what you've heard about dr. laura is correct. she is a conservative hypocrite!

of course, these are my opinions, your mileage will vary.

By Svorhies (208.48.12.163) on Friday, May 11, 2001 - 06:13 pm:

Kansascity,
I seems like all I do is eat and sleep. LOL I don't mind, if that is what I have to do to have a healthy baby, so be it.
As for the doctor Laura show. I have not ever watched it or listened to it, if fact I have heard nothing but bad things about the show. At the company where I used to work out customers would call in all the time and tell us that if we didn't move our advertising slot off the Dr. Laura show, they were going to take the business to another company.
I guess I will just have to check her out and make my own decisions. Take care!!

By Kansascity (209.242.125.16) on Thursday, May 10, 2001 - 01:47 am:

Svorhies:

Check out Dr. Laura web site. You will find allot of support for MOTHERING/Parenting there. Also, she has links to sites for businesses that can be run from home. You might tap this resource just for future options. Doctor Laura is definitely on the side of fathers, mothers, and their children. Have you ever listened to her talk radio show. I do not always agree with her advice, but for the most part she is very good at what she does. She has some books out too. Take care. Eat well and get plenty of rest.

By Roberto (152.163.195.191) on Wednesday, May 9, 2001 - 05:33 pm:

Svorhies:

May God bless you with a healthy child, one who will give you many years of happiness ahead. ~ Roberto

By Svorhies (208.48.12.163) on Monday, May 7, 2001 - 02:42 pm:

Roberto,
Thank you very much for the nice words. It is good to know that some people understand and agree with my decision. It was not really even a decision, because FOR ME abortion is just not an option.
I went on the 4th for my first ultrasound and it was the most fascinating thing in the world to see!! I can't wait for the day that I can feel my baby moving inside me. This whole process is a miracle to me. Sorry to babble, I am just excited!

By Roberto (205.188.192.156) on Thursday, May 3, 2001 - 07:00 pm:

Svorhies:

"The world cannot be as perfect as our dreams".

I respect that and the fact that you are giving life to that child and not ending its life through an abortion. I respect you more now than ever. ~ Roberto

By Svorhies (208.48.12.163) on Thursday, May 3, 2001 - 04:39 pm:

Anon,
I also believe that idealistically children should be raised in a two parent home. If things were the way I would have chosen, I would have a husband to go along with a child. I did not intentionally get pregnant, however I also believe that god can bless someone who is not married with a child. I know that things are going to be very difficult for me, however I feel that this child was meant to be.
There are some children that are born into a two parent household where later one of the parents leave, which I feel is even more detrimental to the child in the long run. I am from a divorced family and I know that pain and heartache that goes along with that. I have friends that have never know there father and so there for they don't miss what they don't know. And they grown up just fine! The world can not be as perfect as our dreams.

By Anon2000 (207.218.73.139) on Tuesday, May 1, 2001 - 09:41 pm:

well, i've been on both sides of the fence, married mom and single mom. however, all were born in a marriage; i couldn't have had it any other way. being a single mother is hard enough when you don't plan on it, but to intentionally put yourself in that situation would be madness TO ME. i do believe that GOD planned for children to be raised by two people (a man and a woman). a lot of men state that they don't want a ready-made family either.

i wish you the best of luck, svorhies - you'll need it!

By Svorhies (208.48.12.163) on Tuesday, May 1, 2001 - 08:50 am:

Ishvara,
Thank you for the kind words. I have so many dreams and desires for my baby, there is no way the he or she will be anything less then great, even with me being a single mother.
Kansascity, I agree with you on the level of stay at home mothers. It has always been a dream and desire of mine to stay home with my kids, however I don't have that option at this time. I ran a day care center for three years so I know that there are some really good ones out there. However, I don't want my baby in a center. I have to work, that is not a option for me, I hope to be able to count on one of my friends that doesn't have to work to watch my baby while I am at work. So even though my dream is not coming true completely, I know that I will be blessed with a beautiful baby who will be an asset to this ever changing world.

By Kansascity (209.242.125.242) on Monday, April 30, 2001 - 01:50 am:

Of course single parents can raise some wonderful kids. But, having to depend on the welfare system is so limiting. Use it if you must. But, spring out of the trap soon as possible. It would be better to be a stay-at-home mom and possibly work from home as well using a computer (medical transcription possibly). Hands on mothering is better than farming kids out to day care centers that are not run properly. The best ones cost allot more. After all, low income women cannot afford the nanny's and state of the art resources that so-called professional women with higher incomes and stronger supports can. I do not mean to hurt anyone's feeling here. Especially do not want to distress a pregnant mother to be. It is just the reality that our society is so hostile to mothers and children in all walks of life.
Nevertheless, where there is a will there is a way. I may be repeating myself, but older women use to tell me while I was with child that God never gives you more than you can handle. I took that advice to heart; even when it seemed I did indeed have more than I thought I could successfully handle. Every child is a blessing and a gift from God. No matter the circumstances, a child is a wonderful gift that we must do our best to take care of. Just remember to take care of yourself as well.

