Study says Millennials are living with parents in large numbers, would you do it?

I can get your reasoning.


Question:

How old is it time to look at them side eye for living with parents

 

I think if you're nearing 30 and still at home, that's a little odd to me. I totally get staying home and getting a leg up on finances but you can't stay home forever. I think at some point it becomes a crutch, enabling you from having to face the world on your own. Mommy and daddy can't protect you forever. To me one of the most important things I do for my kids is teaching them how to problem solve and think/act independently. I'm an incredibly open parent but I don't want them coming to me for all their answers. I want them to have thought about their issue, thought about solutions and THEN I'll offer my two cents to help them work through whatever they've got going on. I'll help them on their journey, always, but I won't steer the ship for them.

 

I think your view is a little myopic. I have a brother who is 30 living at home simply because the rent is insanely high out here. You can't even find a studio apartment for under 1200 in my area. So if you make less that 50k a year its nearly impossible to move out on your own. Ironically it's cheaper to own but that's if you can come up with the 20% down payment and pass the HOA/COOP financial stress test. The cost of living is insane depending on where you are in the country. I imagine San Diego is similar.

 

There are also many adults who may move back with their parents short term after divorce (with or without children) because they need the help.

 

Preaching to the choir about housing costs, it's definitely the same out here. My friend just moved to a new apt in a slummy part of SD, 490 sq ft studio smt119) for $1550. Absolutely unbelievable what people are paying. BUT, to me it's part of life. Sucks to pay as much as we do, but it's what adults do. Rent isn't going to get any cheaper so what's the long term game plan? Mom and Dad won't be around forever, that's my worry when seeing people that age living at home still. I've lived in SD my entire adult life, I've paid $3000/mo for over 8 years to have my kids in a nice area (it kills my mom that I dont buy...she's a real estate agent lol) but I suck it up because it's part of life. Hopefully your brother is taking advantage of this time by saving every penny he can for when the time comes that he's on his own. I'm sure there are tons of people doing the same thing with housing being as expensive as it is.

 

You're lucky enough to be in a profession where paying that kind of money is possible though. You can't use yourself as the litmus because that's how we end up with masses of homeless people. I think for most people they are just trying to make it day to day because everything is so stressful. It's hard to make a plan when it really seems impossible as you said it just keeps going up and pay isn't. For 3k a month you really should consider owning, at the very least you get to leave your kids something when you pass.
The whole thing is daunting, I am doing ok but my reality is shared by few at this point. I thank God I can make my payments and pray I stay financially ok until I pay the damn thing off.
Weird how none of the candidates talk about housing costs, its insane. The worst part is they construction never stops. I thought greater supply would reduce prices apparently not.

 

We totally need to buy, I know, life's just too busy to even start that process right now. We were heading out from our neighborhood the other day and saw signs advertising new developments "in the low 800s". So frustrating because all the housing being built now seems only for investment, not for actual family living. Building these huge communities that 90% of the population can't afford.

Maybe I'm not the standard, but that's why I mentioned my friends situation. She makes $11/hr and her fiancée doesn't make a whole lot more. Rent takes the bulk of their checks. I know many single parents working FT, still needing public assistance (welfare and food stamps) because salaries just aren't in line with the cost of living here. Definitely sad and we most certainly count our blessings DAILY.

 

I'm on the opposite end of this, my retired in-laws live with us for half of the year and my wife and I moved my 96 year old grandmother out from Chicago and put the down payment and co-signed for a house for her and my aunt and uncle(who look after grandma on a daily basis) to live in. Finances can be tough for everyone especially the young and the elderly. Looking after family can be challenging at times but my wife and I are grateful that we have the resources to do so, and it's a great daily real life example for our kids on how families look after each other.

 

Yep...I'm one of the few I know of who isn't helping an elderly relative right now. Many have the older relative and their teens/young adults.

 

Tell me about it, its down right wrong and priming for another downturn but hopefully when that does happen all those places will be going for cheap like in Detroit because it makes zero sense to put up places that no one is going to live in. Its insanely short sighted. I tell my girl I want out of NY in no more than 5 years. Life is about more than just paying some damn bills.

I see the same thing which is why I pass no judgements people are just trying to survive the best way they can. It's not just a bunch of people avoiding adulthood, its far more about not having the means to just leave like that. This is very similar to life before the government gave loans to veterans after WWII. Huge families under one roof. We are really spoiled.

 

Yes indeed, we have two teenagers as well as the older family members under one roof, it makes for a VERY busy household, but when things get challenging, we try to remind ourselves to be grateful and that one day we will be empty nesters.

 

Having the teens around grandparents is awesome.

 

Agreed. That was my saving grace in life.

 

For sure, agree 100% we are VERY lucky to have both sets of grandparents, one in the house and the other 5 minutes away, both married (happily) for 50 plus years, great role models for our kids in multiple ways and their example is just one of many reasons why my wife and I get along so well in our 20 plus years of marriage.

Not to say that there are no challenges with this living arrangement, privacy is a challenge(cant walk through the house naked, lol), people like the thermostat at different temps, different TV shows (the TV in the living room ALWAYS has a hockey game on when my father in law is with us) different food requests, ect.

But in the grand scheme of things, the positives far outweigh the small negatives.

 

To me multigenerational families in the home is a great way to build wealth along with the family bond as you are stating

 

Can you imagine if her parents were looking at you guys side in the morning and you are wondering why.

Her dad finally says "so I hear you guys are trying to give us another grand child. "

Loki responded "who said that"

The mother replies "we heard y'all working it out last night"

 

I did this when I got out of the military. I own some property and combined with my GI bill and being a disabled vet, I was able to increase/accomplish three things. 1. I increased my savings, 2. I increased my stake in the market 3. finish my degree while working part time in my field. It worked out rather well. I was 27 when I got out, now at 35, I couldn't imagine still being at home. But, I understand the reasoning behind it. I certainly have to thank my father for all of his support and years of wisdom. I don't judge people who have to do this to make sure everything is in line. I just know the focus required to accomplish my goals and a relationship would only hinder such things. I personally wouldn't date someone who still lived at home not out of judgement, but due to knowing how much work they have to do and how relationships can make you lose focus.

I know it is hard for many millenials having to pay for school and find work while simultaneously trying to save for a down payment on a house. I don't judge. Luckily, I made the choices that keep me debt free, in a position to make more than enough money to be comfortable and trade independently, while still being a productive member of society. I think those few years staying with my father helped me to lay the groundwork for my life today, and I am happy about that.

 

You trading future?

 

On the spectrum of future traders, I am a speculator.

 

Oh hell no!! I moved outta home when I was 18 to do bad on my own. Could never go backwards and be reliant upon anyone. Gotta feel like I'm contributing to my own household even if I did have to work three jobs to make ends meet.
Completely understand why others do it though. Theres nothing wrong with it if the dynamics work.