Golddigger?

Okay Chigirl,
I understand where you are coming from and I have to say I think along many of those same lines.

As a side note - people are sometimes surprised when I tell them that in every relationship I believe there should be 3 bank accounts…
Yours, mine and ours.
Some people just don’t believe in treating money like business when love is involved but if money is the cause of many failed relationships [in the good old U.S. of A. anyway] it seems to me that managing money would not only eliminate that demon but it would help to weed out those pesky gold diggers.

And yes!
There is a large pool of male gold diggers!!!!! [In the good old U.S. of A. anyway :lol: ]

Question for you [anyone actually]:

You see two people.
One well dressed.
One not so well dressed – Shabby looking but clean.

Who will you go to first?
:?: 8)

 

Silver I think you are correct... taking money from someone you are not really close with does feel dirty to me and I am to proud to do it. Never thought about it in relation to prostitution but yeap I agree.
It may also be the role models I had in my life. My mom raised my brother and I alone, working hard her entire life so to me I never saw a man taking financially care of her she did her own thing and did it very well (I am tremendously proud of her by the way )

Designer you might be surprised but I will say I so agree with your opinion about having 3 bank accounts. Whenever I will get married or have a live in boyfriend I want to do whatever I can to avoid the possibility of arguing about money and I think separate accounts is the way to go.

Now to answer your question about the well dressed versus not so well dressed.
On a superficial level I would be attracted to a man in a nice business suit (my weakness). So if the choice is business suit versus a track suits with holes in it- Business suit wins.

But let's say my choice is a flashy guy, dressed in expensive name brand jeans, a Versace shirt, maybe a Louis Vuitton wallet or sunglasses or so, all in all very clean and well put together but flashy versus a guy in regular washed out jeans and a polo shirt. I will go for the guy in the polo shirt.

Now this doesn't say anything about the personality of the guys, I know that, just being honest.

 

:roll: Emmm...

What about a short, muscular, shaven-bald, heavily-tattooed, acne-faced, bushy-bearded, gap-toothed, oversized-shirt wearing, pissed-off looking, moody Nigerian? :shock:

I forgot to add: Broke too (more often than not). :lol:

 

lol - Personally, I would say it depends on how big the gap is. :wink: :lol:

 

Not too big.
:twisted: No missing teeth too.


Sorry for the hijack! :smt108

 

Aaaah Lucifer... you admire my hips and I will admire your gap

 

Oh man, I love a guy with all his teeth!!! Plus you're moody? How will I ever concentrate this afternoon? I would take you home right now and do unspeakable things to you, unfortunately I have decided to commit to Chicityfinest b/c he is loaded... *lol* (someone is not going to realize that is a joke and I am going to get blasted!!)

Chigirl - this is not the first time I've read about your hips, what do you have goin' on girl?

 

What about MY hips? :wink:

 

LMAO FnnySmrt this is too funny.

 

Lawyer lady, I don't think I could handle you...I'm too old! Got 12 gray hairs in my bushy beard. :shock: Must...fight...the...years.

 

I don't know I haven't seen them yet :cry:

 

Good point.
:lol:

 

@Lucifer - Hmmm, I am the ripe ol' age of 35, but looks like we'll just have to remain friends! Besides, I would never want to come b/t your gap and chigirl's hips! :wink:

 

35 = Exploding with sexual energy. :shock: At 31 (in september), I could never match such a...hunger. :roll:

But I'm sure your man can and will. It's inevitable. :twisted:


As for Chigirl's hips, well...seeing how supple and curvaceous they are...I may have to sew my mouth shut so the drooling stops. :lol:

 

I don't have any real experience with gold diggers because I've lived a low profile super basic lifestyle. Clubbing and fine dining bores me. I'm not into name brand and designer shit so I wear the same basic dark colored clothes nearly everyday. I rock my shoes until they are talking to me. I used public transportation nearly my whole life which was 27 years and my first car was basic as fuck where high fuel efficiency and a low car payment took precedent over everything else. I never act like "the man" or fronted on my job titles.




My experience with potential gold diggers has always came thru with their perception of me. A couple years ago when I was working as a military contractor, I always rocked suits because our dressed code called for slacks, dress shirts and ties. I looked damn good in a suit so I would use photos of myself in a suit on dating websites and apps which a lot of females found attractive.

More than a few females would ask me right away what did I do for a living. Women would quickly figure out I didn't make much money by my answer and lose interest even quicker. It became really irritating to the point where I would start ignoring females all together if I felt that question was asked too soon.




