The single mother & new boyfriend/husband dilemma

Not very long ago, I was perusing the thread here:

http://www.whitewomenblackmen.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13839

And it got me to thinking (once again, after several months prior) about numerous relationship & family occurrences that have ended in fatal disaster for the *most innocent and defenseless party* of them all...

The apparently unabating surge of single/divorced/widowed moms that seemingly opt for insistently pursuing relationships with fellas that have not even a veiled interest in the young ones from said females' prior relationship....






Here is one recent tragic result of such relationship....

http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/05/14/Utah.murder.charges/


Morevover, the mother in this 2nd marriage opted to sit back and do *nothing*....but *watch*....as this....truly horrific crime took place before her..


For some reason, I can't help but think that....for the most part....these deplorably poor choices in 2nd spouses/mates...stems from the belief on the part of the female...that "Not many - if any - fellas out there that would be interested in me with this 'extra baggage'...and I'd much rather have this bloke in my life..than to have no-one ot all, I guess..."


And, m8's it *did* hit VERY close to home for Yours Truly, as well.....


http://www.9news.com/news/article.aspx?storyid=18402

They were both co-workers at the studio (where I was working) who met and dated...after she & her original lover (the father of her child) split & he left town..

The real BITCH of the matter....*is*....that dirty sonofabitch murderer was my studio m8...sitting at the animation table right next to me!! And we got along rather well...cordially....

Then, one day, when both he and the mother were off-duty there, we got the report about....THAT....




The question still stands:

What goes on in their minds? Both the man and woman in such relationships?




Note to the Sloop woman involved in this recent travesty (And ALL OTHERS just like her):

You disturb me. I'm not kidding. Why are you seemingly so fixated on pursuing relationships like this?



















OpinionsCartoonStudios@Yahoo.Co.UK

 

I have often wondered the same thing. My first priority as a single mom is her safety and her emotional, physical, spiritual and mental well-being. I will never, ever expose her to a man that would not or could not be a supportive loving step-parent to her.

It boggles my mind when I read stories of poor innocent children who are killed or otherwise injured by a parent's boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife.

For instance: Jennifer Hudson's sister - married a man who went to jail for attempted murder. Why would you expose your child to someone like that? And what happened? Her child is gone forever.

It's so sad.

The media seems to propagate the idea that single moms have too much baggage and should just accept any man who will take her and her kids. When I was on a dating site, I had an a-hole try to tell me that I should be happy that he wants to take me out on a date because I have a kid. Needless to say, he never got that date.

I would rather remain single then ever expose my daughter to someone who doesn't want her around. Like I've always said, he could treat me like a queen, but if he doesn't treat my daughter the same way, he's gone.

 

your daughter is very lucky that you feel this way:smt045

 

mr cartoon...i honestly cannot tell you why some women do this as it's just not something i would ever do, and i'm in complete agreeance with joanie. my priority as a single mum is to put my children first in all instances...to me that is what being a parent is about. once you have children it is no longer a 'me' show it's a 'them' show...and god help any person who dare lay a finger on either one of my children.

i would rather die fat and alone, and be found 3 weeks later half-eaten by Alsatians (a la bridget jones) than to settle for a relationship with someone who could potentially be harmful to my children.

 

You are a good mother Bookie, women like that are not. Not everyone makes a good parent, it's a sad fact of life. I don't honestly think it has anything to do with settling for someone because you think you're less desirable because you have children. They're selfish and their number one concern is themselves, pure and simple narcissism IMO.

Any decent mother is not going to put up with someone who abuses her children, nor is she going to date someone who considers them 'baggage'. First bastard that refers to one of mine as 'baggage' is going to get his ass kicked right out the door, and God help anyone who ever tries to hurt one of them. I think that's a normal maternal/paternal response, you keep your children safe no matter what it takes or what you have to give up to do so. People that don't do that are missing that instinct, or they choose to ignore it.

I've heard it said often that people like that just didn't have a good role model growing up, that they never learned how to be a good parent. That's horseshit, I come from a long line of narcissists and I managed not to become one. People like that are selfish and weak. They do what's easy and what feels good for them. There is no excuse for that. People need to stop making excuses for them and just tell them they are sorry ass parents and they need to straighten the hell up.