Why is it so hard for you women to simply say i'm not attracted to you and...

Bro, you know you can't even "suggest" that you're trying to take the cheap way out on a first date. Maybe if you sell it as a "casual date" and go there after a late movie.

There are lots of 2 for one or lunch specials that would make it easier on the payer's pocket (TGIF, Applebees, Dave & Busters, etc)...but if you let it be know that's what you're up to - you mind as well call it quits before you start (at least in an upscale city) because it will reflect on your report card :smt018

BTW, I've never taken a woman on a date to McDonald's - hahaha. Now, after some time is put in. If it's good enough for her and her friends to eat at...then it's good enough for us to drop by and grab a bite. 90% of my visits to MickeyDs are for fries or pies.

 

That's what I'm saying, times have changed. I accept/embrace that change. I think of a relationship like a team effort and, perhaps, that's wrong of me? I believe in splitting things accordingly when it comes to the household. I also believe that if a partner is going through hardship that they should be carried until they are pulling their weight again. However, I've never missed a birthday or anniversary...or not been there when needed even if it meant overextending or messing myself over. However...

...Having laid myself on the line, a time or three too many, I'm toast with the idea of the standard LTR or marriage. It seems that it's mostly been "give and get screwed or be honest and get lied to" This transition into the next phase of my life has been...difficult...and lonely. I don't want to go backwards to casual relationships or forward to overly committed relationships. I just want "to date" one woman (who wants to date one man) from this point on. I don't want to leave the dating phase and move into the building phase. Just date...not build...just date - that's it :smt042

 

Times have definItely changed and chivalry is as dead lol.
Relationships and marriage is overrated.
People change and the sex becomes boring
Suddenly your partner is ok with laying next to you snoring
Fuck it all.
I raise a toast to
Gooood old whoring.

 

Chivalry isn't dead - It just has to be dealt out with good judgement.

Selfishness has killed committed relationships. It's ok in open relationships.

Sex was meant to go away eventually leaving only love. Tolerating the snoring and other shortcomings...that's love.

Drinking and Whoring are both a young persons game. Once looks are gone and the body succumbs to the abuse, it's a lonely finish.

:smt073

 

I didn't actually mean a word I just said.

Chivalry definItely isn't dead. It exists. I've experienced it over there but never here.

Sadly people change and while you once would never have seen the warning signs of selfishness they creep up during the years and definately change how you once felt.

I don't quite understand the whole open relationship thing. Seems absolutely pointless.

You need sex to feel intimate and in love. I think you're not in love if you're not having sex. Once that ends its clear indication the marriage relationship is gone.

Agreed.

 

I don't know. I've seen those couples who've been married 50-65+ years. The old grandma and grandpa holding hands. I know for certain there was a time that they were sexually active...that there was possibly some manipulation, lying, cheating and violence. Somehow the other, they made it to that plateau. It's obviously love without sex.

That being said, we are obviously able to do it. We just lack the fortitude to do it.

I say if you're younger than 40 - go for it. If you're older than 50 - why and how will it benefit you? I guess I have a dark way of looking at what benefits a man will reap if married vs if he were to just continue on single? Loneliness vs 15 years of cruising to retirement in a semi sexless relationship? I would seriously opt for a sugar baby and keeping my 401k:smt042 over curtain #2 (a selfish senior) or, worse yet, curtain #3 (divorce and loss of retirement nest)... IJS...

 

So you're a romantic....sortof.

I have news for you....many of those old folks are still having sex. And some of those cute old couples are rather newly together.

I'm sure I have posted somewhere on here that there actually are benefits for marriage at older ages. There are also benefits to staying single. Both from a strictly business perspective too. A great deal depends on the specifics of the individuals. In many states whatever retirement and/or property, etc you have prior to marriage you would retain in the event of divorce. So, you very well may be concerned about things that you need not be worrying about.

 

Never assume that just because you're old you're not breaking that bed. I sure as shit will be swinging from the ceiling as a grandma. Because I plan to stay tip top my entire stay on earth (provided I don't get stung with some dreaded illness) so keeping in shape will benefit my sex life tremendously (in theory). But I get your point. Gosh that's a harsh reality check the thought of being sexually incapable!!! I need eternal youth.

Yeah you could be right not sure about the violence part though. You'd have rocks in your head to stay married to a physical abuser. Sadly..yes.. Some people do and can see past this issue.

How does it benefit you at all being in an open relationship? I don't see the point in being in a relationship if you feel obliged to mess around with someone else. That's not satisfaction. Just stay single and screw around.

It doesn't have to be semi sexless. Just go for a younger woman. Marry a younger woman. Just be careful of the gold diggers.

 

So why are you with me then? :razz:

 

If you are with a woman for some time and you say let's go to the movies and on the way we are going to McDonalds.....that's a date. Lol

 

Yes, like pretty much everyone else...I believed in the dream. It's pretty much sold to all of us from the time we can walk. If our parents aren't projecting it onto us then we watch tv shows that portray perfect family life (I personally don't know WTF kinda programming they have on tv now though, but I'm sure that the human race will continue on that red sled to hell).

I think life beats up most of us. However, some people handle it better than others. I definitely believe that woman recoup better and faster than men. Men who know they're dirtballs at an early age might just chalk it up to bad karma, straighten their lives up and move forward too....but when you think that you're a good person (man or woman) and things don't go right I think there's a lot of evaluation that goes into it. Weighing the bad against the good, many just say they've had enough. They'll continue life on their own, either solo or as a couple, but to put all their eggs in one basket again?...never gonna happen.

