Terry Crews captures why sexual assault survivors don't come forward

Discussion in 'In the News' started by Loki, Oct 12, 2017.

  1. Bliss

    Bliss Well-Known Member

  2. andreboba

    andreboba Well-Known Member

    This shit is getting a little out of hand.

    Benny Medina allegedly picked up this dude and his friend at a bar in West Hollywood. The three had no professional relationship whatsoever, except for all three working in Hollywood.

    Medina took both these men back to his mansion and each assumed he was trying to hook up with one of them.
    Medina took the victim back to his bedroom after giving both a tour of his home, then once Medina had the victim alone, he jumped on him.

    Now I don't know how two men hook up, if it's aggressive and shit, or all sensitive and rose petals, but the victim acts like if his other friend hadn't entered the bedroom when he did, Medina was about to rape him.

    That's a helluva strong accusation just because someone is being extremely sexually aggressive with you.
    Also, why are you going to let another man in the middle of the night take you back to his bedroom, ALONE, then act all innocent when he makes a move on you??
    These are both these cats right here. The one on the left says Benny Medina tried to rape him.smh

    I knew females when I was younger who wouldn't step foot into a dude's bedroom because it implies you might want to sex them.

    Like I said, this sounds like some deep revenge shit going on in Hollyweird.
  3. Bliss

    Bliss Well-Known Member

    Well, I might agree with you if that's what they said happened.

    But that's not what happened.

    The victim claims he went along so his friend would have a ride home, as well as an opportunity to network since Medins was the consultant for the Tyra Banks Show.
    He was shown the living room and then he was led to a door that was the bedroom. He wasn't led into the bedroom - he said he was grabbed and thrown into the room onto the bed. And that's where Medina aggressively pinned him and choked him to hold him down in order to rape him.
    Going to someone's house with a friend doesn't mean you're down to fucking the person who owns it.
  4. andreboba

    andreboba Well-Known Member

    Big time gay Hollywood agent picks up two out Hollywood actors at a gay club, probably well after 11PM.
    The victim claims he decided to go back to Medina's mansion that night to 'network'?? Yeah, that smells like a bullshit excuse to protect his relationship with his husband.
    You exchange business numbers outside the club for meetings later on, you don't go back to someone's mansion to 'talk business' in the middle of the night.
    You know something wasn't right because Medina left the other dude at his pool and took the victim on a solo tour of his mansion.
    IMO that's called making a move and the victim knew it. If the tour was genuine, the victim would have demanded his friend tag along too.

    There's just obvious crap missing from this story, like alcohol and drug consumption and what the actual conversation was between these two guys and Medina before and after they got to his crib.

    I'm not buying this for one minute.

    Secondly, why was Jason Dottley hanging out one on one at a bar with his bro, another gay man, when he was allegedly married at the time??
    That sounds like someone who's creeping on his spouse.

    Anyway, Dottley was divorced 3 years after this incident occurred, IMO because it wasn't the only time he was linked with other men when he should have been at home being a good spouse.

    I'm not saying the story in general didn't happen the way he said it did, I just think the rape accusation is his being overly dramatic.

    It's hard for me to believe Dottley and his friend didn't get it that Medina was picking them up for sex. Medina didn't know those two dudes from Adam. Why else was he taking to strange men back to his pad in the middle of the night??
    Also it's odd to me that Dottley never told his husband what happened to him.
  5. Bliss

    Bliss Well-Known Member

    Dottley was an actor. Of course Medina knew who he was.
    Hollywood People show off their homes all the time. Medina is no exception. Going back to a crib for more drinks is common among general folk, let alone celebs. So what?
    Their divorce being over him cheating is pure speculation by you, AB. Wow. Lol. Smh.
    Dottley hanging out at a bar with his friend, while married, is not allowed now? That's pretty presumptuous of you. Do you make your girl stay home all the time? (I bet you do :oops:)

    Medina didn't leave the other dude, the dude was swimming. I believe he said he had a sudden weird feeling and that's why he went searching for his friend.
    Exchanging numbers in Hollyweird..is unusual to you? Business card companies survive on it, lol.

    Honestly, gay men don't often cry rape so it could have happened. I didn't even know Medina was gay so this is all a revelation to me, lol.
  6. andreboba

    andreboba Well-Known Member

    There are literally thousands of actors in Hollywood. Dottley was far from famous and Medina never worked with him. IMO there's little chance Medina knew who he was. Medina was trying to pick this guy up.

    Super famous Hollywood power players don't show off their mansions in the middle of the night to random nobodies. You know Dottley isn't well known because he took his story to the Advocate and not a mainstream entertainment outlet.

    Gay bars typically are notorious meat markets. Guys cruising other guys for more than 'conversation'. Medina obviously was there alone and wasn't really trying to do business or make connections.

    I just don't buy that there wasn't some sexual overtones going on that Dottley apparently was innocent of.
    Did Medina try to have sex with him?? No doubt.

    But that doesn't mean he was about to rape him.
  7. Bliss

    Bliss Well-Known Member

    Gay circles know each other. From the article..

    "..At the time, Dottley was a recognizable face in LGBT circles, as he was starring starring in Sordid Lives: The Series on Logo TV....
    Dottley was married to TV writer and playwright Del Shores (Queer as Folk, Sordid Lives) at the time and wore his wedding ring openly..."

    Again, gay men tend to not cry rape. We noted that his husband never knew. So if it was a fuck, why not just keep quiet? Why does his friend present, confirm his story. They could have all just kept a fuck session between themselves, no?
  8. andreboba

    andreboba Well-Known Member

    Do you watch LOGO regularly, Bliss??? I know I don't. Occasionally if I'm up in the middle of the night, I'll watch LOGO for old reruns of Three's Company. I really doubt Benny Medina was keeping up with the latest shows on that obscure cable network. Medina didn't make his coin working in strictly gay circles.
    He was mainstream all the way. It was years before I ever heard Medina was gay. When he worked with J Lo and Will Smith, I had no clue.