By Ishvara (4.54.119.57) on Sunday, April 29, 2001 - 06:58 pm:

Good for you Svorhies! Many children with two parents turn out much much worse than many single parent raised children. I have all the faith you will create a beautiful little human.

By Roberto (64.12.105.33) on Saturday, April 28, 2001 - 06:30 pm:

Kansascity:

Your words ring true. I thank you for that reality check that you presented. The poverty pimps (welfare administrators are a tiny part of the national social infrastructure) that feed like leeches on the poor, will fight for their survival to keep the poor were they are. Reform of any kind means a loss in power, jobs, status, and dominion over the masses of uneducated, and the powerless people. The only answer to help poor women whether they are white, black or hispanic is to allow them to keep more of the money they earn by changing the tax system, allow them to learn how to invest their money wisely, get them trained for the jobs that go begging. The welfare system should be abolish. I pray for its demise. ~ Roberto

By Kansascity (209.242.125.83) on Saturday, April 28, 2001 - 03:39 am:

The welfare system is a modern day slavery tool. People on welfare are tightly controlled and it is very hard to get out of that situation. Every time you take a step or 2 forward, the welfare administators pull you back. In order to get out of this predictament people have to outsmart the controllers. There is no such thing as 'welfare reform'. It has only gotten worse. The only way to have true welfare reform is to allow people to amass some wealth and resources in order to be able to step off the system. But, of course that won't happen because the administrators want to keep you BROKE and stuck in it. It appears as if they (welfare system) expect and want people to breed. This developes a low paid work force for the jobs nobody else wants to do. If you try to better yourself, the administrators place so many stumbling blocks in your way that you either give up or make yourself sick trying to get out!! All the tricks, traps, schemes, and pitfalls the administrators fully expect welfare recipients to make every mistake and sin in the book....and they frequently do because they do not know or have access (if they do know) to any other way of life. People are sometimes blind to their own predictament especially when born into it. The best thing to do is try to go to school; but do not expect allot of help from the double-talking case workers. (Use them but do not let them use you) You have to find your support systems elsewhere, such as the staff at a community college, church, as well as, people who back you and believe in you. etc. But, sometimes it happens that nobody will believe in you so you have to believe in yourself. Let God be your guide. :-)

By Roberto (152.163.195.178) on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 06:45 pm:

Svorhies:

I apologize to you if I offended you or anyone else. What I said was not meant to demean you or to shame anyone here. You have to remember, I grew up in a time when having children out of wedlock was a stigma. I was too honest in my true feelings. I stand by them, but I did not mean to hurt anyone out there. These are different times, with different outlooks. Maybe I should have been more tactful. Please accept my apology. ~ Roberto

By Svorhies (208.48.12.163) on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 04:50 pm:

Roberto oh Roberto,
First of all let me start off by telling you that I am 10 weeks pregnant with a "bastard fatherless child that is going to be taken care of by the government." What you said in your last couple of posts extremely offended me. How dare you say that just because I am going to be a single mother(not by my choice) that my child is going to be any less of a man or women or be a menace to society just because I am a single parent. Just because I am being a responsible person and choose to keep my child instead of killing it, raising him/her to the best of my ability and not running away like a coward, this automatically means that I will be living off of welfare and that my child will turn out to be just another number in the local jail? As a strong independent woman I have chosen to keep my child and I take great offense to you or any other person calling my child a bastard and your sense of morality should be re-evaluated.

