Family Dinner and hidden shame

My friend told me one day when "you're an educated, well to do Black Man everybody hates you". Well not everyone but, you will get hate from a lot of people for simply being you.

When you're young, you're teased by other black guys for "acting white" studying, reading books, thinking about different things other than being a hoodrat and getting into shit, also...fighting being a fake bravado thug nigga. I personally went through that. I was introverted as a young'n and stayed to myself and didn't hang out much.

The black girls though cute with nice bodies don't want nothing to do with you....or at least in public lol. They want the neighborhood thug, high school jock though he will later diss her for a non black woman lol, or the pretty boy who has multiple girls. Even then they tease you or friend zone you.

So then you become an adult, graduate college and get a great career. You have other options on who you can date now. If you move to another city, you start to make friends with like minded people who are nothing like who you grew up with. Some of those non black people may make inappropriate jokes about you being black or expect you to be a stereotype from all of the music vids or shows they watch. Even ask if you seen something on Worldstar, ask you to dance for them.

You try to date them sophisticated, college educated black women but are met with they're high maintenance attitudes, baggage from old relationships, maybe you don't have the car they need you to drive thing, and the sex ain't all that great. Probably feels like a compromise.

Because you're doing better you are expected to do something for the community. Expected to be the clean up man, and take on the role of being a positive role model or raising someone else's kids. If you just wanna enjoy you're life cuz you worked hard to get to where you are...you are called a coon, Sell out, or just plain selfish.

Then bw women degrade you even family for dating other women even if she's a good woman who you are attracted to. Some of those other women will want again some stereotype, but choose wisely.

At your job you may experience some racist bullshit cuz you may be the only black man there. Even if you are very qualified, there's haters lurking in the trenches.

I'd say fuck em all and live your life because you only have 1. Die knowing you had a great time living it on your terms with folks who care about you. Sorry for the long read.

 

There's absolutely no reaso nb you should feel like a fraud. You're not under any obligation to date anyone, regardless of race or skin colour or whatever. I think you did the right thing in not rising to the bait. Some discussions just aren't worth having. Discretion is often the better part of valour.
As has been said before, I'm sure if you find a white girl who you truly love & who loves you equally in return, your family will respect that, just as you respect their views although different from your own. Ultimately your family just want you to be happy.
Don't forget with your grandmother there's a whole generational thing going on too. Things were very different when she was your age.
If it really bothers you, then you could always take her aside and talk to her 1:1 about it at a suitable moment.

 

BW are

Truth be told....BW are offended by the very sight of a strong intelligent BM.
Brothers like that are seen as competition.

Let her in your life and she'll do all she can to make you less than.

 

A lot of people are threaten by a strong intelligent BM. It's funny how some of these women(of all races) talk about how sick and tired they are of these rich powerful white men, yet still have more respect and see them as more of an inspiration than black men of the same.

 

Come on that's totally not true not even a little.

 

Says the guy that thinks there wouldn't be a civil rights movement without the FBI.

 

There wouldn't have been. Who else would have held racists accountable for burning churches with kids in them.

 

hahahahahahaha

So ironic that you'd say that with Dr King in your avi.
They have their hands in damn near every assassination of our leaders.

You can't find worse racists than the FBI.

They said the KKK infitrated the police departments....but did NOTHING about it.

 

Definitely has truth to it. In the corporate world bw are partial to gay bm just like white men are.

I was smart enough not to find out if the rest is true.

 

Weird

 

Weird best describes women that put their girls before their boys....no other race does it.

Hell

Even female monkeys put their males first.

 

@flaminghetero @The Dark King @Beasty

Remember or ever heard of that website dontdatehimgirl.com?

It mostly featured black men they were "exposing" for women not to date and some of them just put guys that dated white women on there, because you can post anonymously. It caused an uproar when they were posting guys on there without any proof of such and was getting sued.

 

I should "expose" myself on there. Sounds heaven sent.

 

They should put that energy in raising their kids and improving themselves.

 

There's nothing wrong with them. They're perfect. It's BM who need to "step up"

 

Real talk.

BM have to improve...sisters are good to go.

LOL

 

where's the eye roll smilie?

 

Thanks hon!

 

Can honestly say I've never had that experience although I know others have....