early Monday morning that she has a severe case of pneumonia, which she isn't expected to make it through. We all knew this day was coming, but I had no idea how much it would hurt. I love my grandma sooo much...she's done more for me that both of my parents put together. This is gonna be really rough for me...
     
    JamahlSharif, Jul 17, 2013
    #25
  6. Ches

    Ches Well-Known Member

    Awww. So sorry to hear that, J. Will keep you and your family in my prayers. Nice to see you posting again, but sad that you're hurting. :freehug:
     
    Ches, Jul 17, 2013
    #26
  7. JamahlSharif

    JamahlSharif Well-Known Member

    Thank you, I appreciate it. I just been busy last month or so...I'm transitioning from this job, into another facility. Had to make sure the "passing of the baton" happens as seamlessly as possible. But yeah, I'm hurting BIG TIME. I don't even think I can cry anymore at this point...
     
    JamahlSharif, Jul 17, 2013
    #27
  8. Tamstrong

    Tamstrong Administrator Staff Member

    Sorry to hear that, IAM. Y'all are in my prayers. :smt056
     
    Tamstrong, Jul 18, 2013
    #28
  9. Tamstrong

    Tamstrong Administrator Staff Member

    Today was the first time due to my work schedule that I got to visit my dad since a couple of days after he was released from the hospital last month. I almost lost it when I saw how bad he looked. I didn't want to upset him, so I said a little prayer and did my best not break down in front of him. All I wanted to do was cry.

    He looks like he's aged 20 years since his hospital stay (he was already physically and mentally older than his 63 years prior to that!!!). To see him so frail in body and mind when he used to be so strong hurts like hell. I miss my daddy so much, and seeing the old, helpless man this shit has turned him into breaks my heart. :smt010
     
    Tamstrong, Mar 10, 2014
    #29
  10. Tamstrong

    Tamstrong Administrator Staff Member

    After almost 2 decades of suffering, my daddy is gone. :(


    I love you, Daddy, and even though losing you hurts like crazy, I hope you are now resting in sweet, beautiful peace. ?
     
    Tamstrong, Sep 25, 2018
    #30
  11. darkcurry

    darkcurry Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear that. Sending you my condolences @Tamstrong
     
    darkcurry, Sep 25, 2018
    #31
  12. DudeNY12

    DudeNY12 Well-Known Member

    Tam, my sincerest condolences to you and your family! Losing a parent hits like a ton of bricks, but I can imagine part of you is relieved that your Dad is no longer suffering. Big hugs to you.
     
    DudeNY12, Sep 25, 2018
    #32
  13. K

    K Well-Known Member

    ((((((((((Tam))))))))))))
     
    K, Sep 25, 2018
    #33
  14. Beasty

    Beasty Well-Known Member

    Sorry for your loss Tam.
     
    Beasty, Sep 25, 2018
    #34
  15. Madeleine

    Madeleine Well-Known Member

    Madeleine, Sep 25, 2018
    #35
  16. Loki

    Loki Well-Known Member

    Tam, as I always say, you are awesome and eloquent. Sending big hugs and love in your time of loss. Below are two of my favorite quotes about awesome Dad's, sounds like yours qualifies.

    1. “I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.” ?Foucault’s Pendulum, by Umberto Eco
    2. “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” ?Mark Twain
     
    Loki, Sep 25, 2018
    #36
  17. JordanC

    JordanC Well-Known Member

    So sorry Tam. :(
     
    JordanC, Sep 26, 2018
    #37
  18. Ra

    Ra Well-Known Member

    Condolences.

    As always, hit me up if you just want to cry or vent.
     
    Ra, Sep 26, 2018
    #38
  19. Loki

    Loki Well-Known Member

    Good to see you post again Jordan, hope you are well.
     
    Loki, Sep 26, 2018
    #39
  20. missshyness

    missshyness Active Member

    Sorry for your loss Tam, I have a very soft blanket that I find very comforting, wish I could extend to you through the forum, it reminds me of family lost to dementia too.

    just take sometime to deal with th sadness, hope you do feel better in the long run.
     
    missshyness, Sep 26, 2018
    #40
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