Ladies I have a question . could you be the .........

I was watching an interview sway was conducting. He was interviewing Claudia Jones , I believe, and she stated "she can't be the alpha in the relationship cause she will lose respect for him. "

Do you want to be the alpha or do you want him to be the alpha and why to either position?

 

Um well....for me to be with a man, I have to admire and respect him. He has to be a strong man who operates at a high level and handles things in life well. This is partly because I do.

I don't do power struggles in relationships. I have no patience for it. I don't have any need to try to compete with a man in the relationship (or anywhere for that matter).

I think that people will have their strengths and weaknesses and hopefully they will compliment each other in a relationship.

My feeling about taking the lead is the same in any realm and that is - either lead, follow, or get the F out of the way. To be a really good leader you also have to know how to follow, support, and empower. I'm very capable of leading. However, naturally, I'm an amazing support person. I don't do well with a man who isn't very strong and owns it.

So I'm not really sure how to answer that question. I've always been with men who operate at a very high level. I don't know that all of them would be considered Alpha in an obvious overt way but they were true alphas.

I've heard her say something like that before and I sortof rolled my eyes. Because, if I remember right...to me it sounded more like she's more one looking for a man to put her in her place. That's different to me.

 

I dont respect someone that wants to be lead all the time. I equally dont respect someone that wants to lead all the time. In a good relationship, for me You know when to lead and when to be lead

I agree with I, i dont do powerstruggles, its immature in my opinion. We all have strengths and weaknesses and We should be aware of them and this when its better You to lead or your partner to lead

 

Yes...I think part of being a true leader is to know the times when it's best to have someone else take the lead.

 

That's just human nature, women worldwide don't want to be with guys who they deem to be below them. The few who prefer "beta" men are usually ball busting femdoms.

 

I dig what you are saying. Its like they don't have their own mind or don't respect your's

 

That's true,but only for women in patriarchal cultures.

 

Uh no you just have to be worthy if that position. In other words you have to show leadership qualities.

Since You are waiting for society/culture to shift then you aren't the man women are looking for from the start.

 

I think it's more than that. I think it's natural instincts....much like animals. While we may be doing everything possible to move away from our natural instincts as a society, they still exist and are stronger for some than for others. I know some who have a very strong pull in this direction yet were not raised in patriarchal cultures....I guess we could talk about cellurlar memory which may invalidate the idea that any newer shifts in cultures (i.e. to matriarchal) carry any weight.

Certainly patriarchal cultures are more aligned with natural instincts.

 

It could be argued that in order to be worthy of that position, or to fit the definition, one would have to have very strong patriarchal instincts....is that only possible if one comes from a patriarchal society?

You all like to argue about whether or not the American Black culture is matriarchal or patriarchal. I know many very strong alpha Black American men.....explain how that is possible based on the premise that American Black culture is matriarchal?

 

I grew up in a single parent home but surrounded by men during the summer....grandfather , and uncle. That little time did me right.

You need to ask them that. I'm not the one whining about it. I grew up knowing that I had to be the leader of the house and the wife was to be the backbone if the family.

The welfare if the family was on the dudes head. Kids aren't fed...they looked at the man.

I've always questioned them on it and they love blaming bw for it being a matriarchal black community. I asked them repeatedly who is at fault. They don't answer. They don't want to answer cause they have to look at themselves. Leaders start with themselves.

Remember these are dudes who stated its 100% the woman's fault for getting pregnant. A patriarch don't roll like that.

So again ask the whiners . to me if they are whining then theyve been made bitches in the relationship

 

I'm really not interested in getting into the ongoing argument with you all. I don't see what they have stated quite the same way you do. Things have been twisted.

I don't remember anyone ever stating that getting pregnant was 100% on the woman. Nor do I recall anyone stating that the shift to women running the household was all because of the women in Black culture. I get you've said they said those things though. Go ahead and post the actual quotes of them saying those things.

