Ladies I have a question . could you be the .........

yep!

Unfortunately, while both are equally responsible, that doesn't always mean that both will take on that responsibility equally.

 

Ok I get all that.

I guess the part I'm not clear about is....are you saying that the Black community is a Matriarchal culture, or not?

 

Interesting thread and posts.

 

Again I'm not shitting on TDK. He had a view and I differed but when he saw the definition and saw what LBJ did then he was like OK. Not saying he changed his position but he no longer came with dumb shit.

I never said it wasn't. Ive been asking "who is at fault for it not being a patriarchal society?"

They couldn't answer that.

Their whole point has been or trying to do was blame all the ills of the BC on bw cause its a matriarchal society.

Who is to blame? How are they the blame.

I've always said both have to be the blame and I will say why but I'm not going to. Until we deal with the basics.

You see this dudes don't want to shoulder responsibility.

A true alpha male will also point a finger at himself first before he points it at others when things go wrong. That's cause he's a leader.

Remember the topic we discussed about the woman spanking. I said "people love saying these kids today are ______________(fill in the blank. Such as bad or spoiled) . I would respond they are a reflection of those that raised them."
Patriarchs look at themselves first then go from there

 

One more thing, look at the name if the threads. Why are they always dragging matriarch/patriarch topics in a thread about something that has nothing remotely to do with it like overweight women and bm. Really?

If they want to talk about then we can do it now. Hell I made another thread about submissiveness and they didn't say shit. So did they really want to discuss it or just bs-ing

 

Yeah. You can't be a patriarch automatically just cause you have a penis. Its an act

 

The black american family isn't a matriarchy. People only say that because of the high percentage of fatherless households. But fathers aren't the only male members of a family. usually when a father isn't around the Grandad or another male member of the family will fill his role or at least do a close enough job.

And even if a male member isn't a round to fill his shoes. Do you really think BW have control in our communities comparable to a true matriarchy? If that were true BW would be able to pick and choose how things work within our community. But evidently that doesn't happen because I'm 100% sure BW aren't ok with the current state of affairs plaguing the black community.

 

Again I'm not "arguing" with you. We are discussing. You never said really dumb, and hateful shit. I may disagree with you but you never say that kind of thing.

 

Good point. I need to think on that further if I was to disagree

 

Thank you!

This is exactly why I don't get the argument.

I understand how some feel like women may be feeding into the issues if they are purposely having children and pushing the men out, choosing men who are not capable of leading, going against the men, not building them up, etc. But that doesn't mean they have created a Matriarch. I think that's more of adapting to the way things have become. Not that it's the best way to go, but when people are in survival mode they often don't make the best choices. People have turned against each other rather than fighting against the systematic destruction which continues to feed into it all and cause more and more destruction.

 

GL - I don't really care if you were to be shitting on TDK. That wasn't my concern at all (nothing against him) It's just difficult to follow you at times. Whether you think so or not, you have continued to bring up these topics in many different threads (just as you accuse others of doing and they may indeed be guilty of doing). I get that they are major issues that need to be discussed. I just don't think grabbing onto a couple of statements and dropping them over and over again on all sorts of threads is productive. Maybe it would be a good idea to start a thread to discuss those specific issues since they keep coming up in other threads?

I think it first comes down to if it really is a Matriarch or not. As M&C stated, it's not. I agree with this. One can not answer who's responsible for it being a Matriarch if it's not.

Again, I think there are more things you all are in agreement with than you disagree with. And again, I will ask (for the however many times) what do you suggest to solve the issues? Because that's what really matters, isn't it? How are we going to make things better?

The truth is every single one of us - ALL of us have contributed to the way things are in one way or another. EVERY ONE....myself included. No matter how much we may have done, the truth is there are all sorts of things that are completely unacceptable going on and that is everyone's responsibility.

Infighting and saying this or that person just can't understand because they aren't the right color or hue, or were raised in a different way, or don't have it as bad, or have it too bad, or whatever else does NOT fix anything. It just further promotes more of the same and gives the powers that be exactly what they want. Instead we need to harness all that pain and anger together and focus it in a way that will make a difference and benefit the community rather than to continue to destroy it.

NO ONE should be afraid to walk down the street. NO ONE should be afraid of a police officer. NO parent should have to bury their children because of any type of violence. There should NOT be any war zones in the US.

As a country we throw all sorts of money around at all sorts of things, we make all sorts of crazy things priorities. Yet we won't focus on the real things that are happening that we could actually solve which would ultimately make a difference for everyone.

I've just never been one who's been ok with saying - yah well that's just the way it is...suck it up and deal with it. The amount of apathy that exists is disturbing. I understand feeling so beat down and helpless and being in such a state of survival that it's really not possible to do anything. But again, that feeds into it all more. Every single person can make a difference and it takes that to make the changes that need to be made.

 

Again as I stated before you haven't been here to get the whole thing. If you was really here for a long time you will get it. Heck just look at the Jesse Williams thread and you will get it. But I digress. Let's get to this matriarchy / patriarchy topic.

I have started a few threads that allowed them to discuss matriarch or patriarch like this one.

They have the opportunity.

How did this matriarchy (as they statedt). Lindon b Johnson through his war on poverty. The policy allowed some say forced men out the home. Then you had feminism that was going on and lastly divorce court. it really destroyed the kids but here's my take:

1. The war on poverty issue is a cop out. Just because the govt wants the man out the house doesn't mean he should be out the kids lives.

2. Feminism- sure equal rights in the workplace. At home different story. The "I don't need a man to raise the kids" is bs. Women specifically bw grabbed onto that and lost and hurt the kids. Feminism to me at times wasn't for bw. Now be and every woman is looking at feminism side eye.

