Why is it so hard for you women to simply say i'm not attracted to you and...

What do you get out of putting men in the friendzone?

 

I think it is because women already know whom they want as friends and whom they want as a boyfriend or lover. I am not sure if it is also because of the drama in their own lives. If things work out, they work out.

Then there is the "confidence" angle. Confidence is attractive to women because they want a guy who is strong enough to handle the ups and downs of life with a smile. They need a guy who is optimistic and not pessimistic.

This is just my personal observation. A woman(on this site or anywhere else) may not reply to this question.

 

Come on North. It's time to be real. Women can't resist you. Lady killer. You've never even had those words shot at you....ever. They're ALL attracted to you!!!!

 

I done heard it all lol.... anyway you dork, stop dodging my questions and enlighten me.

 

How bout you 'suck me beautiful' instead?

 

Cute, real cute dollface. I haven't told you yet but I randomly go off the grid for a few days to weeks at a time... think imma leave my phone at home for a few days starting today. The withdrawal you'll go thru will be hilarious.

 

Two can play that game pimp juice.

 

I think, for the most part, a guy is only in the friend zone if he allows it. If a woman really just wants to be a friend, then be her friend if you can. But, don't treat her like you're waiting to be promoted out of the friend zone.

Treat her like you treat your guy friends. Do you hold doors for your guy friends? Do you tell them how hot they are? Do you pay for meals and concerts and shit for them? Nope, and if she's just a friend, you should not do those things for her either. That shit is reserved for women who want more from you.

Talk about how hot this chick is or that chick is because that's what you do with your male friends. Talk about that great blow job you got the other night. Hit on her hot friends and leave her hanging. Interupt her time with you with phone calls from other women. When you guys are out and you see some hot girl, go holla at her. And if the hot girl asks who she, tell her she's just my friend. Introduce the the two and tell her to go wait for you at the bar or back in the ride. And never, ever show a bit of jealousy over any guy she meets or tells you about. That's what guy friends do with their guy friends. If she can't deal, then that's on her.

Or, you could throw a hail mary and tell her thanks, but no thanks. You don't have female friends you aren't having sex with because it's not fair to you. The time you spend hanging out with her could be spent with someone else. Believe it or not, those two behaviors can get you out of the friendzone about half the time.

My theory on it is guys get into the friendzone because the women start to find guys too nice and safe. So, when you pull a dick move, suddenly, you're not so nice and therefore interesting again. Your mileage may vary.

 

Well stated. Women are great wing men especially a hot one

 

Sometimes a woman gets sick and tired of the bullshit and games men play and we are quick to shut down a potential suitor just for the sake of protecting ourselves regardless what type of person they might be.

 

That's not putting a dude in the friend zone.

That's putting a dude on notice by bluntly singing "never gonna get it....never gonna get it ,,never gonna get it...ooohh oooh"

 

How does a guy let himself be placed in the friend zone? Does a guy have to be in Hunter mode every time they see a woman every day? The man will choose a woman who would catch his eye, but it is also up to the woman and how she feels. It's all up to the woman. It's her decision whether or not to respond to a man.

 

Not necessarily

Sometimes it's easier just to be friends with someone without the expectation that someone wants something more. I know I have been at a point where I got so tired of the bullshit that I would much rather kick it and be friends rather than pursue someone romantically.

 

Great points but I'm sorry she will think you are an asshole if you do some of the stuff you have posted here because Men and Women are different in their outlook on most things. Being a friend to a woman requires a lot of tact and class and those things you are postulating my friend wont cut it. A female normally relies on her male friend to giver her a male perspective on something, they also confide in their male friends when their boyfriends cheat on them or are acting up. How can a woman do that if you are telling her you went balls deep in three different women over the weekend as you would probably say to your guy friends?.

That being said, as a single person i never wanted to be in the friend zone because frankly it is slightly an affront to a male if a woman does not see him as a sexual partner in any scenario at all no matter how sensible it may be. As a married man now, I am cool having a female friend or two because I have no choice to think it could be more than that.

 

Yeah, I feel ya.

 

I think women are often fooling themselves when they think this will happen though. Usually if a man is hanging around, he's hoping for something more.

I've come to think that it's not really fair to men for women to do the whole "friend" thing (generally speaking) too. Usually women are saying they want to be friends because they are either sick of the bullshit and feeling a bit wounded so they want someone around who's nice, safe, and fun. At some point, she's going to want to get back out there though and the "Friend" guy is not one she's going to want to get with. So then she wants him to become what Appiah was describing. Which is fine if he's not interested in more (married, etc) but usually that's not the case and he's been hanging around because he wants something more. Often he's been thinking if he hangs around and is "there for her" she will either realize what a good guy he is and get with him, or she's going to want the physical turn to him.

Women don't put men they would really want to be with into the friend zone.

 

Agree I don't think women but men they really are interested into the "friend zone" because they have a genuine interest in developing something deeper with that person.

I guess it truly depends on where they are in their lives and what they are looking for at that time.

I am also very careful about giving someone the wrong impression (leading anyone on) and I am generally upfront from the beginning if I'm not looking for anything more than friendship or I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship.

Men and women can actually just be friends.

 

Sure, if he's gay, someone's married, or they aren't attracted.

 

I thought it was more the nurturing, don't want to hurt his feelings thing. I heard... "You're not my type", "Can we be friends" . I simply take as ... You win some, you lose some. I can understand why it may be hard for some. I know when I've had to deleiver the same message... It wasn't easy for me either because (1) I also don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and I simply don't want to be an asshole because I'm not interested.

 

I do say I'm not attracted to them, or not interested.

Lots of women don't want to "hurt feelings" but then they end up dragging the guy along and hurt them more by doing the nice thing. I think you can be straight about things without being rude and not play games.

OH btw...no woman thinks she's playing games when she does the nice thing.