Your girl just moved in with you...

Would you let her skate with just cooking and taking care of the place...

Or

does she HAVE to pay half of rent and bills?

 

I think it depends on many things. Assuming all things are equal, like we're both gainfully employed and such... Yes, she pays part of the household expenses. Of course all of this gets discussed, planned and so on before she moves in. You both have to be on the same page.

 

She's suppose to be my partner so of course she pays. We're trying to build something together

 

It depends on the couple and how they want to do things. There are all sorts of factors that come into play (i.e. mindsets, income levels, costs, goals, kids, etc)

 

Exactly my feeling. The first time a g/f and I talked about living together... I was working full time with my own place, and she was starting law school with a p/t job. She ended up rooming with a fellow friend/student, but had she moved in with me...The plan was for her to pay a small portion of the expenses. Truth-be-told, I probably would've simply had her cover her own expenses only since we weren't doing anything like getting a bigger place.

 

Nah she's paying her half. It's the 21t century and I live in california, I'm not gonna date a maid.

 

So she makes a LOT more than you and you have high rent....still think 1/2 is good?

 

I'd still try to spend half or any other realistic accommodation.

I'd rather pay mine than clean and cook for my stay.

 

Yes!

 

Hmmm! I guess I'm in the minority here. As TDK said... "We're trying to build something together". That said... Why not operate more as a combined force. I don't take issue with her paying half, but I feel like if one person is bringing in significantly more $$$... Perhaps it's a good idea to share in such a way. When I was married... My ex-wife and I had similar salaries. A couple years later she got a job where she earned significantly more than I (nearly a 40% difference) I. While I was OK with keeping things 50/50 as I do feel it's her decision since it's her money... She suggested that it made sense for her to pick up a larger part of the expenses. While we didn't make her increased share to be 40% more... She did take on more, and it worked out for us as a combined unit. We were able to maintain our lifestyle, put more into savings and I was able to pay down some debt more aggressively.

 

I've only lived with 2 men, both of which I married lol, but I've always operated the same way. When I make more, I pay more. We're a team. Even before we were married, we're operating as a unit with long term intent so we handled our finances with the same mentality. Nothing was joint when dating obviously, but we acted as one and since I was making significantly more, I paid significantly more. What's mine is his and vice versa so it worked out well for us that way, and still does

 

Nah. I'm with you if we talking about a wife. If she got into med school or something after I'm done with school, I'd make things easier for her so she could spend more time focusing on studying.

Another scenario is if I'm cruising in my career or business making major bank and she wants to spend her time focusing on the kids. Why not? Why have a partner thats tired or frustrated from dealing with work all day when she could put more time into your kids and overall family goals. Especially when the school system leaves so much to be desired. As long as she is contributing by building up herself and the family I'm good.

Girlfriend? Yeah she is paying half....lol. If we decide to go our separate ways after playing house no big deal....lol

 

You wouldn't think she should be paying more then?

 

I think this is more the norm. When I was married we had joint accounts and everything was made and paid together. It wasn't separated in any way. At times, I have also been the one who was doing things (at their request) to help build businesses/careers where I did not always get a pay check.

Now, after being single for a significant time and after going through all sorts of various ups and downs financially, having kids, etc. I do think it's a good idea to have some things separate. But I don't really see doing the ok it's time to pay the bills where's your 1/2 of each and every thing as if they are a roommate.

I do think it depends on the people and their situations. I also think it's really important to be on the same page and have things spelled out. For me, if one person is going to take a role where they are not usually getting a pay check, then the couple definitely needs to put a dollar value on what they are doing. I think that helps to cut down all the money argument stuff.

 

Nope, that's her money. When I live with a woman, we split everything down the middle and it's always worked for me.

Never had any drama regarding finances with a woman. Let's say my woman made significantly more and wanted to move into a place that mirrors our new combined wealth but I couldn't afford it on my own, I would tell her no.

That's how people be getting fucked up financially.

 

Yes, the communication is key. It must be discussed, and agreed upon. My ex-wife and I had our separate accounts, but we had a joint account which we referred to as the "household account". We'd both transfer an agreed upon amount into the house account every two weeks. Then, she'd pay the mortgage, utilities, and car payment/insurance" from the household account. We'd each pay our "personal" bills which were hanging out, shopping and generally any extras. Sometimes we'd pay extras with the household account since it generally had some extra $$$ in it. As I always say... I don't think there's a right and wrong way. The two people simply need to discuss and come up with a plan that works, and of course adjust as necessary.

 

OK, I get that, and as a divorcee... I definitely know they're no guarantees. I get you points, but my thing is that I wouldn't consider living with a g/f unless we were serious enough that we're beyond just dating. While it's definitely not the same as being married... it is a commitment/understanding that beyond casual dating phase.

 

Makes perfect sense to me.

 

I agree. Living together takes it to another level vs just dating, but on that level she's still paying half.....lol.

 

I think some people may look at it a bit differently if they are at the point where they aren't really interested in getting married (again).

(except....he's not fooling anyone....if the right one came along, he'd get married again)