How to date on Great Britain or the UK....

I am here today to find out more about dating in Britain/UK.

I am one of the fortunate few black men, that have originally hailed from Africa (Ghana, West Africa), and traveled to Europe (England specifically). I have an uncle living in Britain that invited me in Great Britain for his wedding. I was there for only one month and I must say I was impressed by the women I saw there. Although I am partial to women of European ancestry, I did notice many women of varying degrees ancestry that were extremely attractive. Be they Black, White, Indian, Pakistani or Mixed ancestry they were all highly attractive, spoke very articulately and showed a high degree of sophistication. Then again I have a bias to the British accent and all things British.

There is an old joke about me from my country, they call me "Mr Smith" because I have a love for women with British accents. I have a fetish for a peculiar British accent though. It's not the cockney accent but like a Middle-Class type accent of a classy woman. Think more like Kate Middleton's accent. I know it's a fetish and I can't help it but I love it.

Anyway when I there I went to many places. I visited Henley-On-Thames during the Rowing Regatta and had a fabulous time. I wasn't even aware of what the Regatta was until I came to Henley. It is a lovely suburb in Oxfordshire and I saw many attractive young ladies around. I was told it was a college town. Friday nights was crazy with everyone out having a good time. I was the first time I had a "Sunday roast" at a friends house.

Another place I visited was Marlow, Buckinghamshire. Again a very lovely suburb which was similar to Henley but somehow felt smaller. I also visited High Wycombe and a few other places that were more like big towns.

Even though I did very much love my visit to the UK, I face challenges when attempting to make meaningful relationship with the women there. Suffice to say "dating" in the UK would appear to be very difficult. It seems like people in the UK move in groups or certain social circles. If you weren't part of that circle your not getting any play. The ladies were very polite but the relationship never went past the first meeting. I was told men from far away countries had luck using online dating but I am not sure which websites are the best for that kind of thing.

Can anyone help me with the dilemma of dating in Britain? Are there websites for meeting them?

How can someone make a hook up with someone on a short term visit and make it blossom into something better?

Cheerio

 

Quite interesting.

You may have a tough time getting advice on here given that there are those who seem to believe the best opportunities to find ww would be in the countries you mentioned. I think they would be quite surprised to find that a Black man would have any difficulty in finding love in those countries.

You may want to do a search and read the many threads on this site that are specifically about Black men and non-American women. Maybe you will find some helpful information there.

 

Well I believe it's not so much a case of them women not being attracted to black men but more a case of how to develop a relationship in such a short time.

Thanks for the advice though. However there doesn't seem to be many threads on dating in Britain.

 

Take some photos when you get to the UK.

 

Did you go on the dating websites on Google.co.uk?

 

I'm not sure what more you can expect if you're a tourist or newcommer. Making friends takes time.

Kinda have to live there and have work and nonworking life.

 

hi, sorry didn't receive a notification for your replies. yes had a look around. many of them ban african countries due to the fraud some these men get up to. sucks when a few spoil the fun for the rest.

 

Sorry that happened to you PeeJay. I sincerely hope you do get a hookup in London soon.

 

This is why I was wondering if it would be worth me pipelining through the internet instead of trying to go the social circle route.

 

My suggestion is to make friends first and learn about the women whom might be dateable. The internet is too risky no matter where you are.

 

If you are living in the UK it would be a little easier but,like G said you had to be careful.

 

I'm from the UK

My first year of college I had a Nigerian roommate. He was a good looking guy, but nothing out of the ordinary. I didn’t see him as competition for girls. This was a mistake. My friend had sex with some of the hottest girls on campus. It blew my mind. These were exactly the kind of girls I never thought would sleep with a black guy.

What also boggled my mind was that they weren’t giving me the time of day.

I chalked it up to luck at the time but when I looked back at my friend’s success a few years later I realized something.

My Nigerian friend was one of the biggest party people and social guys on campus. He also dressed white. I know, I know. I mean the whole khaki pants, button up shirt uniform. His fashion combined with his social circle showed girls that he was part of their culture.



He could relate to their cultural experience, he knew which jokes to say, the lyrics of the songs to sing along to – he was part of their tribe.

He was a fun guy to be around who had mastered his basics inschool. But a big part of what made him successful was his ability to relate to the girls he wanted to hook up with.

Guys who date interracially tend to be in the same sub-culture as the girl. Whether it’s an Indian guy who is into EDM or an Asian guy who’s into CrossFit, these guys are more likely to date girls outside of their race. All that being said, I’m not telling you to be a sell-out. If you genuinely dislike something don’t incorporate it into your personality, it will come across as incongruent.

When I used to use my race as a crutch I would give up on sets really easily. This is because if a girl didn’t give me a favourable response I would just label her a racist, get mad at the world, and move on. The thing was, a lot of these girls weren’t even full on rejecting me. They were just not being overly friendly. This meant that I was actually gaming a very small sample size of women.