I actually see that you all agree more than you don't. Both sides have stated there are issues with men not being in the home and/or not having enough influence in children's lives. Maybe it's more about that you don't agree on how it all happened, the process of it all. I don't think they have blamed Black women, they have said they have responsibility in the ways they have reacted to things and in doing so may have contributed to furthering the issues, just as Black men have responsibility in the matter. You tend to grab onto part of what's stated and not all of it, which can change the meaning of the original messages.

I think there is enough blame to go around to both genders and society as a whole, not just the "black community". I think it's all been in reaction and result of a full out attack on a community.

 

http://www.whitewomenblackmen.com/forum/showpost.php?p=893711&postcount=850

http://www.whitewomenblackmen.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7983&page=86

You can read that.

So when they start that matriarch/patriarch I've always asked when and how. They could not answer. So I showed them.

Hell one if them said patriarch meant that men were in charge but the women and children fend for themselves.

When I showed him the definition he about cried.

I had to tell them the history of it. At least one cause he didn't know. I'm very very sure the other didn't know cause (if I remember) he blamed matriarchy in Africa for slavery. Now that's some dumb shit.

So when they get started, they just need to get shut down cause I know where its going. The others are smarter than that

 

Personally, I like a man who is an alpha, but not an asshole.

 

The first link didn't bring up a post describing what you said on here. I'm thinking that must be the one regarding matriarch/patriarch??

In the 2nd one it's actually Raider who said it :"If women have unprotected sex and end up with an unwanted pregnancy, they are to blame. If they weren't raped, they had a choice...and they chose to take it raw. They're responsible for protecting themselves, after all it's THEIR body that's at stake. It's that simple imo."

and "You can talk about 50/50 responsibility until you're blue in the face but we both know that's not reality often times. Just because it's how it's supposed to be, doesn't make it reality! Ftr, I will raise both my son AND my daughter to protect themselves. I'm not absolving men of their responsibility, but at the end of the day men can walk away. May be cowardly and shitty, but they can. I expect men and women to protect themselves. If a woman gets pregnant after having unprotected sex, does it really matter who's to blame? She's stuck with the consequences, he's not. That's why if she's smart, she'll protect herself. And if she doesn't, it's her own damn fault."

And you've been bringing this up over and over again putting it on TDK. You've actually twisted what she was saying and the meaning of it in any regard.

 

A true alpha is not an asshole. That cocky arrogant bullshit is a manchild trying to be an alpha. An alpha male has nothing to prove...it's his natural state of being.

 

Agree. That is my point.

 

Its not just TDK its others but what you fail to realize is the following:

I could've gone back further....you will surely see what's really up....putting it into context.

I rarely bring up matriarch / patriarch talk.

This convo is about dating and alpha beta issue. Patriarch/matriarch is family.

I didn't twist it cause if you read further you would've saw that he later on stated in so much that child support was bs . read further. Fg went at him about it.

Lastly, when you read the whole thing....think on this. A man who lays with a woman and she becomes pregnant you don't have the option (if you want a patriarch society) "woman you should've worn protection cause its your body ect...." The only thing a dude needs to do is make sure its his. After that Buck up.

Don't think I'm coming at you. Trust me if you been her and really watch the posts then you will be like OK I got it.

Now I told a person the proper definition and he was like OK. Got it. Ivtold the history with LBJ instituting the "war on poverty" and how it separated the family.

Now I said it that convo its both man and woman's responsibility. Right? That goes all the way around. It takes two to tango and a divided house can't stand.

I've often said "women want equal rights until the rent due " meaning a whole lot of things (figurative and literal)

The problem is if you are going to do the matriarch patriarch convo then you need to be accurate and have historical information to go along with it. When you have guys blaming black women for slavery then they need to shut the f****** up.

 

http://www.whitewomenblackmen.com/forum/showpost.php?p=894256&postcount=930

Read this

http://www.whitewomenblackmen.com/forum/showpost.php?p=893604&postcount=839

Better yet just read page 84 , post 839 and what the quote it was refrerring and forward
http://www.whitewomenblackmen.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7983&page=84

Like I stated I know their steez.

I'm not shitting TDK but its the others I look at side eye and have no tolerance for bs and bashing.

 

50% DNA=50 Responsibility