I've noticed that there are lots of people out there who claim to want relationships but when it comes down to it, they aren't really up to doing what it takes. They want an established relationship without having to put out the effort to create, build, and maintain it. Everything is about immediate gratification and disposing of anything that doesn't fit the ideal (or fantasy), which makes it next to impossible to get to anything solid.
Agreed. They want all of the pluses of being in an established relationships, but have no interest in putting forth any effort to maintaining the relationship. I think they simply want a s/o when it's convenient, but act as if they're single any other time. Sucks as they end up wasting another person time.
Very true! I also think that people have such unreal expectations of a relationship that it takes much more effort to build than it should.
What about those like myself, whom have never had a close relationship other than platonic? I think those who had been in relationships expect a lot in almost every relationship they are in because they believe it is about them and wish to have the most control. I have heard many discussions about relationships and it's like the drama in the relationship is the focus. The process in the relationship is what frightens them because they know that the relationship can end at anytime.
I agree. It's all about mentality and personality. And an adundance of sexuality would be highly regarded.
Ok...and how is any of that different for someone who hasn't been in a relationship? Given that they haven't been in a relationship, just how realistic are they about their desires and expectations? Isn't it possible that there are control issues (maybe more so) given that they haven't been willing/able to have a relationship? Are they possibly not very afraid that a relationship could end at any time?
Everyone, to a certain degree, is afraid. The only expectation I have is that I am treated with the same courtesy I give in the said relationship. If everyone has courage, no one, no matter what they look like, would be lonely. Can you imagine a world where everyone dated, married, have children and nothing happens? No looks, states, or side comments. No societal hang ups whatsoever. Just people going about their business. Of course, this is just a utopian fantasy. In this fantasy, control is decided by the couple and no one else. It's no business of anybody because they are not in the equation. In such a world, everyone makes it a point to communicate and listen.
Is the world that you described really so great? Is it really what you would want? Think about it. So then people just get together indiscriminately.There are always some sort of standards, a bar for whatever is important to each individual. For some it's money, fame, looks, values, personality, and on and on the list goes. So in this "utopia" people just get together with whoever passes their path and all goes well? You mention no one being lonely. I can say with certainty that there are many people in relationships, families, large networks of people who are extremely lonely.
