White Women who aren't into black men.... at first

I think this is the difference between being under 30 and over 50.

Part of those qualities that women are listing is that a man who possesses those qualities is not into the play - they are past it and don't really come into those qualities until they mature. Believe it or not, there really are those out there who are real and have done it, seen it, had it, and chose a different direction. Of course there are many who don't too. It's kindof like your conversation about how people of your generation are with SM and all. Even though it seems like it's everyone (and clearly it is much more so with youngers) it isn't everyone. It's kindof like when someone says something about how everyone drinks too much but their reference point is socializing in bars and alcohol centered events.

I think there's a misunderstanding of what I'm saying. If you think the men who really are all those things are the playmates you are way off. There's a huge difference. Thankfully, there are men (even on this forum TDK, Beasty, NY, etc) who value other qualities over looks and the fake shit. I actually think you do as well when you are being very honest about things.

 

What a woman brings to the table, as well as her attitude and the way she carries herself goes a long way. It is these things that allow longevity in the relationship. However, you still have to be attracted to the woman. No one is overly interested in a complete ug face regardless of gender. Most of us can't be sexually compatible with someone who is physically unattractractive. But, I see the point that you and northside are trying to make.

 

Of course it does. It says a lot about her character and what she values in life. If you care about a fake ass and tits chances are that we aren't aligned intellectually or spiritually

 

Could you define your version of "fake"?

 

Fake hair fake nails fake body parts

 

I see. Fake hair and nails is just gross to me. The same goes for fake lips and so on. Reminds me of that Kanye West line on the song "In the mood". I'm not overly bothered by fake breasts if they are done well. The fake booty movement is not to my liking. Women too lazy to hit the gym and build some sort of body aren't my type.

Breasts are the only area were I might be ok with it so long as they are in proportion and done well. It's not like you can build larger breasts in the gym or anything. But, that's just me.

It's like that meme where they say, "You wonder why men don't like women with wigs, but you'd lose your mind if a man wore a muscle suit and hung ot up every night." Or something like that.

I'd also like to add, that if a woman or anyone, regardless of gender, is comfortable with their body no matter how it looks, that's great. You may not be attractive to some, but will be to others. My "Lazy" comment was in reference to those who would rather spend $250,000 getting work done on their bodies, then spending 10 hours or so a week working on their bodies in a gym.

 

Show me where I continue to post how important looks are to men, I'll wait.

I've already pointed out how TDK agreed with me so I'll lay it out again. You don't think men want to end up with "fake" women looks wise, TDK said looks don't really matter to him. If looks don't matter to him then he sure as hell ain't going out his way to avoid ending up with a fake woman because he's looking beyond her appearance.

Maybe my last quote was confusing and i should of worded it as "as long as a man finds a woman attractive, all the fake shit don't matter to him"

 

It's fantasy because of limitations preventing it into reality. I personally lust after acr Dodge viper but according to you that's probably not what I really want, I guess I rather be stuck driving old ass 2002 deawoos for the rest of my life lol

 

Possibly but I doubt it. Men you described have they shit order and know it. They don't have to play games to get what they want and most certainly don't have to settle for less either.

The former poster Chesbay comes to mind. Shes 40 to 50 years old and dated men in her age range. She sure loved her some men who were exactly how you described (strong character, stable/established, caring, funny) but she also complained on here how men didn't take her serious relationship wise every so often.

 

I never said looks don't matter at all. They matter but like I said people who pay to get work done are a different breed from me

 

Now y'all got me really thinking

The former poster AmazonK rocked heavy make up and openly spoke of her breast implants and not a single dude on this website acted if they were turned off. Chick had a legit fan club. Chick has been married for 5 or so years now with a baby.

 

Had no clue
Guess I'm not as thorough as you lol

 

Them hoes are a dime a dozen. If you were actually male and looked through Thirstagram you'd see how many young WW have embraced THOT culture including thug boyfriends

 

I don't know, sir. Gotta disagree there. I imagine the fake stuff works for some men, but it's never been my thing. I've always felt that women should do what makes them feel good, but my opinion is that they steer clear of the fake stuff and work with their natural assets.

 

Ok I think I get what you are saying now.

I agree there has to be attraction there. What's attractive to one is not to another and so on.

 

No that would not be according to me. Take TDK wanting the Tesla. He REALLY REALLY wants it and has for some time. He may even go buy it. He may even really love it for a bit. But in the long run it may not be at all what he wanted. He may find the price tag isn't worth it, etc. He posed the question to some of us who have seen the other side and I responded. I know men who have owned all sorts of cars they just had to have. Some still own them, others not. But for most it was a short lived thrill that didn't bring everything they had hoped. Maybe they found out that the flashy car that cost alot to keep maintained wasn't worth it and chose to go with something that was more dependable. Often, they had buyers remorse when they went with the flash and ended up deciding it was better to go a different route. It depends on the person and what they really want in the long run.

 

If I remember right, AK was also very nice and sweet and had more going for her than a bunch of makeup and fake tits.

 

Well you actually agreed with what I said. Men who have their shit together know it and don't have to play games to get what they want. The point is that they typically want more than what you are talking about. When they are looking for a woman for the long term, they want someone of substance. Of course they need to be attracted to her...but it's not all about all the surface shit.

In regards to Ches....I remember her doing just as you described. However, I think she contributed to her issues. It wasn't a matter of that those men aren't out there.

It's interesting to see how different people's experiences are. There are plenty of men out there who are serious about wanting a relationship who posses the qualities that women usually describe. However, they often sabotage themselves or when reality comes out they are turning down those with the qualities they say/think they want and opting for those who are not any of those things.

 

My own 2 cents, may sound selfish, but I would never want to be with a man who feels he is "settling" with me, if he is not into me in any way, spiritually, emotionally, or physically/sexually, than I don't want to him to settle on me. I would not want someone who is always looking over their shoulder wishing they were with a celebrity like Kim K or someone, or wishing I looked like them, with the fence looking greener on the other side. I would want them to find me as attractive as them, if they liked them too. I want someone who is all into me, not just to get something, feeling like they have to close their eyes or grit their teeth or maybe want a paper bag to put over our heads to be with me.

I understand attraction is important, and if someone is not into me like that, so be it, I would just go my own way, even if it means I am alone all my life, it would be a waste of both our times, and a disservice to life happiness for both of us.

It might be my ego talking, but it would be a big blow to my esteem to know a guy is just settling on me, I could never let go and enjoy myself with someone knowing I am not really their ideal or type. If that is the case, I would want him to go and be with someone who is.

hope this makes sense.

 

That's not selfish, that's normal. No one wants to be 2nd choice.

Of course attraction is important. There are all sorts of different things that make someone attracted to another person. People also change over time.

I have to ask you this. Has your ideal or type always been the same? Have you ever been attracted to someone and then not down the road? Or not been initially attracted and then found you were later on?