Looks or Personality?

Looks are the bait and personality is what keeps you coming back for more. Doesn't matter if a girl or guys is a perfect 10 on the outside and an absolute 0 with in. You will eventually figure out there is no substance and get tired of it and leave.

The same goes the other way as well. We are human beings and no matter what we say we are all a little bit shallow. If the person has gotten beaten with the UGLY stick but is the sweetest, most charming, fun, & charismatic person in the world to be around. A person would eventually feel I like being around this person but I could not look at and be around them for the rest of my life intimately.

The key is finding a balance between them if you are going for someone for the long term. Ideally you want to find that person that gets your motor running physically but at the same time they can get it going mentally and emotionally as well. If you are just looking for a quick fling nothing serious then looks all the way, if you are not planning on being around the person or getting serious who cares what their personality is like.

For Lust = Looks
For Love = Looks + Personality

 

True. That's why I freely admit the shallow part initially. That gets my attention, then the getting aquainted part is where the chemistry/compatibilty comes into play. I'm fine with the cost of dating, but I'll never intended to be anyone's ATM. So, I totally get what the ladies are saying in regard to not expecting the guy to foot all of the expenses. Those are the tpyes I always end up with, and trsut that I have run across some who did have that gold digger mentality. Those were cases in which I quickly moved on. By the same token, I know some dudes are willing to freeload off women. Either way it sucks.

 

Why is it considered "shallow" to be attracted someone's looks? I'm 100% sure whoever coined the phrase shallow based on looks was hurt that someone they were attracted to wasn't attracted to them.

 

Fair enough question. I don't think I'm a shallow person per se. However, I admit that in addition to the inner qualities... I also need to see an appearance that's pleasing to my eye

 

it's called pc.

you cant necessarily see personality sorta. I dated a woman that was below my standards as far as looks but it was the way she carried herself and that ass. look at that azz

I like big butts and I will not lie. my anoconda wanted those buns.

 

You're probably right. It's ridiculous to think we aren't attracted by someone's looks. That doesn't mean that you will choose to be with them ONLY because of their looks. (maybe you do, maybe you don't) But it's natural to be attracted to someone's physical characteristics. We are human beings and wired to do so....really no different than any other species.

 

I'd agree that generally many of us need a balance of the two. It also seems that some require less in the way of good looks than others. I'm all about the substance, but it's important that I see a pretty face too., and like GL.... I want to see a nice ass too

 

I don't think it's shallow at all. That is how things begin imo. If I don't feel physical attraction, I dont play. I tried the "physical attraction may happen later down the road" never worked out. But physical attraction may be the only thing you have, and if that is the case, I won't play either.I need more than that. Just because someone look good"on paper" doesn't mean they are for you.
So I start with physical attraction and dont feel is one bit shallow
Granted, if they don't fulfill any other needs, I'm out. I can't be bothered anymore if there is nothing else there.

 

Both.

Doesn't have to be drop dead gorgeous, but attractive enough to make me want to initiate contact. From there, personality takes over. Looks do fade, after all.

Spot on! Could not have said it better.......

 

I think Halle Berry is a good example for this. She's gorgeous but somethings not quit right. Her resume for men has too many pages.

 

Good point. Looks that'll definitely attract any man, but when shit gets real... He may be out with the quickness.

 

Halle Berry's problem with men is that she wants her men to be heroes she could look up to. It's a very unrealistic expectations of men and it creates problems. All these men from David Justice to her last husband(I forgot his name) weren't with Halle Berry for very long.

 

Yeah Halle definitely has something wrong with her...

 

Jennifer aniston too

 

Ha yep. Man I hate how movies casted her as "the girl next door" type. Honey it ain't happening. Her movie career has flopped.

 

Real talk lol
At least she got that Friends money. She'll always be ok

 

As someone who has never seen a single episode of Friends, I don't see what the appeal of Jennifer Aniston is. Sure, she seems to be a n attractive and cool person in the classic tv girlfriend sense, but I just don't see it. Maybe it's because she sees her and the rest of the cast as part of a large community with their fans.

 

Perfect example. Angelina Jolie got Aniston's man, likely, cause of personality (swagger). Aniston's girl-next-door personality might actually be preferable, but Angelina's allure ...well, ...

 

Or is Aniston fucked up like TDK mentioned??

 

I feel the same way, actually I get bitch vibes from Aniston