By Roberto (205.188.195.41) on Thursday, April 26, 2001 - 09:09 pm:

Melirosa:

I stand by my view that many young "children" who have "children" do not have the maturity to raise a child. Children I mean under the age of 14 years of age. Yes, there are exceptions, but there is ample proof that early child birth and rearing robs these children of prepartions for life, in terms of education, experiencing life and progressively growing into maturity. The reason that we see the destruction of the black family is this very issue with the assistance from the welfare state that further put the nail in the traditional black family structure that empowered young black women with independance without a man to rear the child. When the black male became irrelevant in the family setting with government taking the role of the breadwinner for black women all hell broke loose in the social order. Now, the same no-shame of having a "bastard child" is no longer a stigma. We have been brainwashed into believing that its acceptable now for "children to have children". It started in the black community and now it has swept the nation. ~ Roberto

By Melirosa (208.48.12.163) on Thursday, April 26, 2001 - 10:52 am:

roberto-
while i agree with you that something has to be done about children having children, i must say that i myself was a very young mother. i got pregnant when i was 16 and had the baby when i was 17. i have always been a responsible mother and i love my children dearly. people like to place blame on issues they think are causing the downfall of our society and our youth. there are so many contributing factors, it is difficult to point the finger as to which certain issue is causing such an upheavel in our nation. i do know many young women that had children at the same age that i did and to this day, they are dedicated young mothers. some of them are still with their childrens fathers and some of them are not. i am no longer with my childrens father, but i was with him for 12 years which i admit was not an easy task. i also know older women with children who are now single because the father of the child has abandoned the family and gone on to other things. this problem effects every social class. children with parents of all ages face living in a single parent home and i hope i have misjudged what you were saying. the conclusion that i drew from your post was that most of the time, young parents are bad parents. i can tell you from experience that is not true. i would like to hear any further comments you may have on this subject.

By Roberto (152.163.204.61) on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 08:09 pm:

Kansascity: Sorry I misspelled your name.
~ Roberto

By Roberto (152.163.204.61) on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 08:06 pm:

Kansacity:

My bias has been displayed here thinking that its only absent fathers who are primarily responsible for the criminal class and juvenile delinquency that is a cancer running rampant in this country. But absent fathers can play a large role in the socialization of the male child. Women are not without blame either. Bad parents can be an ingredient for bad children, but we know there are exceptions. The problem is not only a lack of parental love and responsibility by many, but the ability to be a parent. Something must be done about children having children. ~ Roberto

By Kansascity (209.242.125.84) on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 01:54 am:

Any child would be socially handicapped if all they heard from the time they began to crawl was how bad they were going to be when they grow up and "what a heart breaker"! I have seen little kids do their best....trying to fit into these preconceived molds (without having the slighest understanding)that the adults and eventually their peer groups fill their heads with. Like it is something to proud of being 'bad'.....and "breaking hearts".
And, just because there is a father in the home is no quarantee that children will be raised right...especially a home where little boys and girls witness the brutality inflicted on their mothers by their fathers (or in rare cases) vice versa (and allowing children to see such violence is child abuse as well).
Mother's alone and Father's alone have raised some very fine son's and daughter's by themselves....because they are committed to doing so no matter what. But, then there are mothers and fathers who take out their frustrations on children with abuse and neglect...a child/children who may unpleasantly remind them of the other estranged, abusive, and/or absent parent. Therefore, they do not like or even love those children....then when those kids are growing up and getting out into the school and world.....they may face even more rejection and it just gets to be too much for them!!
It is not just "fatherlessness" that creates a threat to social order but "motherlessness" as well.
Be the kind of father or mother that you wish you could have had. Being a Father and Mother should mean more than just breeding. In addition.......I WISH THE STATE WOULD GET THE HELL OUT OF ALL OUR FAMILIES LIVES!!!

By Roberto (152.163.205.82) on Monday, April 23, 2001 - 11:59 pm:

Many women (black, white, brown, yellow, red) are saying the same thing, "what is wrong with black men". Black women say, "good black men are rare, and are as endangered as a species like the white rhino". White women are saying, "that ideal black man is hard to find anymore", latino, asian and indian women with deep seated beliefs about black men as being unsuitable mates are having their beliefs confirmed by the stereotypical black men who portray the negatives.

Dennis Rodman said something a few years back in a television interview that stuck in my head. He said "he had no father, even though he knew his father, but his father was never there for him. He did not have that male guiding force in his life". When asked about his daughter who he had with his estranged wife, he wept and said, "I want to be a father to my daughter and be there for her not like my father was to me". Dennis is saying the same mantra that I have been hearing and seeing for years, the lack of a male father figure in the lives of many black males. Fatherless among black males is a great threat to the social order of this country (look at the prisons and crimes committed by black males). It is now spreading into the white enclaves of society as well. I ask these questions ladies. Do you think black men are socially handicapped who come from single mother or no parent homes? Do you think black men without fathers are more inclined to be less responsible for the children they help bring into this world? What do you ladies think about black men in their interactions with you? Do you detect aspects that are missing in the man-woman interface with a black man, some black men or all black men? Ladies, please give us "black men" some insights. ~ Roberto