Interesting article from a Black man on dating White women

Interesting article, I could relate to a lot of what the author said...

http://gawker.com/the-reality-of-dating-white-women-when-youre-black-1585401039

 

Interesting and informative, a word that stood out and I think helped me clarify my attraction is deliberate, I and he did not set out to be attracted, it just happened naturally. Maybe that is the difference between genuine attraction and a fetish or just to upset others.

 

A bit self-hating if you ask me. Why doubt your own preferences? And why question other mens' motives for dating out (a.k.a. dick policing) when the end result is the same. Your female counterpart makes her preferences known loudly and makes no apologies. No short guys, no broke guys, no nerdy guys, no dark-skinned guys, must accept my kids, white guys to the front. On and on. Chick be 5'2" & 220 lbs yet wants a 6'5" NBA baller and nobody says shit. Yeah right. We black men need to shake off this matriarchal Stockholm Syndrome and just do us.

I was out with my white girlfriend at The Graham in East Williamsburg sometime last year and a black woman came up to me and asked me why was I dating a white girl when she can't even get a man.

Sounds like a personal problem to me.I don't see what that has to do with me as a black man and neither should it have concerned the blogger.

This partly comes across as homie apologizing for his preferences but that's just me

 

Interesting take on the article RC...

 

I read this article a little while ago, and just reread it now... Really interesting. Also, I notice that it echoes a number of things my boyfriend has expressed that he's experienced as a bm who has dated mainly ww in the past... This is sliiiightly off-topic but I've tried to search for an equally thoughtful and well-rounded article written from a ww's perspective on dating bm, but those google searches often result in titles like "Why Black Men Date White Women," and pseudo-racist shit written by (presumably) wm's on Reddit lol, and so on and so forth. It feels like, predominantly, most of the stuff posted online about WWBM IR relationships is posted by neither ww or bm - go figure :/

 

Thanks. I realize it's not a take on the entire article, but that's what jumped out at me. That apologetic tone. Serena Williams is not apologizing to her father or brother about her choice of mate, why should we?

 

Yup outside looking in situations.

 

even further than the apologetic tone....why the need to explain anything to anyone. This has really been on my nerves lately. There are all these things now about so many other groups gaining acceptance and tolerance and how they shouldn't have to answer or explain anything. Why should anyone have to be explaining their choices? The other people in the community aren't paying our bills or dealing with our lives. And it's NONE of their damn business.

 

I can just imagine the fallout from such an article.

 

Sounds like you have a job to do; write the article that you yourself would like to read

 

Ha, I barely have enough time to do normal stuff like eat and sleep these days, let alone write an article

 

Be the change you want to see in the world

 

The blogger was working through his guilt feelings in the article. You must understand that the matriarchal programming in many of us black men runs deep. Like it's his fault that black women don't appeal to him, rather than black women's fault that they're not appealing.

 

Very insightful, I had the same experience when I went a googling for positive articles on BM and WW couples. There are plenty of links for BW and WM couples but very little out there for BM and WW couples. Perhaps we need to organize, form a union of some sort, so we can combat all the negativity that is out there, lol.

 

I know why I like black men and I don't need to read why from other authors.

 

A

 

That is the problem, we have no union at least strong enough of an representation. Meanwhile other taboo relationships do, like the gay community and BW and WM couples. Their a few twitter accounts dedicated to it, but at times they get a little porny, lol. We probably need support and a strong community the most because obviously this coupling STILL is uncomfortable to a lot of people. People have taken the movie GET OUT completely out of context and uses it to express their bigotry against black men and white women dating. I though when I first came here on this site, that it was something of a community like that, but learned it wasn't. Maybe WE can be, if people are really dedicated. Maybe start to expand and set up a social media page, ect. There are some VERY strong and smart people here that can make that happen. But I think the whitewomenblackmen.com community is comfortable staying under the radar.

 

That's not it. Too many outside looking in voices have dominated this site for so long that the focus & community bond that could be had among people here doesn't exist. People care more about "debating" with /one upping individuals who have views and opinions that don't line up with their own more than any common ground they should have if they are actually about positive IR relationships & support.

 

One dude here could argue paint off the walls

 

You know though....just yesterday I hosted a little event. I've had this issue about that there weren't many families of color in the homeschooling community (well not participating in things together...they are out there all isolated) So I decided to do the mom thing and get a couple of moms talking and hosted a little thing to go see some horses yesterday. Over 60 people showed up. I was telling my youngest...see this is what mom's do. We want something to happen and we make it happen. We may go about it in a more quieter, creative, even unusual way, but it works. The common conversation was that they were feeling like they were always "the only one" when they tried to join in on things. Now they aren't.

I did the same thing with a lil group in our neighborhood. It's building momentum - in just a few weeks. There was already a group but they weren't doing much. Now other organizations are taking a look and coming to us asking us what we want to do. But you know....we're just some mom's homeschooling our kids.