    I just think it's highly unlikely in the middle of a gay bar in West Hollywood, Medina recognized Dottley from his TV work. IMO Dottley and Mozelle had to EXPLAIN who they where to Medina before he invited them to his mansion.

    Dottley already admitted he thought Medina was trying to pick up his friend, so at least he understood Medina had a sexual interest in one of them. Dottley just guessed wrong.

    Maybe Medina does goes around cruising gay bars in West Hollywood so he can rape naive actors, I just have a hard time believing that.
  9. Bliss

    Bliss Well-Known Member

    I don't think Benny cruises gay bars to rape men. I think it's that he rarely meets resistance based off of who he is.
    As he kept repeating, "oh yes, l'm taking that ass" (paraphrasing).

    As for LOGO, other than for old sitcoms,
    l was an avid watcher for one show, Noah's Arc. I was addicted. When it went off the air, l stopped watching.
    Who knows if Benny wasn't a huge fan as well. :cool:

    But l can appreciate you putting forth an argument as to why you think Benny Medina isn't a rapist-interrupted. Fair enough and respect, AB.
  10. hellified

    hellified Active Member

  11. Bliss

    Bliss Well-Known Member

    Who ARE you Hellified, because you're awesome! You get it!

    Describing Sexual Assault in a Language Men Can Understand
    Female victims' sexual assault stories often fail to resonate with men..

    Nov 21, 2017

    Imagine this scenario. A mid-level actress is ecstatic when she is invited to attend a party held at one of the most influential Hollywood talent agents in the world. She selects a flattering outfit, then goes to the party with her spouse. Once there, surrounded by a bevy of famous actors and actresses, she meets the agent for the first time. She sticks out her hand to shake his, and is shocked when instead of doing the same, he reaches out and grabs her crotch and squeezes. She jumps back, saying, “hey, hey,” but the man just licks his lips at her. She quickly escapes to another area of the room, but minutes later the agent is back, trying to grope her again. At this point, she forcefully pushes him away, sending him bumping into the other party attendees. But all the agent does is laugh. So she leaves the party with her spouse, and in the parking lot shares the details of the encounter. Anger and shame wash over her as she struggles with what she should do. Should she go back in and confront him? Should she report it to the police? In the end, she does neither.

    It seems like every day we are hearing another story like this one. Of a woman harassed or groped or sexually assaulted by a man in power. And when this happens, a barrage of questions for the victim usually follow. Why didn’t she report the incident to the police immediately? Why didn’t she confront him or physically push back in the moment? Did she invite the harassment because of the outfit she was wearing?

    Now reimagine this scenario, but instead of a woman, it is a 6 ft. 3 in. tall Black man weighing in at 240 pounds. Because that is what actually happened. The scenario above is exactly what occurred to Terry Crews, the former NFL player turned actor.

    In a recent interview on Good Morning America (see interview here), Crews details the incident, how it made him feel, and how he initially did not report it to the police.

    What makes this interview so powerful is that here is a big, buff, heterosexual man talking about an experience that few straight men have ever had (although most women have). And in his description, he details the anger and shame and fear he experienced in terms that most men can relate to.

    For example, he describes how “emasculated” he felt in that moment when the agent groped him. That simple act had completely stripped him of his male identity. In psychology, when women experience this it is called “objectification.” She no longer feels like a woman, no longer even feels like a human being. Instead she is made to feel as if she were just a sexual object, with no thoughts or feelings of her own.

    When asked why Crews didn’t just haul off and punch the agent, he describes the imbalance of power that made such an action impossible. Using the best metaphor I’ve heard to date for the abuse of power, Crews said,

    “Your dream, it's like a child…your dreams, goals, aspirations are just as valuable as your children. And someone binds up your dream and holds a gun to its head and is gonna kill it if you don’t do this, if you don’t stay quiet. It’s a hostage situation. You are dealing with a terrorist.”

    Because men hold more power in this country than women (be it socially, financially, or politically), men are less likely to fully comprehend how just having power exerts control over others. But when the assaulter holds power, it puts the victim in a position to where they can’t say no to the sexual advances, even though they desperately want to.

    When asked why he didn’t come forward and report the incident earlier, Crews says he didn’t think anyone would’ve believe him. Who would believe his word over this highly powerful titan? Further, he stated with another powerful metaphor, “When a person of power breaks that boundary, violates that boundary, you’re a prisoner of war. Immediately, you’re in a camp. Because you’re trying to figure out when is the right time to come out. When the guard turns their head? When they leave the door open? You’re digging tunnels with spoons and you’re trying to find a way out. And then you get out, and you finally find freedom [and speak out] and somebody says, ‘Well it must not be that bad. You should’ve come out sooner.’ And you’re like ‘I’m free! I finally got free!...This is the thing a lot of people don’t understand and they end up blaming the victim.”..


    ...Men, I believe, have a harder time putting themselves in the situation of the victim. That is why it is so important for men like Terry Crews to share their stories publically. Because he describes his experience in terms and analogies that resonate with men in a way that a woman’s description might not..."

  12. Bliss

    Bliss Well-Known Member

  13. Rochiebabes86

    Rochiebabes86 Active Member

    Did Gabby Douglas really tweet that to her teammate? Who was molested by her coach no less. Wow
  14. Bliss

    Bliss Well-Known Member

    Gabby has herself has dressed "provocative" so what is she babbling about?

    Not only that, Gabby said she too was sexually abused by Larry Nassar.
    Baffling she would ever make that statement.

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