Being a black man's/white woman's first romantic partner?

Being a black man's/white woman's first romantic partner

How does that make you feel? Does being the first hold any special meaning to you?

Do you find a difference in dating a first timer than a hardened veteran?

Do some of you secretly hope to be someone's first or even seek them out?

 

Been on both sides. The only advantage to being with someone seasoned is there isn't any shot with their family other than that no real difference all women give you a headache lol

 

You talking about first ir experience or just in general? I'm assuming ir so I'll answer based off of that.

I've been the first black guy before, I guess it feels exactly how Obama felt when he got in office. Gotta make a good impression for any future brothas lol.

But I prefer dating women who have dated ir before. That way they don't act all weird because we have different cultural tastes or different views on certain subjects.

 

Being someone's first doesn't mean they weren't ever attracted to someone like you before.

It just means it's their first time dating someone who didn't look like them.

I've never had a non-Black female say to me she never found Black men attractive, but it was 'different' with me.lol

So even before someone dates IR for the first time, they've already contemplated the possibility before.

 

Interesting topic, with every woman I ever dated including my wife, I was their first time dating IR. Because I lived in overwhelmingly white neighborhoods/schools, ect. growing up, I just did not meet many women of color.

 

I have been a couple of times. I think I was a little surprised that they were older and it was the first time dating IR. One was just way too excited about it all. Another was very nervous and was concerned about anyone even glancing our way.

I think it really depends on the person and how grounded/confident they are.

No I don't secretly hope to be someone's first or seek them out. At my point in life, I am apt to be a bit more cautious if it's something new for them.

 

One benefit of dating IR has given me is the ability to not give a fuck about what people think about life choices. I learned very early on I am going to be happy no matter what other thinks. Their thoughts are none of my business.

 

Having my family has done that for me much more so. I don't even realize it. We have been traveling a bit lately and friends have pointed out some things that I stopped noticing or having any concern about (for the most part) lonnnng ago.

 

Life is too short and what will be will be

 

I don't like being their first. There's a lot more drama that comes with it imo.

I still notice it most of the time. I don't give two f*cks about their opinions and 99% of the time it's when my fiancee and I are out alone (not too many stares when we're out with the kids). Honestly I think when we're all out together we're viewed more as just a family but maybe when it's just he and I, people start to assume the negative stereotypes? Idk but I swear we get more stares than I've ever experienced before. It's annoying af but my guy will just stare back and smile or start a conversation with them lol. He's big on trying to break down the stereotypes...he likes to show that we're truly no different than any other couple. He's pretty dang special :heart:

 

I only dated one white woman where I was her first. She said she liked a black guy in highschool but it didn't go anywhere mainly because her father looked down on dating black guys. He passed away but a lot of the black guys who hit on her she found "trashy and ghetto" so she didn't date any till she met me. It doesn't mean anything to me or make me feel special in any way tho.


I do find a difference in dating a first timer (or women who only been around the block a couple of times) mainly when it comes to race issues and politics. They are often ignorant and insensitive to minority problems. In their bubble of a world they think all people have a equal footing in life and black people's problems are solely their fault.


I don't seek or hope to be a white woman's first but prefer to date white who only been around the block a couple of times vs living in the hood.

 

On dating profiles and blog posts, I see a lot of black women who date out complaining of being treated like a science experiment, do you white women ever feel the same way with black men who are dating white women for the first time?

What kind of drama were you experiencing Raider with a first timer?

 

I can see where that could be an issue with a first timer. I haven't experienced much. I started consistent IR dating late in life which I imagine factors in to me not getting too much drama. I've been ready for it from some of my people, but it's yet to surface (at least it hasn't to my face).

 

I really prefer they have been down the road before. For me it's more because I have kids and I don't really want to be dealing with extra drama. But remember, my family makeup is different than most (even many experienced IR couples/families) Yes there are those who it's like a science experiment....soooo amazed by everything and things are just a bigger deal.

I get what Raider was saying about if they are out with the kids. I'm sure that would be more the situation with me too....it's just I haven't been in a LTR for a number of years now and I haven't gone out many times with my kids and someone I was dating. If I am out somewhere and there happens to be a black man around people will usually assume we are together (based on my kids). I've had some funny situations with that.

 

The drama with one guy in particular was really his friends. The crazy part is that the guy I was dating HAD dated (married and had kids) with a Hispanic woman but he'd never (and his friends had never) dated a white woman. They had constant jokes and questions surrounding the typical sexual stereotypes between bm and ww. A joke or comment here or there is one thing, but these guys wouldn't let up (keep in mind we were all early 30s so there's no excuse imo). Anyways it was clear that the guy I was dating wasnt ready for what bm/ww are so accustomed to. I ended up getting really annoyed that he couldn't just ignore what was being said. Maybe I'm just too impatient for a first timer. The looks, stares, comments come with the territory and I think someone who's been through it before knows to expect it, how to deal with it and how to move on without stressing over other people's opinions.

 

Yep...I'm not up to someone wanting to make a big deal over every time someone looks our way.