Have you ever said things to your lover that you regret

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/10-most-deadly-phrases-in-a-relationship_us_5717ae60e4b0c9244a7a7f19?
The 10 Most Deadly Phrases In A Relationship
Nothing good can come of telling your spouse “you sound just like your mother.”

When you’re married or in a long-term relationship, some things are better left unsaid.

Below, marriage therapists and other experts share 10 phrases and statements to strike from your vocabulary now.

1. “You never do the dishes. You always just leave them sitting there.”


2. “You sound exactly like your mother.”

3. “You think you’re better than everyone else!”

Read the rest of the article for the rest of the phrases not to say.
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After reading the article, can you say you said those things to your lover (gf/bf/husband/wife)?

What are the things you regret saying to your lover?

What other phrases that shouldn't be said to your lover?

What has been said to you that made you pack your bags and hit the road?

 

Things that don't fly with me are:

Confiding something in him and he throws it back at me in an argument.

Those who want to go back over every detail of what was said and argue about minutia.

Dismissing or discounting how I feel about something.

Any form of insult or ridicule, especially to friends or family. I just witnessed this with a friend of mine. Her bf made some comments about her trying to be funny and it was really rude. I see women doing this all the time...joking about how their husbands don't do things, etc. Not cool.

All forms of disrespect.

 

Lol that child's play, I'm the king of hurting feelings and trashing self esteem

 

All. The. Time.

 

What was the worst ,if you don't mind sharing?

 

Unfortunately I have done it so many times I cannot remember the worse thing I said. I am guilty of bringing up past transgressions after promising I would not, however. I also admitted something terrible in a conversation I was having with a friend of mine in front of my boyfriend about my ex husband and what he used to do (we had been drinking) that I can never take back. Words can damage so easily!

 

Oh yes. Its like toothpaste .... Once its out you can't put it back in the tube

 

I think this is why I am such a quiet/vocally-reserved (?) individual in real life. I've seen a million times over, people saying things that I knew they'd regret later. I can come off standoff-ish I think sometimes but it's really just that I have zero desire to say too much so often times I say nothing at all. There's a happy medium somewhere, I just don't frequently find it lol.

 

Agreed. I do tend to be cautious abut the things I say, especially in the times of conflict. One thing I don't want is for stuff to thrown up to me in an argument or repeatedly. Words really do hurt, and I don't want just blurt out anything just because I'm unhappy at the time.

 

I've caught flack at times because I will be cautious with my words. But, I learned long ago to take a minute and not react because of the destruction it can cause. There are those who like to push buttons and try to get a reaction, but that never goes in a good direction.

I really think it's a sign of maturity when you think before you speak.

 

Agreed! My ex-wife would some times get up in her feelings with conflict/people in the workplace. I used to often advise her (especially when sending/replying to e-mail) to do one of these two things. If she's upset at the time either wait until she has calmed down to write or... Write the e-mail, and not send (leave in drafts folder), and read over it later when she's calm. Even in person.... Try to walk away from the situation and discuss when emotions aren't running high, and make a conscious effort to not be overly confrontational.

 

Good advice!

My ex did ridiculous things like wanting to keep pushing things when I said I needed to take a break or go for a walk or something and come back to it. I see people do this all the time. It's sooooooooo much better to just give each other some space and come back to discuss it later. I could [maybe] understand if it was a situation where I was just going to cut it off and not deal with it later, but to just keep pushing things when emotions are heightened is not wise.

 

Funny thing is, I usually am very reserved also. Sometimes you have a close friendship and even if you are joking and not paying attention (and drinking) girls say the darnedest things and that should have been left in a convo amongst women (closest friends) and def not in front of someone you care about.

Yes I still feel terrible about it

 

Me ex did the same. Drove me crazy. Nothing pushes me away faster than someone trying to force me to speak when I'm not ready. I take time to digest things, I don't like to be rushed. Pissed me off like crazy lol

I hear you. Sucks to feel regret over something we can't take back. Been there.

 

I had things like that said to me. I had asked out this woman for the third time. For the third time, her reply was no. She then told me to, "Get over it." It sounded condescending and cruel. I began to cry because of this double whammy. She suddenly realized what had happened and her tone softened. Our friendship had come extremely close to ending. She then told me, "I'm very flattered to have a male friend who thinks of me the way you do."
I felt better but I still lost her to someone else.

 

I avoid conflict at all costs. The worst thing i ever said was i know why your ex broke up with you you're not sexual enough. Though i was told it was her that wasn't the sexual one. I've learnt over the years to walk away. If I'm arguing with the person I'm with he's not worth my time. Lifes too short for minor bullshit and pointless arguments.

 

Even in just casual convo words can destroy a relationship.

I was dating a woman not to long ago and she was just casually talking about her past relationships. We only dated for about a year. Well she gave me just parts of the puzzle but I had enuff to get the picture. It was time to dump her

 

Talking about past relationships is a conscious and unconscious way of comparing the ex with the current, which is a forbidden subject and more than likely will lead to problems later on.

 

Also if that person is telling about past relationships then it gives you a clue in how they act and may act in the future.

 

Absolutely! Some people seem to want what they want when they want it. I give my ex credit for knowing when I had to step back to digest things. Also, too many people are on this thing of... When they're mad they can just say anything, and then retract it/apologize later. Many need to realize that words really do hurt, and some things simply cannot be retracted.

Yup. I usually operate the same. I'm happy to discuss issues, because we all have them at some point. However, I'm not at all for yelling, constant bickering and so on. If we're at that point... It's probably time to move on.

I'm OK with answering a question or two here and there about past relationships. But, I'm not into this thing of complaining/bashing the ex. My thing is that we all have a past, and it's not important for me to know the details of my s/o's prior relationships.