Any other Arab girls struggling with family racism?

I need help!

 

I don't think we have any Arabs on this site.

 

Hmmm..well then I guess I would appreciate any input from others.

 

It's all good.

 

I think you might need to be more specific about what you are dealing with.

 

My family is very unaccepting of black people. I started dating one and I have to sneak around...it has been very stressful. Is this common for others?

 

Being alongside a BM is a tough row to hoe for any woman.


Funny how Arab men and BW don't have to sneak around to be together.

 

Well personally I think it's ridiculous, but my family wasn't born here. So, they are very conservative...of course they want me to marry a nice Arab boy. I don't see that happening...but I'm not sure sneaking around is going to cut it either.

 

Just make sure your man is capable of providing a good life for you if and when the shit hits the fan.

 

There are all sorts of different things in life that will challenge family relationships. There are things that will cause conflict and give us the opportunity to take a stand on how we feel about things. For some it comes when they get married and are going through the whole wedding planning stuff, for others it's when they have children and how they choose to raise their children. For some it's who they choose to be with.

It's part of growing up, finding your voice, and standing on your own.

It can be very difficult to go against your family. You know what the consequences are in your family. That's something you have to take a look at. Are you able to deal with what comes with your choices?

I don't think sneaking is ever a good thing. But only you are going to be able to determine what works best for you, and with your family.

 

Good advice.

She's up against it being an Arab woman with a BM.

They don't like that shit at all...they make southern rednecks look progressive when it comes to Black people....especially BM.

 

Yep, there are all sorts of layers of shit going on there. Beliefs and culture is very strong.

 

I feed bad for you. I grew up just outside of Dearborn Michigan, so I have some idea of what you must be going through. Unfortunately, there are no easy answers. All of the situations where I've seen it work out were ones where the parents were already open minded. I've seen girls get disowned by their families for dating black guys.

I'm sorry there are no easy answers here. If you want to pursue black men, make sure he's worth it and be prepared to possibly be seperated from your family.

 

He really needs to understand what he's dealing with too. I've seen people take a stand and later find the s/o isn't up to dealing with it all and then they are out there by themselves after they thought it was going to be the 2 of them against the world. I think one needs to be strong in their conviction regardless of whether or not the other person will be there, if that's the path they choose to go.

Many people will advise to walk on families that are this way. That's an easy thing to say, but many don't understand how deep it goes. I've made choices and dealt with the consequences for every choice I made, but that doesn't mean I recommend the same to others. It can be really rough, so each person needs to evaluate their own situation.

 

i dont know how far you are ready to go and i dont know how far your familiy is ready to go. but i tell you that much, check your situation well. in germany, in familiar situations, not only with bm but with german men aswell, the boyfriends and the girls got killed coz they took it as dishonoring the family. serious shit.

 

What's done in the dark will eventually come to the light...

 

He's not rich, but may be worth the risks. I just don't know yet...thanks for your support.

 

With ?????? being said, you should prepare for a worst case scenario, ??????.

 

yep!

 

I'm going to continue seeing him, but I have a lot to think about.