When should you introduce the kids to your new bf/gf?

www.familyeducation.com/life/dating...cing-your-new-significant-other-your-children



So you met this new person and now you need to decide when to introduce that person to the kid(s).

When do you do it?

Should you let the other parent know what you are about to do?


dadsdivorce.com/articles/when-should-divorced-dads-introduce-the-new-girlfriend/

 

Don't have kids, but a big pet peeve of mine is when someone outright lies about not having kids until they can't hide it anymore.

I have less issue with the kids and more with the baby daddies. I have a few bad experiences with a chick's baby daddy trying to check me cause I was messing with his ex. Some dudes think just cause they put a baby in somebody that's his pussy for life.

 

That's real greasy for a person to try to hide their kids.

Also, dealing with the other parent can be crazy. You really need to be sure the two adults are getting along.

My ex and I are cool like the other side of the pillow but I told her there have to be ground rules when it comes to dating and our daughter.

 

What are your ground rules?

 

I was wondering the same thing...and if they applied to him as well.

 

When the situation calls for it.

My sons have met a few different women, I want them to see its nothing wrong having many women and don't chase those Mickey Mouse you are the only one for me fairy tales.

 

I don't have a set time. I think it's best to go about things in a natural, casual way though. More just introducing them to a friend and not making a huge deal out of it all.

I'm very cautious about who comes around my children, but I can't imagine doing the whole thing where people get into a deep relationship with someone and don't introduce the kids until it's very serious. How can you even know you would want to get serious with someone who hasn't been around your kids? That also seems like a lot of pressure.

I've always been up front about my children.

Now on the other hand, I have had 3 men bring their kids on first dates (without telling me ahead of time). I would NEVER do that, and as much as I love kids, I don't think they should be doing that either.

 

We don't bring anyone around unless you are serious about them. We (the people we are dating) don't argue in front them. If a dude put his hands on her (the mother or my daughter)she better have him jail before I get there.

The bf/gf don't discipline her only us.

 

Huh what?

 

Yep - bizarre for sure.

 

That is way off and or dumb as all get out

 

Ok I'm gonna bite, what was their reasoning for bringing the kid?

 

I never got a straight answer, not that it would have mattered. They all had full custody, but I've dated other men with full custody and they never brought their kids. These guys didn't tell me they were bringing their kids either.

The first one, we were supposed to be going for lunch. He promised his son we were going bowling but I guess he had no idea how much it was going to cost (maybe he thought I would offer to pay for it) and the kid threw a major fit when it didn't happen.

The second one had two boys with him, we were going for pizza.

The third brought his son. We were going to their favorite Chinese food and I guess he had promised the kid that we were all going back to their place and the kid was going to pick the movie for us all to watch.

In all three situations I had little boys looking up at me with big eyes. The one with the 2 even contacted me several years later talking about how his boys still remembered me.

I have had others who said they would need to do something together with their kids and I have declined the invitation. I love kids, but I want to get to know the dad some first.

 

Sounds more like they were all looking for a new mommy figure for their sons rather than someone that they themselves would be interested in for a possible relationship.

 

Right. I think they were sortof like some women who don't separate the two and want someone who's just going to fit into their existing life.

I've met some men who have talked about women bringing their kids on first dates too. Some of them do it because they feel like the kids are better at sizing up the date than they are.

 

I try to avoid meeting kids and if I do meet them I stay distant as possible. The kid I was around the most in the pass was jealous, and I only risked being around him because he did have his father in his life. He acted like he didn't want me around, yet he still resented me for breaking up with his mother. Go figure. After I left, his dad even acted like he wanted me to marry the kids mother. "Wait don't you guys hate me??" lol

I think you should start building a relationship with the kids only if you are serious about making things work for the long run.

When I was growing up a cousin of mine became somewhat attached to his mother's boyfriend and was disappointed when she dumped him. I remember the day she dropped him off. Sad day. Dude was fun to be around and it sucked to see my cousin depressed over his absence.

 

Yeah it's not good for kids when there's a revolving door.

 

That would be the first and last date. I think the kids are better sizing up people in a lot of cases but that doesn't say much for the adult. A lot of people have lost touch with their natural senses. I don't see the point in getting to know them, unless you only want small talk and sex. You can meet someone who doesn't bring their kids into it in that case.

 

Yeah...a person really need to be honest with themselves about what type of relationship they want

 

There are a lot of people out there who are trying to jump the steps. They are trying to do the instant thing. To me, all that does is create problems though. It's not fair to kids to be bringing in people like that.