Since I ditched my race crutch I have had so much more success. This is because I don’t accept initial rejections anymore. I tell myself when I want to stop that I have as a good a shot as anyone in here of getting this girl. I keep in mind that I have value. When the race excuse begins to crop up, I cut it off by saying in my head, “I’m awesome.” I’m not saying that my phrase will work for you, but get out there and don’t allow yourself to give up when you get initially rejected.

The first few minutes after you approach that's when your race matters. This is when she will be assessing you objectively and not emotionally. But the longer you stand there spitting good game, the more her emotions get involved. The less defensive she becomes the more she experiences who you are and stops judging.

Your race could matter when it comes to her friends. This is because she doesn’t want to be labeled a slut. You will also get more last-minute resistance than a guy from her race would. When this happens, just take a few steps back and work on making her feel more comfortable. Ask her if this is her first time with a guy from your background. This will help her discharge some of her internal experience which can lead to sex.

Finally, race can be an issue when the relationship gets serious. This is especially the case for black guys. For some girls, dating a black guy could lead to her getting ostracized by her family. There is also a strong slut shaming sentiment in racist communities for a woman to date a black guy openly. With this there is nothing you can do about it, it matters how strong your bond is with her and her estimates on the social repercussions for dating someone outside of her race. But don’t worry about that until you’re there.

So back to your story. Your going to Henley Reggatta ?

Those posh women, come from money, hell the vast majority of white men would not be good enough for them, they f**k people who are like them. Your not in their tribe. Now some of them may f**k a blk man or black woman on the low, when they're over in the Caribbean, but in front of there workmates ? there mums and dads and brother and sisters ?

And you expect to game them there ? Dude. That's Prince William and Prince Harry territory your f*cking with there.

 

Homeboys who live large in the UK gets those posh women.

 

How can I have my own love in Britain too I mean I need a girl from there is that possible

 

Well me too

 

As a white British woman living not a million miles away from those towns, I can relate to the OP's predicament (I think).
First off let me say that although Kate Middleton married into the royal family she certainly is not that posh.
There's no reason whatsoever the OP couldn't find himself a nice middle class girl just like her.
If those are the girls you like then just go for it. I guarantee there are middle class white British girls who will be interested in you, you just need to find them that's all. In my opinion the biggest problem is guys over-thinking and over-analysing this stuff. There's plenty of that on this thread for sure.

As a rule you'll find us mostly to be friendly, approachable and nice. The only thing you really have to do is be presentable, be friendly, and break the ice.
After that if a girl likes you she will let you know. It takes time for things to develop from there as someone already pointed out. Unfortunately there's no getting around that.

You may find there are girls who will make the initial approach to you, but I'd say they will be a small minority. It's something I and my single friends would never do. You must make the first move. Be polite, friendly & non-threatening and she will most likely be so flattered you are half way there already.

I have lost count of the occasions where I'll see a nice looking guy who I know is interested (we can tell, you know) and be just waiting for him to come over and say hi. That's the biggest thing which separates the guys who are successful with women from those who are not, in my opinion.
Please... just come over and say hi

 

Great advice Redlolly. I had been to the UK many times but,I had not dated on since I'm mostly on holiday there. Only if a homeboy stays and works in the UK could he has a chance with that woman from the UK. Fat chance if he wants to date one when she and her mates on hen night.

 

I think you're totally wrong actually.
With that sort of defeatist attitude you definitely won't get anywhere.
Anything is possible. Just be open minded, talk to the girl, and go from there.

 

Redlolly,you are more like a Yank than a Brit since I always hear from a American of the "Anything is possble" thing.

 

Maybe you're just really,really over-generalising? That's not a criticism by the eay, I'm just saying.
For what it's worth my man and I live in different countries, and we met in a different country again where I was on holiday.
Maybe it will work out for us & maybe not, but we are trying to make it work, because it's what we both want.
It's difficult, for sure, and there are challenges to be overcome, but it's not all bad. There are great parts about it too.
We communicate really well, because we have to. We both know our time together is precious, so we don't waste a single moment of it.
Time apart is time to think of ideas. Things we can do together, little gift ideas, things we want to talk about or say, stuff like that.
I have never known a more considerate, thoughtful man. It's because we have that time and space to think. It forces us to not take each other for granted.
Maybe things won't work out for us, who knows. It's difficult sometimes for sure. But definitely not impossible.

The other thing I wanted to say is the best advice I was ever given is that 90% of attractiveness is the vibe you give off.
If your attitude and demeanour are negative, then you will unavoidably give off a negative vibe which will make you seem unattractive to others & turn them off before you even meet them. If you think and act and behave in a positive manner, your mood and body language will be positive, and so will the vibe you give off.
That positive vibe will make you more attractive to others, for sure.

Sorry if all this seems a bit preachy, I really don't mean it too. Nor is it meant in any way as a criticism.
I just hate negativity & defeatism is all, because they turn into self-fulfiulling prophecy. You have much more influence over some of these situations than you realise, and the way you approach them can have a big effect on the outcome.
I am a positive, glass-half-full person it's true, but I am 100% British, just for the record.