Is your attraction exclusively toward ww/bm?

I feel where you are coming from but it's not in regards with in white women only, it's white people in general. The older I get, the harder they are to trust. After witnessing so many white people have so much hatred, rage, disrespect, and commit injustice after injustice against minorities over the years, I have lost a lot of faith in them.


No matter how open and "I love all people" a white person says they are, that white superiority complex always linger and it will rear it's ugly head eventually. It sucks feeling this way because I met many truly wonderful white people in my life but I can't even say it's just a few bad apples, it's a damn lot that's fucking it up for everyone!

 

I totally hear you. It's difficult because you don't want to paint everyone with a broad brush because it's no everyone but here's my dilemma 63 million Americans most of them white voted for a guy who declared open season on all non white people. How do you get past that mentally because that means millions of people are A ok with us needlessly suffering.
This election alone is gonna take me some time to heal.
It's a damn struggle and I don't want to feel uncomfortable or distrustful but it's getting to a point where I'm hyper aware of even conversations or bumping into to people in the street. Will this lead to a cop being called that will end my life on the scene?
It's so weird because the worst part about this is I grew up with white kids who I loved and loved me. My best friend when I was 12 actually saved my life from drowning. Another when I was 16 risked his life for me took a life threatening beating.
I know there are amazing white people out there but the dilemma comes when I can't trust that they won t allow shitty people into their life. Every racist has a family and not every part of that family is racist.

 

How does your current lady feel about your support or does she have the same feelings as you about IR between bm and ww?

 

She doesn't care or at least it never came up. She knows my history and she's cool with it

 

My take: niether white or black women understand our plight as bm, but that's something I realized a long time ago. It doesn't cross my mind anymore.

I've had a lot of these conversations that we have here with older successful and intelligent black women early on. I've also had plenty of bw in my life as well as ww.

As we get older we discover more and learn more about ourselves. As long as you see whats best for you, its all good.

 

I think woc are more in tune with what we go through because they have fathers brothers cousins as well as their own struggles. For a lot of white people this shit is a spectator sport that they can turn off and on when it suits them. Not their fault it's just reality unless they are exceptionally empathetic.
Like I said this is just for me I support everyone else's choices even if it doesn't match up with my own.

 

The difference is that you think logic applies for this, I don't........lol

 

Until a certain point and as long as of course we only date black women, specifically brownskin or darkskinned bw. They are their for bw more than ww when it comes to unarmed black men getting gunned down by police by far! But when it comes to success, climbing the ranks in a white man's world, freedom, pressure form society and media and love. They only care about themselves when it comes to those things. And stereotype us more than ww do by this "image" they want us to live up to instead of just letting us be our own men, tupac touched on that in his letter to Madonna. But when ww are TRULY dedicated and love black men, from what I have seen they are willing to do more than at least American BW, like that whitenaijagirl I posted on this site before. American BW would say she is culture appropriating, but Emes probably know more about Naija Culture than most bw than would come at her(Kind of the same can go for Rachel Dolezal.). She live it, something they wouldn't want to do, but want to claim black culture. A lot of black culture they care and know about is street culture, hood, thugging and whatever rappers tell them.

For me and I don't know how the ww here who are open to dating white men(or do.), but I would probably take my chances with those girls that claim they are only into black men. Because at least if I find one that(and I have hopefully) actually means it and it ain't based on physical attractions. Like whitenaijagirl, someone that open minded and dedicated to the relationship and what comes with dating black men and understand what a black man especially in America will be facing for being with them.

 

Well like I've said I spent the vast majority of my dating life with ww and the reality is most are decent and kind human beings who dont think much about race even when dating someone who isn't white. They still see the world from their experience only. They can empathize when their partner is hurting and wants them to feel better but lack understanding. I can't stress enough I really don't blame them because from their point of view from what they see daily there isn't a race problem, especially where I live where nearly everyone is doing pretty ok. A bunch of well educated professionals with good salaries nice homes and whose biggest complaints are nagging student loan debt that doesn't really curb their lifestyle. Again only speaking from my experience but when that's all they know it's difficult to think otherwise, but I need someone who thinks otherwise. One thing I love about my girl is we both come from immigrants and grew up with a certain mentality that can't be reproduced unless you go through it and for me I need a partner who sees where I'm coming from without question.

Also want to address the stand by your man and help him rise point you brought up. Up until recently I have never not once been with anyone who gave two shits about my career and how I climbed the ranks. Didn't matter how young or how old didn't matter socio-economic situations or even race (dated a black woman for nearly a year) the only thing they cared about is if I had money to support our dating lifestyle. Personally I think that is the attitude of most women unless they truly see themselves with you for life otherwise it's only about being entertained and well fed.

 

Lol well from experience it does. There's a worldly and global thinking when you date certain women which we don't cultivate here especially in white people. It's not our culture, our culture is incredibly xenophobic and American centric and even that only goes as far back as the 70s at best.
It's usually all rewritten nostalgia that paints life as perfect no matter who it leaves out and how inaccurate it is.

 

Preach!

 

But this is not only women, or men for that matter. This is what our society came to. Every (wo)man for himself. And you as a couple had a dating lifestyle???? Women who insist going out every weekend to eat can fund this party lifestyle themself. The same goes for men that wants nothing to eat but steak for dinner.

 

Sounds nice but doesn't translate into real life. Every man here knows you gotta pay to play. A woman who will pay her own without feeling some way about it is rare actually when I think about all the women I've encountered in my life I can only think of 3.
We have an entire culture around courtship that's not going anywhere because it benefits women. No one wants to give up their privileges.
The only way it changes is once you become a family unit. Then all the money comes from the same pot.

 

You agree? Is it all of them?

 

I don't know DK, from my experience is that if a man pays, he actually likes me. If he wants me to pay for my own dinner I am in the "friend category".

 

Bruh, you've dated like 2 or 3 bw in your life.....lol.

Perhaps you just happened to find one thats different. It happens.

 

I can't speak for all men but I know for me a woman who is willing to split the bill without an attitude or presumption of me being cheap is rare.
Here's the thing we can all acknowledge life is hard and it doesn't get easier so the last thing anyone wants is a person who sets out to be dependent on you with complete indifference to how it effects you. It's the staunch entitlement that's really a turnoff. So I advise a lot of women keep that in mind. I know for me one the reasons I don't bounce after major arguments anymore is because I have a supportive person who takes the time to be aware.

 

Lol I can't even be mad at you because that's a fair point. I also got friends but I only hear about shot from their end and most women have trouble telling the truth when they're messing up

 

I can see that, and I think every woman who has has been lied to and led on because the man only wanted sex and got her time wasted, would write the exact same sentence. Anyway, when I plan a first date, I alternate between inviting them home to the best butterchicken they will ever taste or taking them out bowling.

 

Some of the realest shit I seen was when I lived in Atlanta where its easy to find a hot bw to take care of you. Tables flip as soon as you see them in corporate America. There they are your worst enemies, and the best friends of gay black men. Classic racist whiteman shit.

No thanks.