An interesting/odd conversation came up a bit ago. With the holidays coming up I thought it might be something to post. When you give a gift what do you want or expect in return? What conditions do you place on gift giving? What about when receiving a gift? What prompted the conversation was someone asking me for some input about a gift he wanted to give his daughter. He had bought some art work and wanted to give her a piece of art. She wasn't interested, didn't like it or whatever. She told him "it doesn't go well in my home". He was really hurt over the whole thing and wanted my input. He thought she should have taken it anyway since it was from him, even if she put it in the closet. He felt like it is worth something (monetarily as well as sentimentally - sentimentally because he was giving it to her and had chosen it). But truthfully, part of this whole thing is that his house is filled with all sorts of art he's purchased and he keeps buying more and has no more room left, so he decided to give her something. This continued into a discussion of if he expected people to keep every think he ever gave them, etc.
Get in the habit of asking what people like and the style and colors of what people like. You have to communicate to get good presents. It sounds like she never wanted all of the artwork byt decided to be nice and just take it. She probably should communicate the things she wants. He should also ask her.
When I give a gift, I expect absolutely nothing in return. You either like it or you don't. I'm not fond of accepting gifts, I feel people subconsciously hold it against you. I usually decline it at first but only accept if they insist.
^^that sounds like me , I get people things so they "owe" me one. In going to lunch I ask 2/3 coworkers if they want lunch as well, so when the day I'm broke I can be like "hey let's go get lunch,it's on you this time since I got it last time":smt112 but presents I prefer nobody get me anything because I don't want to get anyone anything since people are unappreciative and probably going to return, regift or sell on Craigslist lol
I guess I didn't finish the post lol If I give something to someone as a gift, I don't expect anything. I do hope they like it, but I don't take it personally if they don't. I'm not going to go to their house and look to see where it is. I'm not going to be upset if they give it to someone else, sell it, or whatever else they may do with it. When I get a gift for someone it's because I wanted to give it to them, period. This probably partly comes from growing up in a family that put all sorts of strings and conditions on "gifts". I don't consider that a gift. I also don't do that whole keeping track thing that some people do. Where they are always talking about how they gave this person x,y,z and they only give them back a, b, c. Or, they always giving and the other isn't giving back. THEN DON'T DO IT! I used to have a very difficult time receiving gifts. I was really uncomfortable and would even wonder what it meant and what was expected (again due to how I grew up). I've gotten much better about receiving gifts. That may be partly because my life isn't such that there are lots of gifts offered. Usually any gift would be from someone I know well. It's thoughtful and there is no ulterior motive. Which is a wonderful thing!! I really appreciate the gifts that are given. However, I don't feel burdened by it. I'm not going to keep something up on display I don't care for, or bring it out when they come by or any of that either.
