Lookism? Beauty Standards?

"maybe we can find some self confidence for you, you jack wagon!" ​

 

Soooo suspect. I don't get how everyone doesn't see it

 

Interesting reply, Bhayes. It is unfortunate that colorism (in general) is an issue within America. This affects almost any kind of interracial relationship in a negative light, because one person's skin complexion is going to be lighter than the other person's, and some people will see that as a form of self-hate (for both people) rather than a form of beauty and love. So I think the bigger issue here is not just with BM/WW couplings, it's more about Colorism and the concept of interracial dating, in general. That's just my opinion.

This quote pretty much explains it. If we date a girl (of any other race that's not black) we would be viewed as having self-hate for ourselves, which is false. Why limit yourself to one group of people you aren't attracted to. No one is bashing dark-skinned BW, they just aren't attracted to them. You are probably one yourself, hence the nature of your reply.

 

I think a number of us do see it. Even from day one, a number of people have seen it.

 

Yet people wanted to defend her and keep interacting with her/it smdh

 

It is noticed.

 

Naw, fierce would be. :::Shakes head while biting lip::: Mmm,mmm MHHHM!!! the things I would do to Petty's pectorals.

NO HOMO x1000!

 

oh shit, son

 

:smt043

 

You guys are so funny. Bhayes is not suspect for discussing his self-hatred, but how dare I ask him a question about this because that makes me a black woman. Never thinking that if I was black I would not have to ask questions about black self hatred...hmmm. I think you are more or less offended at Bhayes voicing this term "self-hatred" and using Michael Jackson as an example. Sometimes, talking about it helps and yes, I am curious. Sorry for asking. I had no idea it was such a touchy subject.:smt021
I'm out of it. I'll just view from the sidelines on this thread...not looking for a fight guys.:smt014

 

http://www.looksinfo.com/

http://www.gordonpatzer.com/

Lookism i see is an actual term. It is by definition : treating people in ways biased by their level of physical attractiveness; with benefits to individuals higher in physical attractiveness and detriments to individuals lower in physical attractiveness.

but i guess my issue is. I look foward to improving myself and i'm getting better. like i mentioned. I see that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What is looked at as ugly or average one place is loved, liked and appreciated somewhere else. i see that now.

but just like with Slavery in America. Years and years of programming and the negative affects of that programming, cannot be undone overnight. It takes time to learn how to love yourself when you go thru this.

Looking at foreign movies and seeing other cultures outside of African-American and american white has opened my mind a great deal. I'm greatful.

 

Good to hear, Bhayes. I wish for you to have better endeavors against those that don't like you.

 

IMO, that's BS. Why even bother with that silly game...What does it mean to 'love yourself'?
I see that like this whole 'problem' of god. Never a problem for people until their environment imposes this sort of hierachical thinking and then shyt goes to hell. We accept the question and then to be 'free' of it(free as society defines free) go though this whole drawn out process of logic/philosophy/intellectualism to justify whichever side of the coin our beliefs tend to fall on...
Why play that shyt? You 'see' that 'self-hate' is fucked up so decide you must 'love yourself'...then go through the steps to 'love yourself' thereby continuing this 'self-hate'. Kinda like that yin-yang shyt which is probably also some commercialized bs.
Of course I don't say this to mean you should be happy being a slob(not saying you are or that it's a problem if you are). Physical appearances do matter to most. You're not gonna go into a business meeting with your gym clothes on even though it has nothing to do with your actual performance. That's just one of the stupidities we have to live with if we are to survive within the general society. Don't need to get personal about it.
Anyways, blahgitty blah.
Best of luck. :toimonster:

 

Qua?

 

Qué?



Qué+what= Qua

 

http://www.looksinfo.com/

http://www.gordonpatzer.com/

here are some more links. All i can say is that i'm glad that atleast for a man, he has some options when faced with this issue. He can train real hard and benefit from being a person who has a nice physique and just WORK on himself as much as possible. A woman can do this as well but i feel women suffer because they have to deal with both ageism and extreme beauty pressure. its harder on them but it affects us men too.

It is true that culture plays a role in what is considered attractive, but lookism affects all of us on some level. I have even been guility of this.

in my case it was extreme lookism from an african-american point of view. But, I'm glad that people like the man above do research on this. Sometimes i wish i was an only child because i live in the shadow of my older sibling. It is not okay for me to not have my shoes un-shined but my older brother can be a complete slob and he gets no flak from anyone. WHy? because he as a son is a better trophy piece looks wise and he can pull the hot chicks. people respect him and treat him different. that's the way it is.

I was always put under alot of pressure to have a hot chick on my arm. And in order to be that guy who has the hot chick, i had to be the hot guy myself. And to make up for what i didn't have in looks, i supposed to have a backbone and have a "personality" which really means that i'm supposed to be an agressive extrovert with a crass sense of humor, which is what i call STREET humor. Eddie Murphy - Dave Chappelle - Chris Rocky style type of humor.

So within my family and within my peer group, the Derek Jeters and the LL Cool J's and the wannabe rapper actors are the stars and people like myself are doormats. Many times i was told "stop whining about being a doormat" "you have to make people respect you" "you have to make people respect your game"

so being that i could never really fulfill this standard both personality and looks wise, i learned to hate myself because no matter what i do, its not enough. But i accept the fact that while some of what has happened in my life, is not fair.

i know that there are other options. talking to the international ladies here, and just looking at foreign movies and just seeing how other culitures, i feel inspired.

 

Currently the second most viewed thread on WWBM is a picture thread. Enough said my brother.

 

Because I'm creepily viewing it multiple times when I'm on to see what everybody looks like 8)

You're telling him looks matter, but to focus on his good points, which is kind of contradictory. Yes, people are often judged on their looks, but sheer charisma wins every time in my experience. I do kind of agree to an extent though, I don't like how I look either, but sitting around crying about being ugly isn't going to get me anywhere in life(not suggesting you're crying about it/being unnecessarily emotional yourself, bhayes), while working on the things I can and being a likeable person gives people better impressions of me.

Honestly, I do think the more you care, the more other people care. If you're constantly pointing out your perceived flaws, people will notice them! Whereas if you're spending that time being charming and interesting, they won't notice it or if they do, their focus is shifted when you talk to them, etc.

((I know, I just contradicted myself too >.> ))

Bhayes, I'm actually thinking your problem isn't just insecurity/general perfection seeking though, you might want to look into Body dysmorphic disorder. Hope you manage to become comfortable with yourself :heart:

 

You can be charming all you want but if they don't want to have sex with you or don't want you kissing them, or don't want you to be considered their boyfriend/girlfriend then it will only do so much.

But you're right to an extent.