 

I hear you guys talking about forging on at your sexcapades, way into your 70s, but best believe...very few of you will be putting work in - haha. We all know that the human body breaks down. Sure, we got pills and lube, but without that...our sex drives would naturally taper. Women have menopause and hot flashes. Men just can't get it up. BUUUUT, even with those man made items, we won't be breaking headboards :smt042

I'm not sure how old age affects a woman's orgasms? If 1 in 3 have trouble reaching orgasm in their prime...how motivated could she actually be when her natural hormones deplete? Most go through menopause in their mid 40/50s. No/low estrogen means natural lube goes away, stretchability of vagina goes away....pain during sex shows up. If she wants to continue on than there is usually lube, but that doesn't help w/flexibility or pain, and meds/estrogen therapy. Too much estrogen and there's a possibility of heart disease or cancer.

Dudes will have to decide whether it's more important to have a hardon or heart attack. Cartilage, flexibility of joints in both sexes are at an all time low...muscle mass has faded. I suspect that at 70 or 80, sex 2-3 a month will be more than sufficient. I'm sure the preferred way of saying, "I love you" will officially be conversation over a beverage, walking hand in hand or showing up on time/always being there. It will no longer be expressed through physical sex (How good you look?; How much freaky shit are you willing to do for me?; How many times can I make her cum?) or how much we are willing to do financially.

Yes, I'm honest, a pessimist....a realist. I've seen the decline in my own sexual nature. Even comparing 1990 to 2010, my abilities have dropped +/-70%. I can safely assume that 20 years from now that they will continue to decline. Mind you, taking genetics into account, I take pretty good care of myself. No meds, limited sodium diet, never smoked, limited boozin'...still running 15-25 mi/week, biking 20-40 mi/week and working out with 225 on the bench. 5-8, 170lbs...probably +/-12% body fat. If I'm questioning my future abilities, where does that put dudes who haven't worked out since they were 30, are 40-70lbs overweight and are already on meds? Honestly? I have buds that aren't overweight, but can't touch their toes (have lost all flexibility).

I see changes in senior sex a lot different than (sex at) 50 and under. I'm sure there's more cuddling, foreplay, toy play than actual penetration.


It's also different dating some "everyday" kinda woman vs a "go getter"....it might even be different dating a white woman vs an "other" vs a black woman.

I guess that's my way of saying, "a woman who is not used to money." If I date a black woman from the hood or a white woman from a trailer park/out in the sticks, she's not wanting to hit Ruth Chris' and she thinks Olive Garden or Red Lobster is a 5 star, 2-3 times a year thing. When you date a woman who's money/power driven and accustomed to money/power driven men...the guy is gonna come out of pocket. She's not only expecting Sushi...it's Sushi at the hottest place...I mention Red Lobster or Fridays to her and it will probably be the last time I speak to her. She needs to eat out a minimum of 3 times a week (some of them eat out 10 times/week), at the newest spots.

...Those are the same women who won't date you if you have a roommate. They want you to have your own place or you have to take them to a hotel. Mind you, they are insulted if you try to take them to a Best Western or Holiday Inn. It's the Marriott or higher.

I mentioned "races" because there really seems to be a difference that I stumbled on as I've gotten older. Black women don't necessarily have to be go getters to think they deserve to eat at the best spots or get the best treatment (the only ones who've ever asked for hair or nail money). I've dated Filipinas and Latinas who seemed to be "down to earth," but the race issue seems to be a stumbling block. They always seem to expect the guy to assimilate into their culture. White women are a coin toss - lol. Some mind as well be black because you have to deal with the same attitude and mindset...only the skin color is different. Some are down to earth and then there are those who come from money and expect 5 star treatment.

Overall, not all women from, or who have, money are high maintenance. If she's smart, down to earth, well rounded (5 star or roughin' it) and unselfish...she's the proverbial needle in a haystack.

 

Actually my comment about you being a romantic was more in the couple of comments you made that were buried in the long winded pessimistic rant.

I basically meant....with all your going on...you really aren't fooling anyone, at least me. Obviously you are a romantic at heart, which is not something derived from society and a fairytale that was sold you you, but rather you come by naturally.

 

Hmm interesting that you (DW) seem to know so much about elderly and sex.

You may be surprised to know that one of the biggest issues in retirement centers, assisted living, and even skilled nursing facilities is elderly getting caught having sex.

I'm not going to get all into the specific details about it, I figure things change as we age. Just as I'm not into things a 19 year old would be doing, the elders may not care to be trying to do the things 40-50 year olds are doing. It very well may be that different things turn them on. That doesn't mean it's not any good for them. Nor does it mean they are reduced to a couple of times a month.

At one point someone on here posted a thread about younger people and how many of them actually prefer sex much less often than what we may think. I found that rather surprising.

I know you have stated things before about women not being into sex as we age and I know I have address that previously. Again, it depends on who you are dealing with. Many of us are hitting our peaks (and staying there) well into our 60's. Who knows how much longer because many are just hitting those ages now. It's a different time. Men are complaining more and more about not being able to keep up with the women and women "only wanting sex". Notice many women playing with younger men too.

 

I see. I think the part that grabbed me was the use of "go-getter" meaning high maintenance. I don't think the two are synonymous. Nor do I think coming from money (or having it) is synonymous with high maintenance.

I'm hoping that men would look to find out about that particular woman and what she is motivated by, rather than to group them into whatever categories based on assumptions from where they live, their background, or their skin color.

 

LOL about the younger women.

Many of the men can't keep up with the women their own age.

 

Lol. I wasn't meaning 'I' want to stay single and screw around. Diseases scare me too much.