This one chick in particular I actually met outside of a club one night. She scooped me up and we hung out with her 2 friends after the club at eat n park. At the time I was a public attendant aka housekeeper at a hotel and was honest with her. She was a newly minted registered nurse and started going on and on about all the shit she went thru to become one, how she's making all this money now and how no man will ever hold her back.



She dropped me off talking about "I'm cool" and we'll hang out again. I hit her up the next day she never replied and knew what was up. She reached out to me many months later on Plenty of Fish "MUSCLES!!! You all dressed up! what's up, how you been!?" I just replied back "clearly better than you" and that was that.


It happened to me in person as well.




The funny thing about that job, I only made about $10 or $11.... Even dudes assumed I made guap....


I gave online dating a try a couple months ago and did notice a big difference. I look virtually the same but I don't post the suit pics. Women did not reach out to me as much.



It's all good tho, my basic lifestyle definitely seperates the women who are really into me for me and not. At my new job I work with a lot of guys who financially ruin and stress themselves trying to impress and cater to women.

 

It seems that I just don't attract the golddiggers (thankfully), but I have had a couple come along over the years.

I can remember one girl I met saying... "I['m used to men giving me money. How much are you going to give me?" I smiled and politely said something like.... "I don't operate that way".

I've had debates with women at work about this many times.

I will say... They're dudes doing this too. I know a guy who's a total screwup, and always talking about geiitng money from people. He recently met a really nice young lady online who is a physician, and he's salivating at the fact that her salary has to be well into 6 figures. I just shake my head in disgust, and I hope she doesn't fall for his crap.

 

Aww I miss chi and fny...they were so much fun!

I'm surprised I hadn't posted on this thread before.

I've said it many times, usually the people who are worried about gold diggers don't have enough gold to be digging. What they are talking about is not really gold diggers. Gold diggers and those who they are involved with both know what they are doing and what their roles are. No one is being taken advantage of, it's an arrangement, a business deal really.

There are others out there trying to take from others, get whatever they can, etc. That's different. That's manipulative and covert. Still, some could argue that both people are making the choices along the way to enter into and keep it going.

Everything is a give and take, and has costs and benefits in life.

What I always find interesting is these conversation where usually things come up because women often look for men who are established, financially secure, etc. Men try to act like they don't look for the same in women, but that's changed (and even if they don't, there are other qualifiers they have).

Maybe it's my age, but I find that often times these concerns come from those who have insecurities about where they are in life. I have found that usually those who are secure with where they are, aren't so concerned about such things. They are able to spot those who are operating at a surface level looking for whatever they can get in the moment, and walk past them.

Everyone has their standards in every area of life. I used to have specific things about only dating men who owned their home(s) in a nice area, had a certain level of career and so forth. It wasn't based on materialism, it was based on that's where I was in life and I felt it was best to look for someone who was more similar than different to avoid unnecessary stress. At that point, I had basically bought into conventional wisdom and thought this was a way of preventing potential issues.

But, would that description put me into a "gold-digger" category back then? Who knows, I don't really care.

Reality taught me all sorts of life lessons about that and I firmly believe that if someone is really IT for you, none of that shit matters. I'm not talking about all the fairytale ladeda stuff.....I mean really IT. Suddenly, the type of home, or if they even have one doesn't matter, etc. I think often times we focus on the details and specifics and analyze it to death, set up all sorts of rules and parameters to try to prevent getting hurt or dealing with issues.

 

True!

Back in my young days... we used to refer to them as money hawks. They were the girl in school and on the block who wouldn't be with you unless you were constantly buying them stuff/giving them money.

While I think I do OK, I'm far from loaded or even semi loaded, but I think they're gold diggers seeeking the wealthy as well as us down in working class and professionals.

I think there's nothing wrong with seeking mates who are bringing something to the table, especially once you're beyond the twentysomething years. In fact, I think it's a good thing.

When I was driving around in my Honda Civic with the manual transmission... I got plenty of kudos for being practical, while I know some were thinking along the lines of... "He can't thinking about approaching me if that's his ride." It is what it is, and doesn't bother me. Actually, it sorta humors me a bit.

Unlike North in his suits... I missed some of that action being I/T and almost always dressed down (jeans) and sometimes khakis and polo shirt. Usually what would happen is that I would get approached by some at the job as they knew what I did for a living, and probably figured I was doing OK.

 

Only dudes who should really complain about gold diggers are the ones who are looking for a genuine relationship.

A lot of the men who gold diggers go after are the type who just wanna fuck them anyways. Look at all these athletes and musicians with multiple children by multiple different strippers and IG models.

 

Lol