Why is it so hard for you women to simply say i'm not attracted to you and...

Touché

 

I know how that is. I have felt the same way. Being alone and accepting it is like acquiring a new suit of armor. Nothing and no one can ever hurt you. You would be like the Australian outlaw Ned Kelly, who fashioned a suit of armor and faced the authorities as his gang rode away. They fired at him multiple times and he still stood.

Just be you , my friend and soldier on.

I accept that I am socially awkward. I wear it with pride. I have better things to do. When my ship comes in, those who had rejected me would probably be seeking me out.

That's how you should move forward. Unique, intelligent and invulnerable to harm.

 

More than likely, if a guy had been an asshole from the start, he wouldn't be in the friend zone. So, it's kind of the whole point.

Keep in mind, I'm mostly talking about women who were interested in you at the start, then lost that romantic feel for you. Now, she wants ti be bros and you're still wanting something more. At least a fuck buddy situation.

Sometimes guys get extra nice for girls they're really feeling and it ends up turning the woman off. What I'm propising will help with that.

 

While, I'll draw the line at holding the door, I wouldn't let it slam in her face either. And I'd not allow her to come to harm.

Dating is really a game to me (well, when I was dating). But, when it comes to real world consequences, I take things seriously. In that regard,I'm old school. Walk her to her car ...that sort if thing.

 

Women put men in the friend zone because they don't want to be "mean" and also to have someone around when shit ain't going right in their lives. They also enjoy male energy. I have a friend who dated a guy she wasn't really into just because she enjoyed his friend group because they were far less catty and competitive than the females around her.

Bottom line humans are very self interested and self obsessed and do a lot of shit for very selfish reason. We're all in it for self love before love of others.

 

The King of the North doth speaketh the truth!

But, there are some good ones out there. They are far and very few between, though.

 

lol thanks

I agree there are a lot of descent women out there but in the last year I have seen how much culture influences people, far more than we're aware. The biggest problem a lot of American women have is they expect to literally have it all. They want the chiseled well paid funny guy with a heart of gold (not all women of course) and will pass over men they could have genuine happiness with because its not as close to ideal as possible. Not to mention they are very very self centered, if you don't believe that look no further than a wedding lol.

And before anyone gets their panties all twisted up I see this with men too but we aren't talking about men right now. I also see this in a very different manner but that's a conversation for a different thread.

 

That's the bottom line, for sure. I knew a girl years ago who didn't have a lot of female friends. She had male friends. She told me(I had mentioned this before), that girls are funny. They are not used to the adoration from a guy. In other words, girls are only looking out for themselves. They don't just put a guy in the friend zone, they can also manipulate an unsuspecting guy into doing what they want of them.

 

It's not that I'll limp myself along upon interaction. Just in the back of my head, I'm always ready for any outcome that seems to be expected. So, my expectations would lessen, but I wouldn't let it bother me anyway. The fact is, I'm "old" and maybe I should just focus more on my personal worth and life.

I think what is lost in some people is a sense of self-love and self-worth, and needing a piece of that from someone else somewhat mars the possibility of someone realizing that they are already complete, given that their existence isn't dependent on someone else's shoulder. You carry the weight of the the world, your world in particular, to make the best trek back to home in your own worth.

I'm an eccentric, socially awkward individual myself (and one suffering from a somewhat severe case of depression), but the other thing about me is that I think it would be better for me to stay in isolation because my deathbed is something where I refuse to have people around me mourn for my loss. I'm just another speck in this vast universe and my value in life, from a very objective standpoint, is really meaningless. So, I think I may carry the rest of my life with pride and bear my the burdens of my own accord.

 

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Some interesting responses in here.

 

Being a speck of dust in this vast universe also means to be an explorer. It doesn't mean that you stay put no matter how many burdens you carry because, as you know, the universe is vast.

I have never had a serious relationship with a woman. I am not married. I'm not saying that I am unattractive. I am just not on everyone's wavelength, hence my eccentricities and ways. But I DO love myself. I DO have worth when others don't see it. There was a tale that I have when I was a little boy in school. It was, indeed, an interactive tale that had a surprising result. We had to write on a small sheet of paper the word IALAC. In this tale a little boy was given that sign by his mother. IALAC breaks down to I Am Loveable And Capable. The boy was instructed to tear off a piece of the sign after something happened to him. Good or bad. The boy goes through a lot of mishaps at school. He tears a piece of the sign after each incident. In the end, after all that, he realized that he is loveable and capable.

You are loveable and capable, MS. You have worth and something to share with the world.

Don't forget that.

Do you remember the line from the film The Ghost And The Darkness, when Michael Douglas as John Remington says, "We have a sayin' in prize fightin' that everybody has a plan until they get hit. Well, my friend, you've just been hit. The gettin' up is up to you."

I work at Wal-Mart. It's not the most desirable job to have, but I look at it as a matter of survival. Survival isn't pretty. Therefore, I use this as a springboard to other opportunities if they come around. I don't intend to spend the rest of my life working here.

You are in survival mode now. Take the time to to explore other options that may be appealing to you. No one matters right now but you.

 

Good looking out Gorath... well done fam.

 

Well stated. As far as the plan statement....its better to have a plan versus not having one. You can always adjust it

The next thing is how to get that woman.
It pisses me off that we see bros and the ladies here go thru pain and we give them a pep talk and then stop.

Well a pep talk is not enuff. You have to be told "how"

If you aren't telling them how then you aren't helping them

 

Everyone's experience is different in their lives. I cannot tell anyone how to achieve their goals. Because we all gather here online, it is difficult to demonstrate how one can succeed in their own lives. A pep talk is all I can give and if that pep talk helped anyone, then that person is inspired. I am thankful that I could help in that way.
Finding someone is difficult. We all have a wish list of things that we would want in a person.No one is going to be 100% . There will be jagged cuts on the diamond. No one is going to be perfect.

The healing begins with the person.

And time heals all wounds.

Everyone has their own way to heal.

 

Yep , you look her in the face and tell her you cannot be her friend because you would be deceiving yourself. Tell her she brings out the most primal instinct in a man when he sees a desirable woman and that instinct is to mate and you would have incessant sex with her if you had the chance so no you CANT be a friend and go home with blue balls everytime.

I did this when I was single and was pushed into that zone and after she broke up with a guy she dated after trying to put me in the friend zone, I was there for her post break up sex. Women remember certain words spoken to them and she said those words I told her made her feel like the most desirable woman in the world and she was grateful. Whether she was bullshitting or not i didnt give a fuck because we were fucking and that was all that mattered to me. Friend zone? Fuck no.

 

Fuck a friend then! Lol

 

Preach it. While I have no issue with friendships between genders... No one has the right to put a person who's attracted to them in another box just to avoid being "the bad guy". I think it's somewhat cowardly, and definitely unfair to the other person. Of course if both are open to being friends... then it's all good.

 

I get what you are saying but you are missing the point in what I'm saying. You guys (to me and what I gathered) are saying you are tired of being rejected.

If so then ket me say this. there's no exact science but There are some things you should and shouldn't do to land in the friend zone.

Example, all the women I've dealt with told me that I'm a str8 nerd but I still had a fwb relationship or a longterm relationship. How did that happen? I guarantee I'm no better looking than you and I surely don't make more money than you. So how did I do it?

I'm going tell you this my friends got me hip to what was up. Afterwards my success rate went up. Do I get turned down? Yes. Do I quit? Fuck no. Do I have relationships here and there? Yes.

The thing is not everyone has the gift to gab but they can learn to understand what to do. I'm not promising dimes or whatever but you will be at least get what you are looking for.