3. Divorce- all race of women have alienated the father's from their kids at one time or another. Specifcally talk bw they have done at some time. This doesn't help the kids. I have started threads discussing that and how to get around it. You think any one contributed to it. Not really. We have guys here that could have contributed to the discussion on how to be able to see your child but they would not share it. To me that is unfortunate But then again I can have with understand because they can probably get in trouble for giving out some advice.

I have started threads that would have catered to the matriarchy discussion.
We have too many whining ass negroes and no answer seeking dudes.

I'm with mc to a point in the statement part in regards to the community. I agree with him on that

In regards to the family its the single mother issue men dropped the ball in allowing women to not allow men in the kids lives.

If me and really took the time out and really got together and how to be business to the courts. Then a lot of this stuff will be going down like it is. Look at how these kids are acting right now from Buckwild because they don't have a real father in the home or in and around their lives. You have a lot of men in jail it was just a lien dated that's the problem the jail situation is primarily due to the War on Drugs which is racially motivated so that's another problem. So that's one reason why you have women head of the household. And I'm talking about the War on Drugs

 

In relationship to MC point on the black community I kinda agree with him in that instead of calling it The matriarchy system because guys will come in and say ABC and D I want to call it the week negro syndrome. Here's what I mean when it comes to dealing with the kids out in public or social issues but not the men have dropped the ball to an extent. Yes there are a lot of black men in the civil rights movement of today. Just as much as you have women in the movement today but what really bothers me is the black lives movement that was started by three black women protecting black men and not just black men with black women to put it in shot down like dogs too but to me that should have been started by black men. If your patriarch that you should be doing the protecting you men I mean. But that's just my opinion

 

LOL if I was here for a long time? I've been here since 2007. I've taken breaks, but come on - I've been involved in most of the conversations you are talking about.

Just to clarify, it didn't really start with LBJ. There were welfare programs from the beginning of our country and where the major shifts first occurred were under FDR long before LBJ. LBJ then expanded programs and added new ones.

"Under President Franklin D. Roosevelt, the Social Security Act was enacted in 1935. The act, which was amended in 1939, established a number of programs designed to provide aid to various segments of the population. Unemployment compensation and AFDC (originally Aid to Dependent Children) are two of the programs that still exist today.

A number of government agencies were created to oversee the welfare programs. Some of the agencies that deal with welfare in the United States are the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD), the Department of Labor, the Department of Agriculture, and the Department of Education."

The Social Security Act is credited as the program with the most successful impact on poverty.

I would absolutely agree that while many of the arguments are valid, they can also be seen as a cop out. We all have choices as to whether or not we want to succumb to the system. But it's a tough thing though when you are at a level of survival and deeply entangled in that system and do not know any other options and lack a support system.

I noticed Med's conversation in another thread today about values and I think there is much to be said about that. Core values are what makes the difference in everything. That's not something that can be taken away from people and it's something that comes from the family and within. I think so many issues is the deficiency of core values which comes from the breakdown of family.

 

Ok look - it doesn't fucking matter who starts it or the gender or skin tone of who's speaking up or acting upon things. What matters is it happens. Of course men need to step up. Guess what, I know MANY Black men who's lives are dedicated to fixing issues, who are not just talking about it, but truly are doing it, investing their time, money, and resources. Of course there needs to be more, more across the board....men, women, and of whatever skin color.

It does no good to call men out because women started BLM. That again just furthers the issues of infighting and turning the upsets towards one another rather than turning that to focus on correcting the issues.

 

The way to motivate people is not to pick at them and tear them down, it's to support them and build them up. Offer the tools and the options. Stop all the berating. How can one gather strength and grow when everyone around is attacking from all directions in every way possible?

I'm not talking about some surface shit or blowing smoke up someone's ass. I'm talking about really bringing our strengths and offering to stand beside them as they build themselves and the others around them up.

Instead of tearing at every thread possible, what if we focus on the positives out there and help to expand those positives?

I don't think it's rocket science. I think a lot of it breaks down to some very basic concepts. We know overall that positive reinforcements work much better than negative.

 

Lol
I hate to sound mean but that statement that you just May says it all in that you really haven't been watching the threads that I've been putting up
I've got more thread on here to help progress on this site example I I forgot the name of it but It was about divorce and how men to combat being alienated from the kids. I've talked about that before several times. Not one not one person contributed to that conversation.

That kind of conversation would have been one of the ways to mitigate the matriarchy they complain about. When you have guys complaining about matriarchy and how the black community is going down but your ass is sitting down not and doing a damn thing.... that is weak.truth

 

It is fair or good. if the bm here are constantly vilifying bw and blaming the ills of the black community on bw then they should be the one starting the blm.

I don't have a problem with bw ... They do. It'd great they started it. We (bm and bw) needed them. The point is dont villify bw but want the benefits of blm when bw started and have been part if the civil rights movement. That bs.

 

http://atlantablackstar.com/2014/12/24/ways-war-poverty-destroyed-black-fatherhood/


http://mobile.wnd.com/2014/01/war-on-poverty-splitting-up-black-families/

2 Articles on LBJ and the black community
Excerpt from the first article....

But there’s very little argument that many of the regulations instituted during President Lyndon B. Johnson’s War on Poverty, such as the welfare, food stamp and Medicaid programs, act as disincentives for mothers and fathers to stay together.

________////////_____///

That's niether here or there you and agree its a cop out

 

I think that the men and women could've at least Agreed to play the govt's game but the men could've constant in the child's life.