| By Sabbadoo32 (12.2.19.162) on Thursday, August 30, 2001 - 06:26 pm: |
Dissection. Anaylsis. S-uh-wweeeeet.
Yes you are correct in that it is time for him to decide who to follow. Hopefully my having to write a response yesterday in 2 minutes or less conveyed that.
But it sucks to lose friends, and from what he has revealed it seems reasonable that they had a good relationship until now. Of the friends I have lost for various reasons, I miss some things about them and I am glad to do without other traits they had. It's the process of doing it that is a pain in the ass.
Past "Schwartzeneegar" character, eh? Dare I say "superhero?"
| By Spade (64.94.3.242) on Thursday, August 30, 2001 - 12:33 am: |
Sabbadoo32, Sometimes character is built one challenge at a time.
Quote:
Quote:He may not be the "Schwartzenneger" of character as you must be, but it seems he is moving in that direction.
Quote:Evidently he has no one "live" to counsel him,
Quote:so instead of further jeapordizing what must be a good relationship with his friends (up to this point) by taking off on his own, he is asking for advice on how to proceed.
Quote:This in itself is a sign of character. The rest remains to be seen.
| By Sabbadoo32 (12.2.19.162) on Wednesday, August 29, 2001 - 01:03 pm: |
Spade,
Sometimes character is built one challenge at a time. He may not be the "Schwartzenneger" of character as you must be, but it seems he is moving in that direction.
Evidently he has no one "live" to counsel him, so instead of further jeapordizing what must be a good relationship with his friends (up to this point) by taking off on his own, he is asking for advice on how to proceed. This in itself is a sign of character. The rest remains to be seen.
SWJ
| By Sabbadoo32 (12.2.19.162) on Wednesday, August 29, 2001 - 12:45 pm: |
Mack,
If someone told you of a similar situation about someone else, or a BW whose friends were pressuring her not to date another BM for whatever reason, you would have come up with the same responses that we have to your situation. If you continue to be attracted to white women, you will soon learn who in your social circle are your true friends.
In the meantime, whose favor do you really prefer? This is when you are straight with yourself....
SWJ
| By Spade (205.179.66.130) on Monday, August 27, 2001 - 07:11 pm: |
Ishvara: "I'd also like to add, that the people you surround yourself with are a reflection of you to a certain extent, maybe you should care more about what their attitude says about you."
Quote:
My sentiments exactly. The people one surrounds himself or herself by are indeed a reflection of their character. The friends Mack has chosen to surround himself by gives me the impression of very weak character on his part. [Which incidentally doesn't surprise me since it seems to be the mindset of many men these days as opposed to what I have seen and observed with most women, though the door most certainly swings both ways.] As the comments of Melirosa and Ishvara have pointed out if Mack isn't committed in his resolve to face and conquer the simple opposition of his own friends then he isn't ready for any serious relationship with white women regardless of how "extremely" attracted he claims he is to them.
What woman needs a man/chump that will change their entire relationship at the whim of his so called friends or buddies? If you can't take the heat get out the kitchen AND STAY OUT! Its all or nothing!
| By Melirosa (208.48.12.181) on Monday, August 27, 2001 - 12:12 pm: |
Mack,
i have to agree with Ishvara and spade. if you are as attracted to white women as you say you are, why would you even care about what your friends think? if you are looking for a white women as a potential mate, you need to rearrange your priorities and decide what is more important to you. IR relationships are difficult enough due to pressure from society and total strangers. if you can't stand the pressure friends are handing to you, then, like ishvara suggested, stay FAR away from any and all white women. it takes someone who is completely dedicated to the person they love to withstand the pressures that are sometimes placed upon us by being in an IR. if you are going to be worried about what people think, this is never going to work for you, i can guarantee you that.
| By Ishvara (208.37.108.126) on Saturday, August 25, 2001 - 11:19 am: |
I just need to say that being in this kind of relationship is not easy. The fact that your friends' opinion matters so much to you and already you're worried about the repercussions from your extreme attraction, then do everyone a favor and stay far away from any ww, you'd never be able to stand the pressure from everyone else, nevermind your friends. I'd also like to add, that the people you surround yourself with are a reflection of you to a certain extent, maybe you should care more about what their attitude says about you.
| By Spade (209.221.197.10) on Friday, August 24, 2001 - 08:06 pm: |
No i would not be any less attracted Spade, but i do want their understanding. Whether i get it or not is not going to change the way i feel.
Quote:
If that is truly the case then why care to get your friends understanding in the first place? This is just my point of view but it seems to me that if your friends were actually friends in every sense of the word (See Proverbs 18:24) then your attraction for different types of women (Which is all it is, an attraction for different types of women that share certain qualities and etc you like.) would not be a problem. Hence you would not need to get their understanding in such issues like this because it would come naturally. The fact that it doesn't says something very interesting.
There is really not much you can do or say to get them to understand. That is an obstacle for them to overcome at their own due time and discretion OR NOT. In the meantime you shouldn't really care. Why? Because anytime you have to go out of your way, even mildly, to get your so called friends to understand why you are attracted to different types of women (in this case white women) you are giving them more power then they should have. You said in your first post that there was a major problem with your attraction to white women and your friends who are totally opposite, which gives me the impression that you care a great deal about what they think which, in this instance, you shouldn't. You said"...they don't seem to understand and I fear that my friends won't be around much longer." With this type of mindset I wonder if you actually did get involved with the kind of women you are so extremely attracted to how long you would be able to stay in the relationship due to prior pressure and influence. You fear that your "friends won't be around much longer" because they have a problem with your attraction with white women? And this is causing "ALOT" of friction? Um...and why are you still with these friends?
| By Mack (32.97.110.67) on Friday, August 24, 2001 - 02:39 pm: |
No i would be any less attracted Spade, but i do want their understanding. Whether i get it or not is not going to change the way i feel.
| By Spade (204.176.122.1) on Thursday, August 23, 2001 - 11:22 pm: |
Mack,
The better question to me is why would you want your friends to be around if they are not going to be true "friends" and except you with your preference (especially since your preference to white women is one of the more superflous issues)? If your attraction to white women is as extreme as you say would you be any less attracted to white woman because of your friends?
| By Mack (198.133.22.75) on Thursday, August 23, 2001 - 10:14 am: |
I have a major problem, I am extremely attracted to WW every time I go out with my friends I am always looking at white women. They are the total opposite and it is causing ALOT of friction they don't seem to understand and I fear that my friends won't be around much longer.