Does or how often does this happen?

Ok, this is just a general thing so I will probably get the usual responses. I'm a single guy so it could be because of this also.

You're in a restaurant or a bar and a group of decent looking to good looking black women sit next to you. Why does everyone put you on the spot? People look at me like hey man take care of that. However if a group of non black women sit by me who are attractive they don't say that nor do they consider I may want to meet them lol.

My mother always wants to introduce me to some girl. My friends do too. The girls are pretty, but don't have the balls to be like man I want that cute white girl right next to her.

Guess I'm saying I feel that the world wants me with a black woman. I understand cuz as a black man it's natural for us to be seen together. When I chill with bw and go on dates, we connect socially but I feel this void.

But I always, always get man I got this woman (bw) for you to meet. Almost like I can't be attracted to anything else. This a long rant, but anyone male or female feel free to comment or share your opinion.

 

Maybe your friends/mother are just assuming you are only attracted to bw?

If you express your interest in other women (e.g. ww) they may be more diverse when suggesting potential dates.

Nowadays, people date all races and genders so I don't see a problem for simply mentioning you may be more attracted to the ww sitting next to the bw

 

I know this one. If there is a single Italian man anywhere on the planet it seems I need to hear about him. Usually then followed by some odd comment about how he might be "understanding".

Now something happened the other day and I almost fell off my chair though. I was out to lunch with my son and his friend and a nice looking black man walked by with his little girls and my son was giving me the "hey mom check him out" thing. I said excuse me? and he said well I thought he looked like he had it together and maybe you should introduce yourself. LOL

 

They want you together with a black woman and since you don't say anything specific about wanting to date other races as well, they won't suggest it.

 

I think it breaks down to that there is this thought of some sort of obligation you have to take care of any single black woman around.

I do think it helps to let people know if you are more interested in other women. You might get some shit for it, but you also might be more likely to get set up with someone you would be interested in. I know with my best friend everyone is always trying to get her with someone. Some people think they are helping....they just want you to be happy.....or maybe it's just they want you to be as miserable as they are!

 

Yep, in my experience you have to make your preference for people of another race known, otherwise the default is that you want someone of your own race. After my divorce my girlfriends would set me up with guys all the time. I finally had to just tell them, no offense, but please, no more white guys lol

 

Never...

I always had people looking out for me whether a female was white, black, or whatever who showed some interest. Honestly I hate that, stop paying attention to me and let me move in the shadows.

 

This is a really interesting topic, one l don't think has ever been covered in a thread here.
I think it's so sweet that you secretly want the White women, but also sad you feel you can't always express that.
Mum's are always going to seek out women like her, whether it's appearances or personality, so that's normal.

Like others have said, start expressing your desires more clearly and be prepared for some pushback or surprise if you haven't let on that you like White women along with Black women.

 

This is so funny. Your son is looking out lol.

 

Yea I figured this much, just have to be upfront with my feelings. Thanks.

 

Lmao

 

Sounds like you have great people around you, or you have made your intentions clear.

 

Yes definitely. I feel like I owe myself that. Everyone probably assumes that I like the usual. Though I will get the "you brothas always checking for the white girl" talk I think times have mostly changed, and if you can't live your life how you want now, when are you going to. Thanks.

 

Yes, I agree with you. That does seem to be the case, and of course if you're not talking to them... It's like... "Man, you better get on that". When I had separated it seems that everyone had someone for me to meet, and I'd politely decline. Once my divorce was final... OMG, they ramped up the effort. One of the regualrs at my Sunday Football watching spot was determinded that she needed to get me with one of her friends.

 

How did they react to you wanting to date other types of women?

 

The guys were basically like... "It's all good, do your thing". A couple of the women gave disapproving looks, but they're entitled to their opinion. I still think it was because I'm interested in IR dating, but one was all up in her feelings as if I had offended her because I wasn't interested in being fixed up with her friends.

 

The worst one can do is becoming more than a friend of a friend. It just destroys everything if it doesn't work.